My MM that I lived with called the cops on me

[Dexter Morgan]

My children are teenagers, and knew exactly where I lived with the xMM. they were there with me for a couple of weeks before school started. My 21 year old son, who is in the army visited me there also. All of my children knew what I wanted.

 

wow, forget what I said about custody for your husband...even his own children betrayed him.

 

boy do I feel for this guy.

[stillafool]

OP you never did say what led up to MM having to call the police on you. Why?

[loriP]

OP you never did say what led up to MM having to call the police on you. Why?

I have zero clue on that. He was very angry that I moved all my things out of the apartment only 1 month into the lease, and that I told my H where the apatment was and that my H was in his apartment. he always told me that if he left his wife and rented an apartment and I left him he would be pissed, but I never imagined that he would try and get me in trouble with the law. He did not press any charges, just had the police tell me to not contact him in any way. i went to the police and showed them that I was the one refusing his calls and ignoring him. The investigator told me that they were going to call him and tell him that he may be charged with making a false report, and not to contact me either. I really did not want them to do that, because as it stands now neither of us can contact each other at all.

[loriP]

I have zero clue on that. He was very angry that I moved all my things out of the apartment only 1 month into the lease, and that I told my H where the apatment was and that my H was in his apartment. he always told me that if he left his wife and rented an apartment and I left him he would be pissed, but I never imagined that he would try and get me in trouble with the law. He did not press any charges, just had the police tell me to not contact him in any way. i went to the police and showed them that I was the one refusing his calls and ignoring him. The investigator told me that they were going to call him and tell him that he may be charged with making a false report, and not to contact me either. I really did not want them to do that, because as it stands now neither of us can contact each other at all.

I'm coming out of the fog more and more each day. I feel I made the right decision, but I do miss him and still love him, and feel like I am going to regret not staying with him. I am sad.

[stillafool]

I have zero clue on that. He was very angry that I moved all my things out of the apartment only 1 month into the lease, and that I told my H where the apatment was and that my H was in his apartment. he always told me that if he left his wife and rented an apartment and I left him he would be pissed, but I never imagined that he would try and get me in trouble with the law. He did not press any charges, just had the police tell me to not contact him in any way. i went to the police and showed them that I was the one refusing his calls and ignoring him. The investigator told me that they were going to call him and tell him that he may be charged with making a false report, and not to contact me either. I really did not want them to do that, because as it stands now neither of us can contact each other at all.

 

 

Maybe he called the law because he was afraid your H might come over to the apartment and cause him trouble.

[MSUE]

Maybe he called the law because he was afraid your H might come over to the apartment and cause him trouble.

 

 

you know what...this actually makes a lot of sense...finally something makes some sort of sense in this thread

[RedDevil66]

There is a whole lot of Jerry Springer going on in here, but not sure if it's coming more from the other posters than the OP.

 

Listen, humans are broken. We all mess up. We all have our strengths and weanesses. Judging others is sort of funny since maybe some of you "perfect" people who are lashing out at the OP SUCK at certain things where the OP excels at.

 

So she left her kids to be with some other guy. Yeah it was stupid and people do stupid cr*p all the time.

She didn't set them on fire or drive them into a lake.

 

She is caught (or was caught up) in lifes mish mash of drama.

 

By the way JJ, you sound like a calm and cool lady with some sense of reality and I would have no problem you being my Mom.

 

OP, I'm glad you're getting over this mess. Love makes us do crazy things. Live and learn. You're not a failure when you fall, you're a failure when you don't learn the lesson and fail over and over.

 

This dude sounds like a typical cheater. Most cheating men have the same MO.

 

Also, maybe get some therapy to learn how to focus on why you keep looking for outside love and not inner love

All the best and big hug

[fooled once]

There is a whole lot of Jerry Springer going on in here, but not sure if it's coming more from the other posters than the OP.

 

Listen, humans are broken. We all mess up. We all have our strengths and weanesses. Judging others is sort of funny since maybe some of you "perfect" people who are lashing out at the OP SUCK at certain things where the OP excels at.

 

So she left her kids to be with some other guy. Yeah it was stupid and people do stupid cr*p all the time.

She didn't set them on fire or drive them into a lake.

 

She is caught (or was caught up) in lifes mish mash of drama.

 

By the way JJ, you sound like a calm and cool lady with some sense of reality and I would have no problem you being my Mom.

 

OP, I'm glad you're getting over this mess. Love makes us do crazy things. Live and learn. You're not a failure when you fall, you're a failure when you don't learn the lesson and fail over and over.

 

This dude sounds like a typical cheater. Most cheating men have the same MO.

 

Also, maybe get some therapy to learn how to focus on why you keep looking for outside love and not inner love

All the best and big hug

 

 

Not a single person claimed to be perfect. Some of us mothers have different priorities than the OP.

 

Every single person judges people. NO human is infallible nor is anyone perfect. Hopefully, people LEARN from mistakes. Those are the best lessons in life

[loriP]

There is a whole lot of Jerry Springer going on in here, but not sure if it's coming more from the other posters than the OP.

 

Listen, humans are broken. We all mess up. We all have our strengths and weanesses. Judging others is sort of funny since maybe some of you "perfect" people who are lashing out at the OP SUCK at certain things where the OP excels at.

 

So she left her kids to be with some other guy. Yeah it was stupid and people do stupid cr*p all the time.

She didn't set them on fire or drive them into a lake.

 

She is caught (or was caught up) in lifes mish mash of drama.

 

By the way JJ, you sound like a calm and cool lady with some sense of reality and I would have no problem you being my Mom.

 

OP, I'm glad you're getting over this mess. Love makes us do crazy things. Live and learn. You're not a failure when you fall, you're a failure when you don't learn the lesson and fail over and over.

 

This dude sounds like a typical cheater. Most cheating men have the same MO.

 

Also, maybe get some therapy to learn how to focus on why you keep looking for outside love and not inner love

All the best and big hug

Thanks. Would you say that he was completely lying to me the whole time or did he return to his wife because of my actions ( moving out) In your opinion do most MM take a lease on an apartment for a year with not being in love with the OW.

[Chrome Barracuda]

So are you in the middle of divorce or what? Your still so hooked on the OM, even after he called the cops on you to have you arrested.

 

your kids were' complacent and accomplises in your adultery. and what do they even have to say about the situation. The OM aint there anymore and he done threw you under the bus, Your husband is probably pissed off to no end.

 

Are you seperating? or what? because aint no man should tolerate that type of disrespect.

 

What kind of woman are you???

 

Have you scheduled an IC to figure out why are you involving yourself in self destructive behavior?

[carhill]

In your opinion do most MM take a lease on an apartment for a year with not being in love with the OW.

In a similar case I'm aware of, the MM did live with the OW in such a domicile for a period, then returned home. Mostly, it was apparently to retain control of the 'family' and his investment in their family business. He and his wife ultimately divorced and the OW died of unrelated circumstances. My understanding is that they professed to be soulmates. The MM was the H of the female friend I write about in my journals.

 

With a certain personality type in a male, the pull of family (children) and property (his life work) can be strong, stronger than an emotional bond with another. Don't know if that was a factor here (in the OP).

[loriP]

So are you in the middle of divorce or what? Your still so hooked on the OM, even after he called the cops on you to have you arrested.

 

your kids were' complacent and accomplises in your adultery. and what do they even have to say about the situation. The OM aint there anymore and he done threw you under the bus, Your husband is probably pissed off to no end.

 

Are you seperating? or what? because aint no man should tolerate that type of disrespect.

 

What kind of woman are you???

 

Have you scheduled an IC to figure out why are you involving yourself in self destructive behavior?

I told the H complete truth..whole truth..not pissed just very depressed..I told him I was in love with the MM and I also told my H that I have no passion for him. I had told my H how I felt about him for years, and thought about divorce for along time before meting my xMM. I don't feel like I can gethe passion back for H. It was gone before I met my xMM. And I still feel the exact same way about him. Sorry that is just the truth. I'm tired of not making me happy in life. I made a mistake all the way around, and at this point I believe I should have stayed with my MM. I am a good woman and wife..always have been..never have had any other affairs. I don't feel like my relationship with my xMM was typical compared to what I have read on here. I had him but left him. I have been a mother for 25 years, and don't plan on quitting that role.

[RedDevil66]

Thanks. Would you say that he was completely lying to me the whole time or did he return to his wife because of my actions ( moving out) In your opinion do most MM take a lease on an apartment for a year with not being in love with the OW.

 

well look at it this way, the affiar itself was all about lying. Was he lying to you the whole time? Not sure, but even one lie is enough.

 

Who knows why he returned to his wife, but most men return to their wives after an affair because they got what they wanted and don't want to make great change

Trust me, if most people could have their cake and eat it too, they would.

He had the best of both worlds for a while and decided it was enough.

 

Affairs are messy business. No one ever wins! Even if the spouse leaves for their other person, the relationship is based on lies and deception.

[Chrome Barracuda]

I told the H complete truth..whole truth..not pissed just very depressed..I told him I was in love with the MM and I also told my H that I have no passion for him. I had told my H how I felt about him for years, and thought about divorce for along time before meting my xMM. I don't feel like I can gethe passion back for H. It was gone before I met my xMM. And I still feel the exact same way about him. Sorry that is just the truth. I'm tired of not making me happy in life. I made a mistake all the way around, and at this point I believe I should have stayed with my MM. I am a good woman and wife..always have been..never have had any other affairs. I don't feel like my relationship with my xMM was typical compared to what I have read on here. I had him but left him. I have been a mother for 25 years, and don't plan on quitting that role.

 

WRONG!!!!

 

Good women do not involved their children in todry affairs, Good women do not blatantly tell their husbands, their F-ing someone else and move out to a brand new apartment with the MM, Good women do not hurt other peoples families by being the side chick that destroyed their mom's and dad's marriage!!!

 

Bottom line is you talk a good game, but why dont you just file for divorce. I mean wouldnt that be easier than cheating, lying, deceiving, hurting, emotionally abusing. Dont you see your hurting the one's that love you?

 

And also what do your kids have to say about the OM now, where is that white knight now??? You say you should have stayed with your MM? but you didnt have a choice he threw you under the damn bus, your still in denial about that, and let me guess you returned home.

 

Lady you are a piece of work, Your husband is not the one with the issues YOU are. Your screwed up in the head and you need counciling to figure out why you have done so many dangerous things, What would have happened if the MM became abusive? started beating you, you think your H or kids would have come to your rescue. why are you putting yourself in this situation anyways? If your happiness is so paramount to anyone else. Do the right thing by your husband Divorce him! so he can find a FAITHFUL woman who would become his WIFE. because you dont have any remorse for your actions.

 

And If I was him I would have kicked all of you out! lol... Aint no time for being depressed.

[RedDevil66]

 

Not a single person claimed to be perfect. Some of us mothers have different priorities than the OP.

 

Every single person judges people. NO human is infallible nor is anyone perfect. Hopefully, people LEARN from mistakes. Those are the best lessons in life

 

Sure they did.........re-read. Parenting comes in many forms.

It's ok to have different priorities from other mother's, but one doesn't have to BASH the other's for acting differently.

 

Like I said, she didn't murder her kids, she lost her way, fell in love and screwed up. Even if her kids were young, so what, people are people are people.

[RedDevil66]

WRONG!!!!

 

Good women do not involved their children in todry affairs, Good women do not blatantly tell their husbands, their F-ing someone else and move out to a brand new apartment with the MM, Good women do not hurt other peoples families by being the side chick that destroyed their mom's and dad's marriage!!!

 

Bottom line is you talk a good game, but why dont you just file for divorce. I mean wouldnt that be easier than cheating, lying, deceiving, hurting, emotionally abusing. Dont you see your hurting the one's that love you?

 

And also what do your kids have to say about the OM now, where is that white knight now??? You say you should have stayed with your MM? but you didnt have a choice he threw you under the damn bus, your still in denial about that, and let me guess you returned home.

 

Lady you are a piece of work, Your husband is not the one with the issues YOU are. Your screwed up in the head and you need counciling to figure out why you have done so many dangerous things, What would have happened if the MM became abusive? started beating you, you think your H or kids would have come to your rescue. why are you putting yourself in this situation anyways? If your happiness is so paramount to anyone else. Do the right thing by your husband Divorce him! so he can find a FAITHFUL woman who would become his WIFE. because you dont have any remorse for your actions.

 

And If I was him I would have kicked all of you out! lol... Aint no time for being depressed.

 

when people are hurt, lost and confused, they rarely do the right thing.

You're being harsh to someone who is asking for help and being brave enough to share her story.

 

Compassion goes a long way

[loriP]

WRONG!!!!

 

Good women do not involved their children in todry affairs, Good women do not blatantly tell their husbands, their F-ing someone else and move out to a brand new apartment with the MM, Good women do not hurt other peoples families by being the side chick that destroyed their mom's and dad's marriage!!!

 

Bottom line is you talk a good game, but why dont you just file for divorce. I mean wouldnt that be easier than cheating, lying, deceiving, hurting, emotionally abusing. Dont you see your hurting the one's that love you?

 

And also what do your kids have to say about the OM now, where is that white knight now??? You say you should have stayed with your MM? but you didnt have a choice he threw you under the damn bus, your still in denial about that, and let me guess you returned home.

 

Lady you are a piece of work, Your husband is not the one with the issues YOU are. Your screwed up in the head and you need counciling to figure out why you have done so many dangerous things, What would have happened if the MM became abusive? started beating you, you think your H or kids would have come to your rescue. why are you putting yourself in this situation anyways? If your happiness is so paramount to anyone else. Do the right thing by your husband Divorce him! so he can find a FAITHFUL woman who would become his WIFE. because you dont have any remorse for your actions.

 

And If I was him I would have kicked all of you out! lol... Aint no time for being depressed.

Wrong again. I left on my own, and came back home on my own. Sorry to tell you, but I usually get what I want in life. Most women I know do not have the life I have.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Wrong again. I left on my own, and came back home on my own. Sorry to tell you, but I usually get what I want in life. Most women I know do not have the life I have.

 

LMAO!!!!

 

Really? So you wanted the OM, and where is he now?

 

Ooooops he's back with his wife. So you really didnt win did you?

 

And reddevil is talking about compassion? this woman has none for others why would I have it for her? The only thing she cares about is herself. And this post proves it.

 

Goodbye!

[RedDevil66]

LMAO!!!!

 

Really? So you wanted the OM, and where is he now?

 

Ooooops he's back with his wife. So you really didnt win did you?

 

And reddevil is talking about compassion? this woman has none for others why would I have it for her? The only thing she cares about is herself. And this post proves it.

 

Goodbye!

 

my tail is not red :-)

Compassion doesn't have to be about agreeing with actions, it's more about trying to understand why/how a person is functioning or coming from

 

She may only care about herself, but people can see the "light" if there is compassion and not bashing. You bash, they retreat, you show compassion, they move towards.

Law of nature. People never take advice and learn from a place of anger.

If we all want to "teach" the OP a thing or two, she is more apt to listen to reason and not agression.

[Chrome Barracuda]

...This woman will never be out of the fog....

 

No compassion is needed for someone who is self destructive. Enabling Is something I do not do...

 

You cannot play the middle on a situation that is 100% wrong. You cannot see innosence in the act of full guilty. I'm sorry.

 

But it is what it is...

 

I'd have compassion for her husband and the OMW. because they are married to two of the most egotistical, selfish A******* in creation...

 

I really dont see how I can sympathize with a mother who does that to her kids. and then think it's okay. I'm not giving her the green light for it. I cant and I wont.

 

She's a human being she can make her own choices and decisions, she needs to be a grown woman about it and accept the consequences of her actions. instead of treating life like one big damn candy store.

[jennie-jennie]

By the way JJ, you sound like a calm and cool lady with some sense of reality and I would have no problem you being my Mom.

 

Thank you, Red Devil, that really warmed my heart!

[jennie-jennie]

Thanks. Would you say that he was completely lying to me the whole time or did he return to his wife because of my actions ( moving out) In your opinion do most MM take a lease on an apartment for a year with not being in love with the OW.

 

In a similar case I'm aware of, the MM did live with the OW in such a domicile for a period, then returned home. Mostly, it was apparently to retain control of the 'family' and his investment in their family business. He and his wife ultimately divorced and the OW died of unrelated circumstances. My understanding is that they professed to be soulmates. The MM was the H of the female friend I write about in my journals.

 

With a certain personality type in a male, the pull of family (children) and property (his life work) can be strong, stronger than an emotional bond with another. Don't know if that was a factor here (in the OP).

 

What Carhill posted here is very important. It shows that you can not judge if a MM loves you by his actions alone. Could it be that your MM has this personality type?

 

I believe that if you ask yourself you know already the answer to whether your MM was/is in love with you or not. I certainly know that my MM loves me. I don't know if he will ultimately stay with his family or not, but I know without any doubt that he truly loves me.

[loriP]

What Carhill posted here is very important. It shows that you can not judge if a MM loves you by his actions alone. Could it be that your MM has this personality type?

 

I believe that if you ask yourself you know already the answer to whether your MM was/is in love with you or not. I certainly know that my MM loves me. I don't know if he will ultimately stay with his family or not, but I know without any doubt that he truly loves me.

I am sure he loves me too. One of the last things he kept saying over and over was that my H got me back.

[jennie-jennie]

I am sure he loves me too. One of the last things he kept saying over and over was that my H got me back.

 

I am so happy for you. You know what they say: Better having loved and lost, than never having loved at all.

[stillafool]

my tail is not red :-)

Compassion doesn't have to be about agreeing with actions, it's more about trying to understand why/how a person is functioning or coming from

 

She may only care about herself, but people can see the "light" if there is compassion and not bashing. You bash, they retreat, you show compassion, they move towards.

Law of nature. People never take advice and learn from a place of anger.

If we all want to "teach" the OP a thing or two, she is more apt to listen to reason and not agression.

 

 

I don't think this board is here to give out "compassion" to every sorry a$$ story that comes through here. This is an open board for people to give their opinions and if one doesn't like what the other is saying then put them on ignore. But to tell everyone to be compassionate to people who obviously only care about themselves is unrealistic nor helpful. There have been people who have come here with really "obscene" stories and their friends and family don't dare tell them the real truth about themselves for fear of hurting their feelings. At least they can get the "rock bottom" truth about what people really think of their behavior and believe it or not it has opened many a cheater's eye on this forum. When I ask anyone for advice I don't want some sugar coated bullS--T, I want people to tell me like it is!