mimiminx Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 What does she say in her texts? Are you responding? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oh Moe Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 Hello, Where you at, what you up to, haven't heard from you. I haven't contacted her in three weeks. She's been doing all the contacting. Insist I can stop her work and see her. What does she say in her texts? Are you responding? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oh Moe Posted September 22, 2009 Author Share Posted September 22, 2009 Ok I finally broke down and answered her call. But I will say all were on my terms. We met for about 30 minutes and finally talked all of where things went wrong in our relationship. We didn't blame just talked of how we got from there to here, such minor things and we both agreed the biggest thing was we lost COMMUNICATION. We talked about us and the future, I told her I didn't want a second chance any longer with are relationship and she was taken back some when I said why should we go back to things that didn't work why not start new. She said she couldn't understand how we could do that with such a wonderful past. I told her when our heads are more clear in a few weeks I will ask her out for coffee or a night out to start and she agreed that would be fine. I also told her there would be a time limit that I would have to set and she wanted to know why, I told her I couldn't be friends with the one I love. The time limit thing seemed to bother her some because she said what if I'm not ready at that time, I said well I'm a lap dog I'm a man. I did stop by her work after her asking me to for the last several weeks and I was treated like a king. I do feel though that she still has some doubts about me taking charge of the relationship, I told her that's how it was in the beginning, I was the leader, I was the strong one. I made it very clear I was in charge and she agreed with me. I will never be feminized again. So we'll see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
mimiminx Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 wow moe- sounds like things are moving in a good direction!! So, it has been over a month for you now, right? About 7 weeks since you broke up? Just curious. Good that you put your foot down and set some boundaries. Going back to the "old" relationship that didn't work so well is not as good as starting something "new" with the love you have for each other. I do believe that people who truly love eachother will come back together in time. How could they not? Whatever issues were between them, if they love eachother, sometimes time apart can make that love grow and for the individuals to address things in themselves which may eventually bring the love back to them. (I'm going through something similar). You have made leaps in self-improvement and I think you're showing her that. This is wonderful... I hope things go well for you, I really do. Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 She didn't like the time limit cause she said she might not be ready again by then? That doesn't sound like she's changed her mind about the split... Her actions and words really don't add up....I think that anyone who has ended a relationship has a very good reason for doing it - BUT will feel guilty so likes to keep the person close and say nice things to them to assuage their guilt, or feel really lonely so keep the other person close for a while so they get to share a bit of intimacy still, or they miss the closeness they had with the other person as hey, they probably still love the other person (but are not 'in love'), or really still fancies them BUT there is a bigger reason (wanting someone else, being with someone else, wanting to be single, realizing the person isn't the one they should marry, etc etc) that means they DON'T BUDGE with their decision to split, hence they will be sweet as pie and say they love you, or miss you, or share some intimacy, but WON'T compromise on the taking you back. The one thing that strikes me (also with mimiminx) is how the story is told almost like the two people are star crossed lovers in some way, so in love but somehow kept apart. Well....there is nothing keeping the 2 people apart,aside from one not wanting a relationship....its as simple as that. Really hope there is a good story for you both, but I still also think it is a better idea to go NC keep NC and treat the Rs like they are completely over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oh Moe Posted October 17, 2009 Author Share Posted October 17, 2009 (edited) Well an update sort of. LOL Nothing has changed in the last 4 weeks or so. I am not answering all of calls. Yes she calls but no movement. Words are cheap. I'm beginning to think she is bi- polar though. I am nearly back to my self, lost a lot of weight do the gym at least 5-6 times per week, haven't felt this good in a long while. Have gotten much of my confidence back and self respect that I lost on her. When we do talk I never mention us anymore. There has been a few conversations where she has asked me things and I plain out told her I am no longer a sucker and she doesn't like it. When we would talk she would just cut us off and say I have to go or in the middle of texting just disappear. I told her I wasn't a dog and deserved to be respected if she wanted to talk to me. I actually told her if this is how it's going to be I would never bother again. She instantly said why wound you want to do that. We have six kids between us and we have to run into each other a few times per week. Although l have the last several times just walked by her. She did text me this week saying she is getting better, have no idea what that means. I just this week for the first time ran into a mutual friend who was more devastated then I was he said you to were the last two I would ever expect this to happen to. (Older friend from church)He also told me she confided in him that she wanted to work things out. I am reevaluating things every two weeks or so, we still love each other and that makes it hard. The reason I said she may be Bi-Polar is twice now we could be having a great conversation and she goes from nice a hell to down right nasty, I've never seen her get nasty until now in all my life. One thought though we talked about a month ago about me asking her out on a date in 3-4 weeks and she said OK. I told her I had to take care if a few things first. I haven't done this could she mad at this just curious. A few other questions ?? The last several times we've talked or met she's let me see her kids, even was allowed to take them out. They had the time of their life and told me and their mom so. When they are with her and see me they run to me and refuse to go back with her with out an argument. I talk to them and explain I love them and I'll see them again but the last time was bad the 7 year old cried hysterically and the other yelled at mom that since _____ ain't around you don't smile any more. It was a bad seen. Is this making things worse? Edited October 17, 2009 by Oh Moe Link to post Share on other sites
name witheld Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 Dude, you should not be involving kids in this. They do not understand what is happening and it will be damaging for them. Don't see her kids or let her see yours until things are stable. Its for their own good. I think your situation is exactly opposite of mine. You showed her too much attention and let her get her own way too much. Unfortunately from what you have said i think you are still allowing her to lead. You shouldn't need to say i'm in charge etc, just do it and she will no. You have to stick with strict NC, it is a no brainer in your situation. It is the opposite of how you acted in the relationship and it will keep kids out of the picture. because you have let her lead a bit you are back to square one, she has the upper hand. back off a bit and tell her to do the same, just minimise everything and don't SAY what you are doing. Just Do it. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
name witheld Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 lol i should work for Nike.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oh Moe Posted February 28, 2010 Author Share Posted February 28, 2010 Wow what a change. After along 7 months of sort of no contact then contact, disagreements and such things have changed. (We still have never argued in more then three years) In other posts I mentioned she fell in the depths of hell.LOL Let a looser move in with her, Crack head scum. She just sucked. She has been texting and calling more and more and I was ignoring her. Well the other day she calls and I pick the phone up out of my pocket and never looked at the number and it was her, she was hysterical. I just disappeared off the earth for the last month or so. Well she wanted to meet up and I said no at first then she called back and asked if I could help her with a few things. I later on stopped by. She told me every little detail of her life for the last 7 month, she talked for 4 hours never stopped, told me things I didn't want to know or need to know. She said she needed to be honest with me and explain all. She said she was a jerk, ass and every other word. She told me she loved me still more then anything and always will. We hugged and I left. She called alittle later and we talked for 6 hrs. of every aspect of our 3 year relationship. We decided we both were the two most stubborn people alive, we both are very much alike, why we never argued, I had a problem with frustration which I knew. She had a problem reading me, took things the wrong way, I am a funny guy and make lite of the worse situations. She admitted yesterday she laughed more and harder then ever before even going through what we did. I agreed to start over as friends only then work up from there. I hope this works out because the whole conversation we talked of our love for each other. Link to post Share on other sites
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