How come women don't give me any attention?

[carhill]

Sierra Nevada Pale. Last bottle. I'm leaving tomorrow. Fridge has to be empty

[Jaytb]

Sierra Nevada Pale. Last bottle. I'm leaving tomorrow. Fridge has to be empty

 

OOoooo good. Don't worry, I'll flee if the cops come.

[carhill]

I can't even get the maid to come. She's frigid too

[Maxwell Sage]

Jeez...

 

I'm 6'1 and weigh about 132... I feel like a branch, thanks to FunMike or whatever his name was...

 

I do have a bit of a six pack as well as some meat on my biceps... I think I'm just hollow or something...

 

I can relate to your post though.

I've been shy for as long as I can remember and I'm not a drinker or a smoker...

So, there's nothing I can turn to in order to feel more at ease and thereby approach women...

Will someone share the most sensible way to go about things?

[ashy555]

'Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder'

 

Take comfort in that please.

someone will come along, everyone's appearance is unique, but someone who loves you for you and not your appearance, but your personality will come along.

[sb129]

I've found that when a girl finds you attractive it doesnt really matter if you are approachable or not.

 

Usually a girl finds you attractive BECAUSE you are approachable.

 

But hey, whatever.

[Stroon]

i dont think 5'7" is too short at all.

If you think you are skinny as opposed to thin, as well as working out a bit to bulk yourself up, you could try dressing in a way that suits your stature.

there are some wicked fashions around now that really suit a thinner frame, and I really like a man to dress nice, i like the geeky look.

 

My H is 6' and only weighs about 140Lbs, so he really is pretty skinny, but I like that, and lots of women do, its all about looking healthy.

I dont like the overly muscular look.

 

You should only work out to give yourself confidence though, if you feel it would help.

Personally, i find confidence very attractive. I dont mean arrogance, but when someone has a bit of mojo going on, it sort of exudes and its attractive no matter what they look like. it comes from feeling good, so treat yourself to some new clothes, or a haircut, or some new aftershave, or whatever it is that you enjoy that makes you feel nice. but dont be worrying about whether or not girls will like it, do what you want, thats the key.

[C-i-C-u]

I think most women btwn the ages of 18-25 are only wanting to get drunk or date stereotypical guys, like the older man, the bad boy, etc. You seem to not be either of those. You are just going to have to wait for women to mature and that is 25 and after.

[UrKillinMeSmalls]

Been reading through this thread, a few things caught my eye.

 

Being the fitness nerd that I am, the physical stuff jumped at me the most. 5'7" and 137 lbs is not borderline anorexic. 5'7" and 117 lbs would be considered 'underweight'. You're fine. (B)ody (M)ass (I)ndex illustrates that a person your height is within a normal weight range, so whoever said you are near anorexic is getting his info from the wrong place. I work in the healthcare field and have been active in contact sports all my life (I'm tooting my own horn here because I want you to know you can trust my judgement). This site has a good reference:

 

http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/

 

I could write pages on nutrition, but that would bore everyone that comes into contact with this post, so I'll just say a few things. For your body type, being on the lean side, don't forget to pack on the carbs. High metabolisms require lots and lots of energy: think fruits, crackers like wheat thins or triscuits, and whole wheat bread. Don't let anyone tell you you have to become a carnivor or stack supplements to pack muscle. 120-ish grams of protein daily is enough, and that can be acquired with 3-4 large glasses of milk a day (%1-%2 only). Don't deny your body the massive amounts of carbs it needs. You won't see gains without them.

 

As for height, no there's not a lot you can do about it. There are pills and steroid treatments you can get involved with at your doctor's guidance, but it would probably be called a vanity case and go no where. So, my advice is to take this fact to heart: girls dig guys that are taller. Yes, taller, as in taller than them. You don't have to be six foot something. Regurgitating the obvious again, confidence is far more important. Part of confidence is being OK with who you are. Confidence is something that is learned over time, just like a subject in school, only you teach it to yourself. It's old news, but it's true.

 

I read somewhere in here too that people are saying you posted as a different person or something? I won't make any judgement on that, because I don't know- but the question I think stemmed from your income. Are you happy with your job? Are you happy in school? Working and acquiring an education is attractive. Use it. I've read through a few of your other posts and most of the time you seem to come off negatively, on the verge of woman-hating. It may be over the internet but people can still pick up on it- I imagine your persona is not that much different in person. Attitude is everything. I read somewhere that women want a guy that radiates positivity, the gung ho mentality; this is not the same as confidence. It's seperate, but also looked for by girls. Count your blessings. What if you were 5' 5", had no job and were waiting to get into school because of no money/bad credit? There is a guy somewhere that IS in that position, be thankful you're not him. It could be worse.

 

I'm hoping I didn't just write all this for nothing and you'll take it to heart. It's genuine advice.

 

P.S.: Don't forget to smile. Ladies love a good smile.

Edited October 4, 2009 by UrKillinMeSmalls

[Peaceful Guy]

ug, i wish i had gotten to this one sooner. i hope you listen to this! there is nothing wrong with your physical stature or weight. the problem that you are having is that you are become bitter and resentful from years of what you've perceived as rejection. what you haven't learned is that instead of trying to impress these girls you feel snubbed by, you should be looking for something different!!! you're becoming not only resentful to women, but also to fellow guys. nobody else can help their height any more than you can. people outside the "norm" get the chance to be real that "pretty" people sometimes never get. you've put so much weight on your own appearance that you're beginning to look at others the same way. let me put it to you like this, i don't like girls who wear makeup, high heals, or any of that crap. i am a 5' 11", slim, and attractive guy. i would not hesitate to date a girl that was heavier, skinnier, taller, shorter, small boobs, lazy eye,,, if i thought they were a good person and we got along i would find that incredibly attractive. that's not the norm, but trust me its the way to be. you can either be at peace with yourself and others, develop genuine relationships, and look for someone special to be happy with.. or be a miserable, bitter person that will never live up to his own standards and will resent the people around him because they represent his percieved shortcomings.

[bluegreen12]

How about spend some time at KFC?

 

Do you like meat? How about pasta and bread? There are tons of calories in milk. Do you eat cheese? Do you like any of those food I mentioned?

 

Have you eaten a whole chicken in one day and some potatoes and pasta too it?

 

If you live in the United States, as opposed to some third world country, it's not hard to gain weight.

[Slainte]

i would like to add that furthermore, i know my height is what turns women off so much from me and makes them harbor antipathy towards me. How? A month ago i made two internet profiles with my picture one saying my real height 5'7 , and another in another state with 6'2 as a height and I would say atleast 90% of the women i emailed responded to the second one (many wanting dates) while the 5'7 one only one woman responded and it was a brief exchange.

 

Do you think getting elevator shoes is an option, or would a woman really make a big stink about it after she found out i was 3 inches shorter than i look?

 

If you feel its because you're thin and short (an ordinary plain appearance), maybe you could consider going to a Gym twice a week to tone up a little to add and define shape. Short people (I'm around 5'8 or 5'9) get the best shape with a little work and are generally the best weight lifters due to a small, tight frame.

 

My problem is the opposite, I've so much size on me I feel that women think I'm too big in size so I'm trying to reduce size by dropping weight to 90kg through doing more cardiovascular (running, cycling, etc.) exercise.

 

All I can guarantee is that you'll be more confident if you're toned up, and you'll feel better with or without female attention.

[amagordos]

So you can't change your height, and you could work out, but i think some girls do like short guys. I know i used to like a short guy because he was so cute. Maybe you come off as aloof and not attentive enough. Like if you see a girl looking for something, you don't go help her. Girls like it when guys joke too, so having a sense of humor is not bad either, however, dont over do it. Just stay positive and smile a lot, girls also love that

[Pedigree]

cognac, as a 5'6 guy speaking to a 5'7 guy, can I suggest that you change tack and don't ask for any attention? It seemed to work for me.

 

I was at my friend's girlfriend's birthday party yesterday night. And she had her girl friends over as well. I was polite, I socialized, but I never showed any signs that I'm there to get anyone's attention much less get a date. Then the beer ran out and when I volunteered to get some more at the liquor shop, one of the girls there wanted to come along with me. It was a quick trip (10 mins back and forth) but I got to know her a little bit.

 

So then I got back with the girl. My next concern at the party was the music that was playing on loop. So I went to the computer where the music was playing and looked for some new music to put on. At that point a girl that I had not seen earlier came and joined me and asked me about the music and we proceeded to create a new playlist whilst introducing ourselves to one another. In reference to your other thread, I should point out that she's 5'9.

 

I left the party feeling very confident myself. I did nothing and two girls gave me attention that was not just any ordinary attention. I'll be seeing them soon again and I'm keen to take my chances then.

[MrFun]

they don't really seem to give me much attention....My only problem is i am rather short at 5'7 and am slim..I have been rather anti-social due to it

 

It's your attitude that needs bulking up, if I may say so.

 

Being visually attracted to a cell phone, doesn't mean you'll buy it. How often have you bought something you weren't attracted to because it had better features? And in the end you ended up loving the hell out of it?

 

That's how women think. Lose the low self esteem and develop yourself. Those types of guys are in HIGH demand.

[yongyong]

if you've got a physical problem, you would have to attend many more auditions.

 

you can also increase the chance by making more money

(after 30, it's about your social level)

[Peaceful Guy]

Other than being rich or getting taller, what can increase my value in the eyes of women (outside of "confidencE" and the rest of the cliches) in your experience?

 

hey man, i feel like the first time i responded to this i was too harsh and not helpful enough. maybe there was some truth to what i said, but still, im sorry. that said, i reread your original question and i do think there are some things you can do. here goes:

 

what you really want to portray is that you are healthy. some people do this with tricks or illusions, but if you want to feel good about yourself i think it needs to be real. now, ive never met you in person so im not implying that you dont do these things, just that they could help if you didnt..

 

for one, you can take really good care of your teeth and gum health. i suggest investing in a water pik and one of those automatic toothbrushes. also, a tongue scraper is a good idea to clean off plaque and junk from your tongue.

 

if you have nose hair, trim it back. theres a thing called a sinus rinse, its like a bottle that you use to squeeze water and a cleansing solution into your nose. it goes in one nostril and out the other.. cleansing the whole deal.

 

im not particulary good at this one myself, but see if you can get your eyebrows a little under control.. at least trim the ones the make you look like a wizard and try to leave a little gap between the two of them as to not rock the unibrow. like i said.. .. this could be my problem more than yours, just thinking of everything i can.

 

okay.. what else.. how about a new haircut? whats great about hair is that it grows back! try out some new stuff.. maybe just go to the haircuttery and say.. what do you think would look good? ive had some great haircuts doing this.. good looking hair IS their job.. but of course it doesnt always work. i personally would recommend against gel and products.. try to work with what's naturally there. if you find a good style thats just you.. it can work for a long time. also, experiment with different shampoos and conditioners to see what brings out the best in your hair.. sounds silly, but hey.

 

new clothes are always great, but take care to find stuff that really fits. money does not equal good when it comes to clothes. it took me over 20 years to finally find a cut of jeans that fit my body right. (levi 550, in case anyone was wondering:)) they look good, and their comfy.. that's important. shirts too.. some brands will fit your body better and therefore will look and feel better..

 

..the key with all of this is to find what works for YOU.

 

Does playing hard to get or mysterious stranger work any?

 

ah yes, the "mysterious stranger".. sure it does, but there's one key thing.. its not playing hard to get.. or playing mysterious stranger.. its actually being those things. first.. playing hard to get.. people that have alot of self love are kind of hard to get.. they cant be manipulated as easy, and try to gravtitate towards people that are good for them. whatever, just my theory on it..

 

as far as being "mysterious".. i feel like i have a better understanding of this one. the key with that is to have a life outside of wherever you happen to be at the current moment. this mean, making the effort to get out to see concerts of bands that you like.. seeing movies that sparked your interest.. participating in a sport that you like.. really, if you are involved in the interesting things you care about outside of women, you will put off that vibe. now, that might include taking some chances if your not used to getting out there. it could also mean following some dreams that are out of your comfort zone.. ex. learning to play guitar, or dancing all night at a club.. i dont know.. its your dream.

[purgatori]

I have to disagree. I've witnessed with my own 2 eyes asocial or morons getting women all over them simply because they are good looking/tall/wealthy. If you are a very good looking and tall guy women will force you to socialize.

 

That's right. Jerks, morons, and simpletons have no trouble attracting women, so long as they possess sufficient physical capacity and social status to meet the requirements of the women in question. We'd like to think that our consciousness is us, and that makes us free agents, but we are our the sum total of our biology -- nothing more. Regardless of how we may dress it up, our mate preferences have not changed much since we lived the tooth-and-nail existence of primitive cave-dwellers, and so women still look for men who are well-suited to hunting, material provision, intrasexual competition, etc. and men still look for women of maximal fertility. All the cliches, euphemisms, and delusions in the world won't change that.

[Peaceful Guy]

That's right. Jerks, morons, and simpletons have no trouble attracting women, so long as they possess sufficient physical capacity and social status to meet the requirements of the women in question. We'd like to think that our consciousness is us, and that makes us free agents, but we are our the sum total of our biology -- nothing more. Regardless of how we may dress it up, our mate preferences have not changed much since we lived the tooth-and-nail existence of primitive cave-dwellers, and so women still look for men who are well-suited to hunting, material provision, intrasexual competition, etc. and men still look for women of maximal fertility. All the cliches, euphemisms, and delusions in the world won't change that.

 

ah, you biologists like to define the world by how you see it.. youre as bad as the christian conservatives sometimes.. you know? just cause you see something some way doesn't mean its an absolute truth.. wish i could help you out of your bubble but from experience talking with you guys i know its not likely.. like for instance, how you probably think what i just said is b.s.. oh well, off to carry out my programming!

 

p.s. "bubble but".. hur hur hur

[purgatori]

ah, you biologists like to define the world by how you see it.. youre as bad as the christian conservatives sometimes.. you know? just cause you see something some way doesn't mean its an absolute truth.. wish i could help you out of your bubble but from experience talking with you guys i know its not likely.. like for instance, how you probably think what i just said is b.s.. oh well, off to carry out my programming!

 

p.s. "bubble but".. hur hur hur

 

There is no 'absolute truth' in science, and no scientist/biologist would lay claim to it. There is only evidence, and the hypotheses that it does or does not support.

[Awesome Username]

I am a normal guy, i work at a store where young girls come by and they don't really seem to give me much attention.

 

I'm not particularly ugly, or weird, or anything, i can be quite charming and funny if you give me a shot. My only problem is i am rather short at 5'7 and am slim as well, I know this is a huge sexual/physical turn off for most women.

 

Is there anything I can do to make me more physically attractive? I am already working out, but anything else? I know that physical looks come second to personality, but come on, looks get the foot in the door and if you dont have a physical attractiveness to women they will never be around you long enough to see your personality. This has been my experience all my life so I have been rather anti-social due to it (rather be anti-social than somebodys cuddle bitch).

 

Other than being rich or getting taller, what can increase my value in the eyes of women (outside of "confidencE" and the rest of the cliches) in your experience? Does playing hard to get or mysterious stranger work any?

 

Call me strange, but I don't really think that 5'7 is that short. I think that people that are 6 feet tall are really tall. Robert Downey Junior is 5'7, and if I had a half hour with him I'd die happy. rofl.

 

Cognac, if you look angry all the time that could stop women from approaching you. Do you come off as angry?

[purgatori]

Cognac, if you look angry all the time that could stop women from approaching you. Do you come off as angry?

 

Because this has really harmed Jason Stratham's sex-life. The guy looks like like a violent wharf-thug and women are gaga over him, so this nonsense about anger/violence/hostility being off-putting to women is, well... nonsense.

[Peaceful Guy]

There is no 'absolute truth' in science, and no scientist/biologist would lay claim to it. There is only evidence, and the hypotheses that it does or does not support.

 

 

um, excuse me, then what the **** do you call this?..

 

"Jerks, morons, and simpletons have no trouble attracting women, so long as they possess sufficient physical capacity and social status to meet the requirements of the women in question. We'd like to think that our consciousness is us, and that makes us free agents, but we are our the sum total of our biology -- nothing more. Regardless of how we may dress it up, our mate preferences have not changed much since we lived the tooth-and-nail existence of primitive cave-dwellers"

 

..you know what, have fun being miserable!

[Peaceful Guy]

Call me strange, but I don't really think that 5'7 is that short. I think that people that are 6 feet tall are really tall. Robert Downey Junior is 5'7, and if I had a half hour with him I'd die happy. rofl.

 

i was thinking about that too.. not robert.. .. but that people want someone thats A GOOD FIT.. for them.. and nobody's one size fits all.. really.. there are lots of hot girls that would be TOO tall for me.. but they wouldn't be TOO tall for someone that's taller than me.. i wish we had brought this up earlier in the thread.. it hadn't occurred to me like that though. also, 5'7"s not even short at all!!!

 

p.s. purgatori, you've got a real malicious vibe..

Edited December 10, 2009 by Peaceful Guy

[Leonard]

My only problem is i am rather short at 5'7 and am slim as well, I know this is a huge sexual/physical turn off for most women.

 

 

I'm 5'2.

 

I sometimes get approached and hit on by some women much taller than me. So I never understood why people always think height is some sort of factor in this.