Should I Keep Trying or Stop?

[dli1121]

I never really explained this to anyone and would like to know what to do it's a long story but I hope someone can help me out...

 

About a couple years ago I had a friend who liked this girl. I tried to play match-maker and she ended up having feelings for me. Eventually I kept talking to her and gained feelings for her as well but didn't do anything risking the friendship I had. In turn there was another man in her life and chose him instead. Greatly heartbroken, I tried to get over it and move in. A couple of months go by and her childhood friend liked me so we end up "going steady" at the same time the girl I originally liked was dating the other guy...I never liked the other guy, there was something about him but she was happy so I didn't mention anything. I was always jealous of them, they looked so happy. So both our relationships end up being 3 years long, her boyfriend was moving away and chose to end it while mine was we parted ways because of distance as well. I was a bit upset in my break-up so who should I speak to about what has happened and I thought why not the original girl since she used to be best friends with her.

 

So as we started talking and I conjured those feelings again knowing she was single. We hung out had a great time and I told her I still had feelings for her and she as well. We got really close and spoke on the phone everyday for countless hours. After working up the courage to see if we can become something even more she said no, because she just got out of a 3 year relationship (but so did I). We still kept talking and hanging out even having each others friends as company but never an intimate setting. She befriended my friends and in turn I befriended hers, though one of my friends is a "ladies man" if you may and tends to flirt with a lot of girls despite him knowing I liked this girl. So new year's day she asked me to go out somewhere but stated to please make sure to invite my friend (ladies man) as well. I, being the jealous type tried to pin-point if she liked him said "wow you're more excited to see him than me". She became very angry and said "I told you we were just friends and I'm not anyone's property". I then became really sad for doing something stupid and starting off the new year. I realized how much I liked her. We talked about the "puppy love" stuff like kissing, I made her a mix cd with a bunch of love songs, this was around christmas time so I thought I should get her something and surprisingly enough she got me something as well. After the phone incident I had to go out a town to go back to school which is about an hour away not anything serious so I tried to just forget about it. I would try to still call her but it wasn't the same and then I asked her if she still liked me and she sadly said no...

 

I was heartbroken, it hurt, I've always heard it was the worst pain and they were right. Apparently my friend (the ladies man) was talking to her. I was infuriated, that my "good friend" would do that to me but being the nice person I am i just said you could've told me. But both parties were telling me nothing was going on that he would not do that because of our friendship. I tried to get over her, but I couldn't. I could not stop thinking about her at all. Everything reminded me of her. She would try to contact me but being sad I would leave it brief. I found out she told my friend intimate things about her past relationship and it irritated me as well since I was the only one who was supposed to know. I know that seems childish but understand that this guy is a womanizer and likes to get off from other people's sexual experiences so that is why it bothered me.

 

My friend told me what she did, so I was of course going to use that as a weapon. Another female friend of mine knew about the current situation (I mentioned earlier no one really knew but there's ALOT more to the story that no one knows about) so she told me to talk to her. I worked up the courage and I did. She got really upset about the "womanizer" friend telling me things and stopped their friendship which did not let me finish telling her how I felt... So one day she came over my side of town and I finally told her how I felt, she told me she said and did those things because she really did like me and did not want to grow attached because of her past relationship. So comfortable with that we got to what we were before, kind of.

 

So with things back to normal, we spoke just like before. We got real intimate on the phone but not in real life. I did not care about intimacy, I just wanted to be with the girl. So it was her spring break from school so her and her friend rented a hotel near my college and spent a couple of days there. I finally wanted to make a move. I asked her friend if i can "speak" with her alone and she agreed. I took her to the beach at night on the dock and kissed her. Before this we mentioned not to conjure feelings just friends with benefits, i told her yes of course. (I lied). We kissed then made out for hours. I was not really a big fan of making out for long periods of time, but with her I could do it forever. She told her friend how amazing it was and her friend reminded her its not supposed to get serious. And she reminded me of it as well. I didn't care from that point on I was head over heels.

 

Now to what no one knows

 

 

I had my spring break so I headed back home where she lives just 2 minutes away from my house, It was her birthday week as well. Although her friend told me horrible news that her ex cheated on her and I later found out he cheated on her every chance he got but I had to swear not to say anything. I knew there was something wrong about that guy. Meanwhile I was planning her birthday I wanted to make it the best. I was successful and we had another intimate encounter but nothing serious, the next day she had a family get together which she invited me, the "ladies man" showed up as well since apparently he owed her money but they never spoke since the incident, he talked to me and started saying "yo bro she has a big ass" and made fun of her family (which she was really really close to) behind her back and she noticed it. So after the party she joined me to take her friend home she became angry with me again and asked why would I make fun of her family and stated that at least her ex boyfriend was loved by her family which basically meant he was better... Knowing that was not true, I came out and told her..."sweetheart he cheated on you" She bursted in to tears crying saying she knew it she gave everything to him, I felt horrible saying it but he was a dick.

 

So spring break was over and she had the mindset of all guys are horrible... I was kinda upset though there were some points her and I got intimate but I didn't mention anything about a relationship. What bothers me is she kisses me and stuff, we talk on the phone everyday and every night for hours and hours but then there are certain times (basically near her time of the month) where she hardly calls but it goes back to normal or even better. Just recently we had a conversation and I kinda blurted out on accident that I loved her... She was bothered by that because again of her last relationship. She said I was the greatest guy ever, literally ever but that she does not want a relationship and to "keep my eyes open" but if we are meant to be will end up together. In november it will be a year of this "friendship" since it started.

 

To anyone who has read this, thank you for your time. Now for my question. After giving this girl all these mix cd's, talking to her all the time, kissing and fooling around with her and putting up with the times where she becomes irritable during that time of the month (understand it is only with me, thats why i point out that detail), do everything and anything for her, should I continue or should I really move on? In all honesty I don't want to, I love this girl more than anything, I think about her all the time she is the first thing i think about in the morning and the last at night. I want to grow old with her... I just want to know if I should continue or move on

[EsmerKiss7]

I think you should move on. I mean I understand you like her and all, but it seems like she doesn't want that kind of relationship with you... You can still be friends if you want but I think you should keep your options open because she is kind of stringing you along. Also, by doing this you could be blinding yourself from potential opportunites with other girls that may be better for you, idk, just a suggestion.

[Jada]

You can't move on until she clearly leaves you in no doubt that there is no relationship to have whatsoever.