3 months after break up and its starting to hit me again

[adamt]

Its over 3 months of NC and since my break up. I've been busy all summer so not had time to think about the ex too much. I've done the rounds of visiting people at weekends and doing trips. I am generally ok during the week with work and gym keeping me occupied. But I find the weekends pretty hard to deal with. I used to be a person who could happily chill out for the day but now I hate having spare time at the weekend because i end up thinking about the ex a lot. I'm trying my best to move on, been going to bars but end up getting depressed cos i want to be with the ex even more when i dont see anyone i fancy more than her.

 

Weekends i feel restless,lonely and lost . Like i am stuck in limbo. i want to move on but i am finding it hard. Only way i can get through weekends is get out and go walking for a few hours or do physical exercise.

 

I seemed to be doing ok but when i hit 3 months it seems like the reality of what has happened has kicked in and now it feels she truely is not coming back. It feels like i am never going to get back to normal.

 

The only good thing come out of all this seems to be that i've got into the gym, getting fit and lost 14lbs. I've got a good set of friends but it just doesnt feel right without the ex around.

 

I honestly didnt think it would be this hard. I guess it is the feeling of not knowing what you lost until its gone. Never thought about settling down until i met this girl. She was all for settling down too. My head is still all over the place and wondering how it all went wrong.

 

I feel like contacting the ex hoping things can be sorted out but i know it wont help. I dread bumping into her and falling apart or saying stupid things.

[coliflower]

Hiya Adamt

Its been 3 months for me now too and i feel worse now than when we first broke up.

I have not been able to go nc due to having things to sort out between us and also we work in the same building so I have bumped into him.

I feel so lonely at times as my friends all have their own lives so i dont really get to see them much. I still seem to be thinking of him most of the time and i have done lots of crying recently.

I am really hoping that i snap out of this soon as i hate to be so sad all the time.

Hugs to you and hope things get better for you soon x

[mr heartbroken]

Hi, i had about 2 1/2 months without contact. she then contacted me. she wanted to meet up. we did. I am in a worse place now. I managed to avoid what was going on in her life with no contact. I am now at the stage of complete fear of not having her in my life. I need to learn to move on. my friens are getting fed up hearing about it/ it has been six months. you just needto give it time. she will be thinking about you but dont brake nc. i hope you will be strong and keep the faith.

[adamt]

I tell you what, drinking beer does not help. You get a temporary high then later on the night when you get home it makes you depressed. then the next morning you still feel depressed. Just not ready to go out there and chat women up. i just dont feel upto getting back into late bars and clubs. I feel a bit better tonight and will be ok during the week. Weekends are definately the worst. I'm just going to keep focusing on my medium term goals. like getting fitter and today i had my first snowboard lesson. plan to go snowboarding next feb.

[GrayClouds]

I tell you what, drinking beer does not help. You get a temporary high then later on the night when you get home it makes you depressed. then the next morning you still feel depressed.

 

Yep. Last night's fun is doing nothing good for me today. I am so down today that everything is making me miss the relationship.

[broken_promises]

I am in the exact same place about 2-1/2 months out with NC. I feel like I could have written this post. I hate the restlessness. I also hate the constant replaying of what went wrong over and over in my head.

 

Lately, I have been consumed with wanting to contact the ex. Not sure why, since NC was fairly (and shockingly) easy for me. But now I just want to pour out all of my feelings - both the good and the bad to him - for what reason I don't know. I don't want him back. I don't think he'll even care what I say. I know it will just set me back. But I feel like my silence has somehow kept me from moving on.

 

Anyway - thanks for the post. At least it is helpful to know that we are not alone in this.

[adamt]

Unfortuntately before i went to bed i saw some pictures of her through a mutual friend. She was looking good. Doing the usual facebook smiles taking self pictures of her and a friends. She looked well happy but with her new hair style didnt look the same girl i knew. I tmade me wonder if being with me made her unhappy in the end. I didnt get upset but i ended up having 3 dreams in my sleep about her. same pattern of her chatting friendly with me, then being surrounded by lots of people and me unable to get close to her to talk to her. dont feel as down as the day after a drink though. But will i ever get over her fully? Its going to take time. I want to contact her but i just know i will end up in mess. Sunday is going to be hard to get though, they always are. Too much time on my hands sundays and we would alway just chill out together.

 

I wish she had broken up with me a lot sooner when she still had feelings for me and then we still could sort out issues. Thats the hard part not realising there were serious issues until she is moving on.