Cool2bjess Posted November 21, 2003 Share Posted November 21, 2003 I really would appreciate your help, It's my fault. My ex and I....we dated for 2 months...and some may think this is only a short time...but I've known him for awhile. Anyways, he's my first love. I love him so much! My problem is....over the last week or so I was sick, I had a major cold sore, and i was a wreck. My relationship with my boyfriend fell from madly in love....to loss of love on both sides. He went away last weekend with his parents, and I really missed him. Anyways, when he got home I felt that the relationship had gotten stale...so i told him we needed to talk. I asked him if he was happy to be with me or simply to have a girlfriend. I told him I didn't love him anymore. Slowly he became convinced that he didn;t want to be with me anymore. The problem is, I was reckless and stupid. I didn't realize how much he really means to me....I still love him. You don't realize how much until that person is gone. I wrote him a note saying I was wrong...that I wanted to try..that I'd rather try a hundred times to work it out than be without him. He however, has decided he no longer wants a girlfriend. I spoke to him (upset on the phone 3 days in a row) and tried to convince him that we should try to fix this. He said I made a good argument..but that he just didn't want a girlfriend anymore. We barely talk in school now...just "hey" and then I find myself calling him or slipping notes in his locker....I keep telling myself if I try hard enough I can get it. I've never wanted anything more in my life. I know I was stupid....it's all my fault....but I love him soo much..and I've been with him through alot....and I need him. We're going to the movies tomorrow night as "friends". It's probably my last chance to change his mind. What do I do? I've talked the subject to death...tried pretty much every angle. After all we've been through how could he "not want a girlfriend?". About a week and a half ago we were soo in love. We can get it back if we try....we both agreed that if we try we can. How can I convince him to try....to give me one chance? Please don't tell me to move on...or that there are plenty of other fish in the sea....I found my fish...I need him. Please help, I'm dying inside. Link to post Share on other sites
yogi-mion Posted November 21, 2003 Share Posted November 21, 2003 Print out this page, and show him. Link to post Share on other sites
lostforwords Posted November 21, 2003 Share Posted November 21, 2003 How can I convince him to try....to give me one chance? You cant convince him anything, you ever hear the saying you can lead the horse to water but you cant make him drink..... thats what it is..... honestly you sending him all those letters all the phone calls and everything is most likely pushing him away more....... id give him time (ouch i know you didnt want to hear that) the more you cry to him send him letters etc.... the more crazy hes gonna think you are.... id just play it cool for awhile... make HIM see what its gonna be like without you... besides perhaps maybe in this case absence will make his heart grow fonder.... but you cant make anyone do anything...... good luck kiddo!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
yogi-mon Posted November 21, 2003 Share Posted November 21, 2003 You obviously love him. He obviously loves you. or he might. I would go for broke and show him this page. BUT be prepared to hear him say no. And figure out what it will mean before you do it. Under normal situations, I would say - dont bother, but you REALLY sound like you miss this guy in an amazing way. Sometimes, the person just needs to see, in plain english, (like your post) how simply head over heels you are. Its a really impressive thing. If my ex was to show me a posting like that I would probably propose to her on the spot. (Assuming it was the ex im thinking of..) Link to post Share on other sites
lostforwords Posted November 21, 2003 Share Posted November 21, 2003 your 16 years old???...... well yeh i guess you could show him this post.... what harm can it do...... and if that doesnt work i guess you can be "friends" its better to be friends than not to be at all i guess...... Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted November 21, 2003 Share Posted November 21, 2003 how could he not want you as a girlfriend? could it be that he's getting some very mixed signals from you and has decided that it's just not worth pursuing? especially when you've hurt him? "when he got home I felt that the relationship had gotten stale...so i told him we needed to talk. I asked him if he was happy to be with me or simply to have a girlfriend. I told him I didn't love him anymore" now what part of that statement would make a man feel that a girl who says something like that is someone he wants to be with? forget about the notes or the calls or conversations in which you say you need and want him back. He's not looking at it from that viewpoint, but most likely basing his response on that "I don't love you anymore" whammy you dealt him. By chasing after him the way you have been, you're only reinforcing his thoughts that you're fickle and your behavior is wishy-washy. Frankly, I think you pretty much blew it. Why? because a 16-year-old (I'm guessing he's your age) doesn't have the kind of assurance that comes with maturity, so he doesn't see any other options than to end the relationship with you; he doesn't have the experience to know that things CAN work out if he's willing to try. At 16, all he sees is being rejected and will run away from the one who rejected him as quickly as his legs will carry him. let him go ... maybe enough time will pass for him to want to give it another try, but until then, you trying to "convince" him to get back together is like pouring salt on an open cut, and believe me, he's not going to have any of that. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts