My MM that I lived with called the cops on me

[whatisgoingon]

I'm just asking, I could'nt believe he said it would be a bonus!

 

That is alittle strange to me to say that, as much as I dislike someone, I would not wish that on anyone. My XMM is back with his wife she "changed" for a week or two, that is it, I am still in NC with him but I have heard from mutual friends that he is STILL not happy, but my theory is you made your bed now lie in it. I am moving on, which IMO is what you should do too. You have a lot to deal with right now with D, your children and making a life for yourself. Do you really need someone that is going to call the police on you? I would say NO. JMO.

[loriP]

I'm not sure you two are talking about the same thing, but yes, if the OM was being truthful, it would be somewhat surprising (hence, "bonus"). Is that clear enough?

I have been a fly on the wall many times, and know what he was telling me was true. I heard and saw with my own ears and eyes.

[carhill]

So its a bonus if all thats the truth?

I like to think positively as often as possible. If the W and the OP have a conversation, I'm sure many truths will come to light, or at least the 'other' side of the truth.

 

I found, in my EA, clarity and transparency became a healthy dynamic. Not giggly or haha or I'm so happy, but honest. There's a lot to be said for that.

 

I keep going back to 'the marriage was sexless', 'my wife is silent', 'my wife has HepC is not expected to live long', 'I had an affair and moved out'......

 

This, to me, is a classic mindf*ck. I've been f*cked by the best, and done some of my own, so I'm hoping I'm not overreaching. I'm also staying on-topic and not attacking the OP. She can get her lashes over in the infidelity forum.

 

I have been a fly on the wall many times, and know what he was telling me was true. I heard and saw with my own ears and eyes.

 

So you have talked with his wife or heard her talking on a speakerphone. This is good More information is better.

[loriP]

I like to think positively as often as possible. If the W and the OP have a conversation, I'm sure many truths will come to light, or at least the 'other' side of the truth.

 

I found, in my EA, clarity and transparency became a healthy dynamic. Not giggly or haha or I'm so happy, but honest. There's a lot to be said for that.

 

I keep going back to 'the marriage was sexless', 'my wife is silent', 'my wife has HepC is not expected to live long', 'I had an affair and moved out'......

 

This, to me, is a classic mindf*ck. I've been f*cked by the best, and done some of my own, so I'm hoping I'm not overreaching. I'm also staying on-topic and not attacking the OP. She can get her lashes over in the infidelity forum.

 

 

 

So you have talked with his wife or heard her talking on a speakerphone. This is good More information is better.

I was on webcam with him every night for a year. He stayed in one room and her in another. weird at best

[sally4sara]

Uhhh,

 

one of my female friends was born with HepC (her mother had it while pregnant as her father had infected her mother before he knew he had it himself) it was discovered during the pregnancy.

 

My friend is now 38; she isn't dying.

Her mother is still alive too.

 

Just saying......

[loriP]

Uhhh,

 

one of my female friends was born with HepC (her mother had it while pregnant as her father had infected her mother before he knew he had it himself) it was discovered during the pregnancy.

 

My friend is now 38; she isn't dying.

Her mother is still alive too.

 

Just saying......

All i know about her Hep c is what he tells me....I do know 3 people who have died from hep c in the past 10 years, and know of numerous others who are infected.

[carhill]

I was on webcam with him every night for a year. He stayed in one room and her in another. weird at best

Wonders of the modern world. I will ask no more questions (this means I think you have enough information to make an informed decision)

[jennie-jennie]

She has a type called gloriosa or something like that. I personally know 3 people who have died from hepc. I have known of times when this same situation happens, but of course to someone else, and the mean spouse changes ways over jealousy then reverts back to their old self.

 

Never heard of gloriosa, and I know quite a lot about hep C. Wonder what that could be. Too bad about your friends.

[jennie-jennie]

Uhhh,

 

one of my female friends was born with HepC (her mother had it while pregnant as her father had infected her mother before he knew he had it himself) it was discovered during the pregnancy.

 

My friend is now 38; she isn't dying.

Her mother is still alive too.

 

Just saying......

 

You do know hep C is not transmitted sexually. If your friend's father infected her mother, then they probably shared needles or something. It is a blood to blood infection.

 

Hep C is a silent killer, so this might very well be the case of this wife. No way of knowing without more information if she is among the unlucky heppers or not.

[georgia girl]

jennie-jennie and all:

 

Hep C IS transmitted sexually. It's transmitted via blood contact and is most easily transmitted from man to woman because a woman almost always has vaginal tissue tearing during sex. My brother-in-law is an OB/GYN and has confirmed this. I know because one of the girls in my office had a boyfriend who was recently diagnosed. While transmission is rare and difficult, sexual contact is one of the most common ways to transmit the disease.

[stillafool]

I am a MW & the OW. I met my MM 1 year ago. We are both in our mid 40's. He has been with his wife 5 years with no children, and I have been with my husband 10 years with 2 sons. We lived 100 miles apart. He rented an aprtment and had me move in. Neither of our spouses knew we were having an affair or moving in with each other. I moved to his town. His wife spotted us out a few days after I moved there. He urged me to tell my husband. I was going to in time, but continued to travel back and forth once a week to take care of things with my sons. I was'nt ready for anyone to know what I was doing. His wife was terrible to him and has Hep C, and not expected to live a long life. He has had 1 other affair and moved out also, but returned. He said after that affair wife promised she would change and be a better spouse, but after a couple weeks of him being back after the first affair she was back to her same old self, no communication, no sex, and near complete silence. He swore he would not retun to her again for that reason. He also said he did not love her, but did feel sorry for her cause she was dying. After a couple of weeks I suspected he was visitin the wife and it turned out to be true. He ended up calling the cops on me for harrassment, which I proved wrong. I suspect the wife made him call them on me, but not sure. It is very hurtful thinking he did that to me. I now can have no contact with him. I want to get some insight as to what most people think about this. I would talk to my husband all the time in front of him. I think he thought i was going to go back to my husband. How long do people think the niceness from the wife will last. Is it a sham on her part. What are the chances he will contact me again. His marriage has been sexless since soon after their marriage, and his wife has not spoke one word to him since finding pics of me on his phone in January, so she was rejecting him and it was drinving him nuts, could this be why he returned to her so fast. Are men so upset by silence that they would do this. He was seriously rejected by her.

 

My cousin has Hep C and is still kicking fine. She was diagnosed 6 years ago. I think you MM will go back to his wife time and time again after each of his affairs. It seems he is not sincere about wanting to move in with you and your two kids. He probably did the same thing to the last woman he had an affair with. Don't believe him when he says his marriage is sexless. They all say that! They certainly aren't going to say my wife and I have great sex but I want it with you also. You are asking if the wife will play nice for him forever. No she won't as she knows she has a cheater on her hands. He is the one who is probably "playing nice" so she won't kick him out of their home. What did you do to make him call the cops on you?

[jennie-jennie]

Unfortunately, here may be some evidence that your MM is lying to you: while Hep C can shorten someone's life and is considered "a life limiting illness," very rarely would a woman recently diagnosed (in the past 5-10 years) be actively dying of the disease. There are drugs to extend life and quality of life and she'll likely live into her 60s and 70s, perhaps symptom-free.

 

HOWEVER, Hep C IS NOT curable and it is a sexually transmitted disease. Make sure he always uses a condom with you. He may tell you he's not having sex with his wife, but don't believe him. Not until there's absolutely no contact between them. In your case, it's a health issue to trust him.

 

Georgia girl, before you go on a public forum and post information about a disease, please make sure you know what you are talking about. What you bring up as evidence to this MM lying is wrong.

 

Hep C IS curable. I have myself gone through treatment and am cured of my hepatitis. So is my ex SO and several of our friends.

 

It is not sexually transmitted. Only blood to blood. No need for condoms.

 

There are no drugs to extend life or improve life quality. There is treatment that might or might not cure you. If you get decompensated cirrhosis due to hep C the only way to survive is a liver transplant.

 

Hep C is a silent killer. So you might very well go undiagnosed only to find out at the time of diagnosis that you are dying of hep C. I personally know of a guy who was only 25 when he died of hep C. I know a couple of guys who did in their fourties.

 

Georgiagirl, please do not ever spread false information about hep C again!

[MSUE]

...well miss lori...you are not going to get much nurturing around here because your situation is a hot mess...you did not live with them to know all he is claiming is true...great you had a web cam...was it on all night long aimed at his bed? do you know for a fact he didn't go to bed to lay with his W afterwards? people lie and lie over and over and over again when in A's...that's just the way it is and you were a fool in all this leaving your kids behind??????????????? c'mon seriously I don't care what excuse you can come up with...that's is terrible parenting and I hope that they are young enough to not understand this hot mess...because if I was your kid and understood i would resent you for a long long time...to put a man...before me...your child...to leave me behind?

 

 

i have a better one for you...please get tested...

 

 

I'm sorry you are heart broken as I do see your feelings are real...but he has chosen to go back to his W...and wether she gets better or whatever it is he claims she does wrong...its not your business...its theirs and only theirs as they are H and W...and he comes running back to you...then you know the drill by now...and would be foolish of you to continue such R...you will get your heart broken again and again...please refocus on your children as they are the real victims here...was it worth it?

[georgia girl]

jennie-jennie,

 

Please go back to your doctor and discuss this. First of all, Hep C is a virus, it is not curable. Yes, interfuron can reduce the cells, but it can never be cured. Please discuss this with your doctor.

 

Secondly, please also discuss ways to transmit the disease. Hep C can be transmitted sexually. Again, it is rare, but if either party has another STD, such as herpes where there is an open sore and blood can be transferred through that site, transmission is possible.

 

Please check your facts. For your own health as well as for what you're posting on a public site. I have an board certified physician who is willing to back me up on this.

[bentnotbroken]

Georgia girl, before you go on a public forum and post information about a disease, please make sure you know what you are talking about. What you bring up as evidence to this MM lying is wrong.

 

Hep C IS curable. I have myself gone through treatment and am cured of my hepatitis. So is my ex SO and several of our friends.

 

It is not sexually transmitted. Only blood to blood. No need for condoms.

 

There are no drugs to extend life or improve life quality. There is treatment that might or might not cure you. If you get decompensated cirrhosis due to hep C the only way to survive is a liver transplant.

 

Hep C is a silent killer. So you might very well go undiagnosed only to find out at the time of diagnosis that you are dying of hep C. I personally know of a guy who was only 25 when he died of hep C. I know a couple of guys who did in their fourties.

 

Georgiagirl, please do not ever spread false information about hep C again!

 

 

Wow you would think she has a PhD in Hep C. Another of her many degrees.

[MSUE]

jennie-jennie,

 

Please go back to your doctor and discuss this. First of all, Hep C is a virus, it is not curable. Yes, interfuron can reduce the cells, but it can never be cured. Please discuss this with your doctor.

 

Secondly, please also discuss ways to transmit the disease. Hep C can be transmitted sexually. Again, it is rare, but if either party has another STD, such as herpes where there is an open sore and blood can be transferred through that site, transmission is possible.

 

Please check your facts. For your own health as well as for what you're posting on a public site. I have an board certified physician who is willing to back me up on this.

 

I just called one of my BFF's in the medical field and she seconds everything you stated above except for...there's still debate out there wether is curable 100% or not.

[carhill]

The direction this has taken underscores my comments on the power of the MM's words with the OP. Look how it has taken on a life of its own

[MSUE]

there have been cases of HEP C reported due to sexual activity...particularly anal sex and some risky practices if you know what i mean;) only on blodd and blood contact though so I guess technically it is not an STD however if both parties get a lil blood going down there getting too rough ...yes it is a posibilty

 

although such cases are rare

[sadintexas]

i can honestly say I despise you and your lying ways. You were not honest with your husband and your family and have hurt them terribly, and then you come here and look for advice and support when you are hurt by a cheating man?

 

You, lady, have got some balls.

 

This is the OTHER MAN/OTHER WOMAN forum. Yes, she's come here for advice and support.

[sadintexas]

Does anyone have any advice vs criticism. I am hurting and am in love with this man, and thought he felt the same way. Just looking for any thoughts on if or when he will ever contact me again. Or should I just erase him and the memories.

 

I think the healthiest thing to do is to take things at face value and start moving on. If things change for him in the future, he knows how to contact you.

[jennie-jennie]

jennie-jennie,

 

Please go back to your doctor and discuss this. First of all, Hep C is a virus, it is not curable. Yes, interfuron can reduce the cells, but it can never be cured. Please discuss this with your doctor.

 

Secondly, please also discuss ways to transmit the disease. Hep C can be transmitted sexually. Again, it is rare, but if either party has another STD, such as herpes where there is an open sore and blood can be transferred through that site, transmission is possible.

 

Please check your facts. For your own health as well as for what you're posting on a public site. I have an board certified physician who is willing to back me up on this.

 

It is true that condoms are recommended if either party has an STD (not another STD, since hep C is not an STD), such as herpes where there is an open sore and blood can be transferred, which is blood to blood just like I said.

 

Most doctors do not dare to say you are cured. They say that the virus can not be detected. However in long term studies after successful interferon treatment only something like one percent have been found to have the virus, which is most often believed to be reinfection not relapse.

 

I am glad you spoke to a certified physician since your first post was totally mixed up. This time you did better. But what the hell do you mean with "interferon can reduce the cells"? If you do not have any detectable virus in your blood 6 months post interferon treatment, you are generally considered to be "cured", even though that specific word might not be used.

 

I spent the better part of my 72 week treatment getting educated about hep C. I don't need to speak to my doctor. I came to him with suggestions of how to tweak my treatment.

 

How many hours have you spent studying hep C? I bet the last twenty minutes is a more correct answer.

[loriP]

From what I know about Hepc, I would say it is not transmitted sexually. that is my opinion because my ex husband has it and only found out 8 years ago. The docs suspect he contracted it in his 20's or 30's. Interferon did not work for him..made him very sick..I was tested after being maried tomhim for 13 years, and I was negative. My MM was also tested and was negative. We were bothj tested for all STD's before we started having unprotected sex also.

[lupa]

This is the OTHER MAN/OTHER WOMAN forum. Yes, she's come here for advice and support.

Ok, ok, I understand, you're right, but the simple fact of the matter is I think she deserves some criticism as well, because she is only focusing on herself, and has barely mentioned her family and children she's left behind. I guess I'm just harsh because she is worrying about herself again, instead of looking at how she is hurting others, and on top of that she doesn't realize that she has to look within first, before she can even work on a chance with this guy.

 

Tough love. She needs to be a better person first, so she can be comfortable with herself.

[jennie-jennie]

From what I know about Hepc, I would say it is not transmitted sexually. that is my opinion because my ex husband has it and only found out 8 years ago. The docs suspect he contracted it in his 20's or 30's. Interferon did not work for him..made him very sick..I was tested after being maried tomhim for 13 years, and I was negative. My MM was also tested and was negative. We were bothj tested for all STD's before we started having unprotected sex also.

 

You handled it correctly. Wisely done. I am sorry for the thread jack. I just don't like people getting scared unnecessary of hep C. There is enough of a stigma as is.

[jennie-jennie]

Georgiagirl, one last thing. What interferon does is it boosts your immune system and your immune system kills the virus. Have you heard of colds? They are caused by viruses and our immune system kills those viruses as well.