Author Lauriebell82 Posted October 19, 2009 Author Share Posted October 19, 2009 What about your contract when you started? Hmm, I don't know... Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 LB - it sounds like you got fired because you were overall unprofessional. Spending hours on the internet is never something an employer will encourage of it's staff, and the comments they made about your dress, demeanor, etc., all have to be taken with some degree of truth. You are young, new to the work world, and it just sounds like overall you weren't behaving professionally, and ultimately, they felt you didn't fit in. I would definitely list the last job you were at, BUT, I would definitely NOT list your bosses as your reference. Ask a former co-worker who liked you to vouch for your job performance. And FWIW, Tom Peters says if you haven't been fired at least once in your career, then you weren't taking any risks. I got fired from a job in my early 20's, and it was devastating. Much like you, I was never really given a reason, but I did also feel my boss didn't like me. Years later, I can be honest and admit I wasn't always the most professional employee. I attribute it to being young and stupid, but if was definitely an eye-opener. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted October 20, 2009 Author Share Posted October 20, 2009 So my interview yesterday went well. The salary is in the 40 Ks!!!! It was more like a screening interview though, someone interviewed me from HR and wrote down all my responses. Someone else from HR will read the responses and have the final say though. They asked me if I was still employed and said no, and she moved on and didn't ask anything else about the job. Who knows? I haven't heard back from the other job, my old coworker told me that nobody ever called her about a reference either. They are probably doing my child abuse clearance and criminal history check, they are required about care about that before checking references. They may not check them at all, however I'm not going to bank on that. So I got a good shot at both these jobs, we will just have to see... Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 Your fiance is out of line - don't let him make you feel bad! This is a bad economic crisis and people can go months without finding something - you're out there motivated, constantly looking for something so what the heck is he complaining about? You;ll be fine and you'll find something soon, and good on you for being so proactive. Doesn't your fiance know the job hunt and being out of work is really hard on you and that this is the time that he should be building you up, not stressing you out? This stuff is peanuts compared to the real stresses that a couple will go through in their life, and sheesh, if he can't even be supportive over something like this..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted October 20, 2009 Author Share Posted October 20, 2009 Your fiance is out of line - don't let him make you feel bad! This is a bad economic crisis and people can go months without finding something - you're out there motivated, constantly looking for something so what the heck is he complaining about? You'll be fine and you'll find something soon, and good on you for being so proactive. Doesn't your fiance know the job hunt and being out of work is really hard on you and that this is the time that he should be building you up, not stressing you out? This stuff is peanuts compared to the real stresses that a couple will go through in their life, and sheesh, if he can't even be supportive over something like this..... Well he was really supportive for awhile, but I think he is getting frustrated that I can't find anything. He has been trying as of lately to try and calm down about the whole thing. He said if I don't get either job it's okay, that I will find something...but then he turns around and gets frustrated when I get turned down. He says he wants to buy a house, which I understand, but there isn't anything more I can do about it at this point. He has been very supportive regarding the finances, he is happy to be supporting both of us financially and we are not hurting for money which is good. I'm not excusing his behavior though... I honestly don't know what the deal is with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 is he not being very supportive LB? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted October 20, 2009 Author Share Posted October 20, 2009 is he not being very supportive LB? Well, he is, but I think we are both getting frustrated over the whole thing. I'm sick of being unemployed and lately I've been having breakdowns and crying fits over the whole thing. He hates drama so seeing me like that frustrates him I guess. But then he turns around and says that it's okay if I don't get the job. Mixed messages. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 Your b/f enjoys routine and a set plan for timing. If something shakes up the plan, he gets uncomfortable. In essence, he's a bit of a control freak. My fingers are crossed for these two opportunities. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 I think he just cant cope with your moods (typical man lol) To me he is sounding supportive as he is taking the pressure off of you when you dont get a job, it would be far worse if he refused to give you money and moaned about you not working all the time! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted October 20, 2009 Author Share Posted October 20, 2009 Your b/f enjoys routine and a set plan for timing. If something shakes up the plan, he gets uncomfortable. In essence, he's a bit of a control freak. My fingers are crossed for these two opportunities. Good luck! Yep! To his credit though, he HAS really tried to be supportive and understanding about the whole thing. His little control freakish behavior comes out when he's stressed though. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 I think he just cant cope with your moods (typical man lol) I agree....seriously. He wants life to be stable again. He wants you to be happy again. He wants HIS life to be normal again. That is why he wants you to either get a job or forget looking for a job. Just be his normal LB. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted October 20, 2009 Author Share Posted October 20, 2009 I agree....seriously. He wants life to be stable again. He wants you to be happy again. He wants HIS life to be normal again. That is why he wants you to either get a job or forget looking for a job. Just be his normal LB. Yeah, you are probably right. He said he hates to see me this upset. He has been WONDERFUL about money and supporting us..which is such a relief because that's less stress. Thank goodness he makes enough to support us! Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 Yeah but- its not been "abnormal" for THAT long, and he needs to be able to handle the odd curve ball now and again. That said, it sounds like the more positive and confident you are about it, the easier it will be for him to handle it. (easier said than done!) Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Cupcakes Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 Well, this may be a blessing in disguise. If he makes enough to support you, then why not get married soon and have the baby? That would be best for the baby and the marriage, not having you work. Why not truly enjoy married life? There is no reason for stress here it seems - your fiance makes plenty and if he loves you, he will enjoy having you be a stay at home mom. I mean, who wouldn't want that? there are so many women who would love to be in your position right now. You are in a position where you do not HAVE to work! You have a wonderful fiance who is the man and makes the money, like he should! I think this setback is life's way of telling you 'Hey, you are lucky. Get married and start your real life!" Seriously. This is a great thing. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 I don't think LB wants to be a SAHM just yet- the wedding isn't till next year. Shes only 26, there is no hurry for babies JUST yet. In some careers, its not a good thing to take extended time (like maternity leave) out at the beginning of your career before its fully established, as it will put her even MORE on the back foot when she decides to return to work- not only will she have this current hurdle to overcome, she will also be a year or two behind the times in her chosen field. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted October 21, 2009 Author Share Posted October 21, 2009 Well, this may be a blessing in disguise. If he makes enough to support you, then why not get married soon and have the baby? That would be best for the baby and the marriage, not having you work. Why not truly enjoy married life? There is no reason for stress here it seems - your fiance makes plenty and if he loves you, he will enjoy having you be a stay at home mom. I mean, who wouldn't want that? there are so many women who would love to be in your position right now. You are in a position where you do not HAVE to work! You have a wonderful fiance who is the man and makes the money, like he should! I think this setback is life's way of telling you 'Hey, you are lucky. Get married and start your real life!" Seriously. This is a great thing. Well, we are not getting married for 11 months and have put down non refundable deposits. Also, I'm not pregnant and we don't plan on having kids for at least 3 or 4 more years. I do plan on taking some time off once I have children but I want to have quite a bit of experience prior to it. Now is the time for me to work and I truley want to!! Being a housewife is just not for me... Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Cupcakes Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 I think you should reconsider. Fertility doctors will even tell you to have a baby as soon as you've met the right man. Your age is perfect to start a family. I think you are feeling pressured because you have a Masters and from your fiance that you having a career is expected. Take those expectations off.....and you can be the stay at home wife and Mom. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted October 21, 2009 Author Share Posted October 21, 2009 (edited) I think you should reconsider. Fertility doctors will even tell you to have a baby as soon as you've met the right man. Your age is perfect to start a family. I think you are feeling pressured because you have a Masters and from your fiance that you having a career is expected. Take those expectations off.....and you can be the stay at home wife and Mom. I'm not ready to have kids and be a mom just yet. My fiance and I agree that we want to be married for a few years before we begin trying. I actual WANT a career, I wouldn't have spent so long in school if I didn't. I think he's just putting pressure because he wants to buy a house and while we have enough money to support ourselves right now, we will need my income to buy a house. Neither of us want to raise children in an apartment. Oh also, I can't get pregnant for 1-2 years because of my birth control... Edited October 21, 2009 by Lauriebell82 Link to post Share on other sites
TwinkletOes26 Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 PC im 27 and not married and i have no intention of having a child yes i only want one until im in my 30s if i have to go to a fertility dr then so be it. I have no intentions of having a child until im good and dern ready. I am all for a person waiting until they are ready. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 I think you should reconsider. Fertility doctors will even tell you to have a baby as soon as you've met the right man. Your age is perfect to start a family. I think you are feeling pressured because you have a Masters and from your fiance that you having a career is expected. Take those expectations off.....and you can be the stay at home wife and Mom. Oh what a pile of....... Thankfully LB has her own mind on this matter. Her career and when she becomes a parent is HER business. LB- I have a great career and I got pregnant the first time I tried at the age of 31, without any fertility doctors wisdom. I have no intention of being a full time SAHM, and I don't give a monkeys what anyone else thinks of that, my H and I work out whats best for US and you and your fiance will do the same. Link to post Share on other sites
TwinkletOes26 Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 SB i HEART U :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Cupcakes Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 It's not a load of crap - I think she is just feeling pressure that she is SUPPOSED to get a job when the alternative hasn't been considered. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 Where has she said that, exactly? And she hasn't mentioned any alternatives, because to her, there isn't an alternative. LB has NEVER mentioned getting pregnant as an alternative to getting a job. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted October 21, 2009 Author Share Posted October 21, 2009 It's not a load of crap - I think she is just feeling pressure that she is SUPPOSED to get a job when the alternative hasn't been considered. I'm not SUPPOSED to get a job, well I am, but I actually want to. I worked my butt off in grad school, I want to put my Masters degree to use! Also, like sb said, there isn't an alternative. I have never even considered having a baby right now. My fiance is not ready to be a parent and I am on depo provera so I can't get pregnant for a year 1/2-2 years anyway. I appreciate your input, but really I do not want to have a baby right now, I want to work! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted November 2, 2009 Author Share Posted November 2, 2009 I called the job I interviewed for a few weeks ago last Wednesday. They said the were checking my references and would get back to me. I haven't heard anything. :( Fiance is trying to convince me to take my job off my resume. I don't think that's a good idea and we keep arguing over it. This sucks. I am so miserable right now, I feel like I'm going to go CRAZY!!! Any advice??? Link to post Share on other sites
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