what does one do?

[amy jo]

i went out with this guy for about nine months and dated for about a year. we had a unique connection, sometimes i wonder what exactly it was and hope to find it with someone else one day. we were special, we were "ryan and amy" the couple. i always felt so loved, cherished and missed. maybe that is why we stuck together as long as we did. well.. anyways back to the story: we had our rough times where i wondered why we were still together. i mean, sometimes, i felt as if we were more like best pals then boyfriend and girlfriend. but we were connected in a way that i fear i won't get again. well.. one day he dropped a bomb on me that shook my world. he said that he loved me very much but he had done something that even us wouldn't be able to fix. he had slept with a girl that he had only knew maybe a little longer than a week. i was speechless and more confused then ever... i handled it horribly. not even a week later i found out that he had decided to go out with her, forget what we had and move on, well atleast it seemed that way to me. that is what killed. it made me feel like the one thing that meant the most to me, killed me in the end. it has been three months about now. i still have occassional contact with him, and he tells me how i was so special to him and that he will always love me like no other. it confuses me as to why he tells me that. why? i wish there was a book to tell me how to handle these rough times in life, but of course it is just one other thing that comes without a freakin handbook! i could use any advice that anyone reading can possibly spare. how do i act? is it possible to just be friends with someone who was your world at one time? or is that dreaded saying " i still want to be your friend" just pure bull? how do let go of the past and look unto the future when there is something always there to remind you of it?! well.. help if you can.. i will stop babbling now. thanks for caring!

 

- one confused lonely girl..

[Bridget]

Amy Jo, I know that Ryan hurt you very much, but you need to get over him. You should not keep letting him tell you that he will always love you because he has already proven that this isn't true. I think that if he truly cared about your feelings then he wouldn't have slept with another person while you still thought he loved only you. I know this must be hard, but having him drag on the situation is not going to help you heal. It will be going on and on and as time goes by with him still trying to communicate with you as he does the stituation will get worse instead of better. He is something of your past now and you need to leave him there. If you don't leave him in your past, then you will never have good memories of him and that is the way you should remember anything. Remember the good times and keep contact to a minimal.