I'm a fool.

[gwennebe]

Ok, I am so stupid. I know I am. For everyone that read my last post you know what a creep my ex is and that it would be best to leave it be but I just can't. I don't know why. I guess I'm struggling with the thoughts of how he can just change his mind withing 2 weeks and start dating someone he said he wasn't interested in before. I have talked to him and he says it isn't serious, he isn't sure he likes her and they have only went out on one date which of course was the day of my grandma's funeral, 2 days after he broke up with me and physically hurt me.

 

I have talked to his friends(they called me) and they don't understand how he's thinking or why he likes this girl because she just doesn't have all the good qualities I have. I think maybe I intimidate him and he's more comfortable with a girl that doesn't have as much wordly experience as I. He won't go out except to 2 bars. I think it's because he's so insecure of himself. Which I don't know why he is in the Army and has been in 2 different countries.

 

I asked him if he still missed me and he said he still thinks about me and I know he's been checking his email to see if I write him and he always calls me back if I for some chance leave a message. Anyway, last night they were at the local bar which he always goes to, and they were there together although they didnt plan to be. She was there with her dad which everyone finds a little strange. She always hangs out at bars with her dad.

 

His friend has been keeping me up to date on what's going on with them. He said that they were holding hands, rubbing each other on the small of the back and then she left with her dad not him. Well I talked to him last night and he said that isn't true. There is no way he would be acting like that with her dad around. I don't know who to believe becasue I think his friend likes me.

 

The reason I wanted to talk to him is because I wanted to try to remain friends don't ask me why I guess I'm just too nice of a person and I forgive to easily. I believe in Karma greatly. I was very confused talking to him because I think he's hiding how he really feels. I think he is still unsure of how he feels. You'd think if he really liked her he would just come out and say it because he knows I would totally just stay away from him completely. I almost think he wants me to beg for him to come back. He acted like I should have put more effort into us seeing each other this past week or something. I feel like subconsciously he wants us to see each other and hang out but he is afraid because I think he felt so much for me he was afraid of getting extremely hurt and he feels safe with her.

 

If he really cared about me though, why would he turn into such a cold hearted freak? I went out last night with my cousin and met a nice guy. Well he seems nice but of course he's a construction worker out of state and will only be here for a few weeks. He said he would like to take me out to dinner and show me a nice time but I have such a hard time trusting guys anymore because you never know if they are lieing or not that I almost don't want to. What I am thinking about doing though is going out to dinner( meeting him somewhere of course just to be safe) and I would love to go down to that bar with him and if I see my ex and his new "girl" pleasantly say hi with a big smile on my face, have one drink and leave. I don't want everyone around here to think I'm broken hearted over this redneck. (It's a very small town) I think I would feel better about everything and then I would know that no one is talking **** on me about this.

 

This probably sound crazy to everyone and I'm sorry but I'm just at the end of my rope trying to figure out what to do next. So if anyone thinks they understand any of this please tell me what you think is best. Thanks.

[moimeme]

they don't understand how he's thinking or why he likes this girl because she just doesn't have all the good qualities I have.

 

That's why they are your friends and not hers. Your good qualities may not be the qualities he's looking for - it's simple as that.

 

I wanted to try to remain friends don't ask me why I guess I'm just too nice of a person and I forgive to easily.

 

The end of that sentence answers the beginning of the sentence.

 

If he really cared about me though, why would he turn into such a cold hearted freak?

 

From what you wrote earlier, he was pretty coldhearted all along.

What I am thinking about doing though is going out to dinner( meeting him somewhere of course just to be safe) and I would love to go down to that bar with him and if I see my ex and his new "girl" pleasantly say hi with a big smile on my face, have one drink and leave.

 

Not very nice to use a new guy to spite the old one, is it?

 

I don't want everyone around here to think I'm broken hearted over this redneck. (It's a very small town) I think I would feel better about everything and then I would know that no one is talking **** on me about this.

 

Why even care what they are thinking or saying? They probably aren't thinking about you at all, anyway. People have other things to do with their lives than dwell on other people like you.

 

Just move on. Don't go out with construction guy unless you actually like him. Forget the coldhearted one.