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Im breaking up with him tonight, but I dont want to

Katherineos123

By Katherineos123,
in Long-Distance Relationships

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Katherineos123

Katherineos123

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So, Not sure if anyone remembers my situation with my boyfriend... But heres the brief synopsis.

 

Im currently in a relationship, for about a year, and the guy has been very hurtful/unappreciative of me the past month or so... We had reached the tipping point two weeks ago, and he hurt my feelings terribly. I told him how much he hurt me and he said he would try and be more appreciative and considerate and loving of me.

 

We met up this past weekend and had a wonderful night on Friday, laughing, having fun, had awesome sex... we talked about our problems and both agreed that we want to work this out and that what we have is too good to give up on. He was having some sort of family reunion and kept introducing me to all of his family with his arm around me, complimenting me, and he just seemed to be very proud of me.

 

Well. He hurt me AGAIN on saturday night. Im at my complete wits end. I know I need to break up with him because he is obviously incappable of giving me what I want/deserve, but I dont want to end things. I still love him... Although at this point, Im not even sure why.... Im at the point where the bad times are begining to outweigh the good times, and that whenever things ARE going well, Im always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and for everythign to turn south...

 

However, I feel as though because Ive given him so many chances, that that is part of the reason why he's not trying... I feel like he believes to have me wrapped around his finger, and that Im so hopelessly devoted that Ill stick around... I know he would miss me terribly... Im hoping that if I dump him it might be a serious reality check for him, and that he might realize what he's lost...

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Benique

Benique

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Go to NC . Calm down . Let him calm down too .

And you will see the truth :

either you see him in two weeks around some other girl

or

you see him missing you terribly as you think he`d be ..

 

 

The woman in love is more terribly silly-pilly than a fried chicken on your dinner table .

 

So be wiser than the chicken .

 

Stay away and watch-observe having detached your self .

 

 

Good luck !

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Adri Ana

Adri Ana

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You can feel terrible now , you can feel lost ,

but you also know the truth ,

The only way to know he loves you or not

is to give him the chance to prove you this .

 

So

give him the chance to PROVE

and not the chance to just be back .

 

 

First of alll, talk to him .

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Katherineos123

Katherineos123

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You can feel terrible now , you can feel lost ,

but you also know the truth ,

The only way to know he loves you or not

is to give him the chance to prove you this .

 

So

give him the chance to PROVE

and not the chance to just be back .

 

 

First of alll, talk to him .

 

 

I dont think I could possibly talk to him anymore about this... which is why Im going to break up with him. How many times can you have the same conversation with someone?

 

Im just really sad because when we are together and things are good, theyre SOO good... Im just going to miss him a lot.

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Katherineos123

Katherineos123

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Go to NC . Calm down . Let him calm down too .

And you will see the truth :

either you see him in two weeks around some other girl

or

you see him missing you terribly as you think he`d be ..

 

 

The woman in love is more terribly silly-pilly than a fried chicken on your dinner table .

 

So be wiser than the chicken .

 

Stay away and watch-observe having detached your self .

 

 

Good luck !

 

We didnt have a fight... So its not really a calm down type situation. Im sure theres not anyone else. I know him too well for that, hes not cheating. He woulda dumped me first! :p

 

I know I should be wiser than the fried chicken, Im just hurt and sad that he couldnt honestly give us more of a fighting chance...

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Katherineos123

Katherineos123

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I was with him on friday night, like I said, but he was having a family get together at his place, and a girlfriend of mine who I havent seen in 2 years was in town. So I left to go spend some time with her.

 

He had told me that he was going to stick around his place to hang out with the fam, but that there was a band playing at a bar in the town where I was going to be, and that if he went, he would call me.

 

So I go out, have an awesome night with my girl. Texted him really late asking if he was up, which he didnt respond to.

 

We talk the next day and he asks me how my night was and I asked him the same and he says how we ended up going to that bar and seeing some of my friends there, but he never called me.

 

When I said "you went to ricks? why didnt you call me?" he said "my phone was dead." so i asked why he wouldnt have called me from someone elses phone and he just said "I dont know, I just didnt"

 

And normally I guess this wouldnt have been such a big deal to me, but its just that after what he put me through the last time I came to visit, and now this... We dont even get to see each other that much, so when im home on the weekends... call me crazy, but i like to spend time with him! Its obvious that this is the way its going to be between us. The push-pull, yo-yoing, and its just exhausting me. I have nothing left.

 

I just need to be with someone who wants to be around me as much as I want to be around them. If he wanted to see me that night, he wouldve, bottom line. I just dont know how he can say and do all those wonderful things one minute, and then treat me as if Im completely disposable the next.

 

Ive been reading other posts which refer to the charectoristics of the classic commitment phobe, and Im pretty sure thats EXACTLY what this guy is... Things are going well, he loves me and I feel the same, he starts to feel suffocated, he pushes me away, I cry, he apologizes, I think he's going to treat me better, I take him back... repeat.

 

And I dont want to play that game anymore.

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sugarmomma

sugarmomma

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He sounds like an Azz..clown. I would have dropped him 11 months ago. You deserve better.

 

Why do you even still want to be with him? He probably thinks "I must not be that bad, she still wants me".

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sugarmomma

sugarmomma

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Maybe he just wanted you to have fun with your friend that you hadn't seen in 2 years.

 

If that was the case he would/should have said that instead of LYING and saying that he would call her if he went to the club, which he went and didn't call.

 

Please don't make excuses for him.

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Katherineos123

Katherineos123

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Thanks for taking time guys.

 

Normally John, I wouldnt have cared about one night. Things happen, people get caught up, I was having a good time myself, so it wasnt that big of a deal.

 

Its just that with all of our problems, and the fact that he promised me that he would prove to me that he values and cares about us and our relationship, and THEN pulls a move like this.... he couldve called me from a friends phone, HELL my roomate/best friend was there that night! He couldve made it happen, he just didnt care enough too... and it stings something terrible.

 

You know Sugar, I honestly dont know why I want to be with him, but I do, I still love him. Old habits die hard I guess. I just keep thinking of the way things were, and how good they COULD be if ony he would put in any effort. I guess I still see the potential of him and I. But Im trying to come to grips with the fact that that is never going to be a reality. :(

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AnnPod

AnnPod

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Thanks for taking time guys.

 

I honestly dont know why I want to be with him, but I do, I still love him.

 

I hear you, really!!

But according to my experience, in order to break up with someone, you really have to mean it, as Trialbyfire said. Because otherwise you might regret, you get inconsequent. So what is it you want? Break really up, or just make him change his behavior by doing so?

 

Sad or good as it is, as soon as you 2 are somehow interested, it's also hard not (!) to keep going.

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