My MM that I lived with called the cops on me

[Island Girl]

It seems to me that you are putting a lot of stock in his word.

 

You do know that HE called the police right? That hits home doesn't it?

Even if his wife was urging him to do so, if he cared about you then he wouldn't have done that.

 

Just about EVERY MM says he doesn't sleep with his wife - it is a stale lifeless marriage - blah blah blah.

 

Recognize the fact that you aren't happy in your marriage. That you want something else. And divorce your husband.

 

Then set about finding what you want in a man who is available and can give you those things.

[Athena]

He ended up calling the cops on me for harrassment, which I proved wrong. I suspect the wife made him call them on me, but not sure. It is very hurtful thinking he did that to me. I now can have no contact with him.

 

When you say you 'now can have no contact with him' do you mean the police /judge in court says you cannot have any contact with him, or that HE wants no contact with you, or that you cannot bring yourself to have any contact with him due to the hurtful action he did to you?

 

His marriage has been sexless since soon after their marriage,

Lol, I Highly doubt this... just understand that you are dealing with a Liar and a Cheat and lying comes easily to him to defend/protect his interests and position, and he will say Anything...He called the cops on you and LIED to the Police!!!! And obviously he has been lying to his wife to cover up both his previous affair and also while conducting his affair with you, until she bust him!... now why do you think he wouldn't be lying to YOU about a whole lot of other things too?!

 

 

and his wife has not spoke one word to him since finding pics of me on his phone in January, so she was rejecting him and it was drinving him nuts, could this be why he returned to her so fast. Are men so upset by silence that they would do this. He was seriously rejected by her.

No, YOU have been seriously rejected by him! He rejected you so harshly, he not only went back to his wife behind your back, but shamelessly wanted Nothing to do with you and said as much in front of the police officers!!! YOU have been rejected.

 

I want to get some insight as to what most people think about this. I would talk to my husband all the time in front of him. I think he thought i was going to go back to my husband. How long do people think the niceness from the wife will last. Is it a sham on her part. What are the chances he will contact me again.

Who cares what the chances are of the scumbag being done with his wife and contacting you again?! He called the cops on you! In order to make you Go Away... so... go! Don't hang around waiting for him to change his mind, or get bored at home and opt for more Drama, or decide to Punish or Manipulate his wife by running off with you for a short time, until she 'comes around' and does what he wants! He is a piece of shyte.

Speaking of which, can you not turn your focus on your children instead of this POS? Your children are probably thinking the same as you -- they are probably wondering WHY their mama left them, when will she come back? Go to your kids. Be a good mother.

[Athena]

Ok, whew..was feeling it a little. So do men lie about being in love or can they truly be in love with two women at once? that is what i need is to see him as a jerk... It's been a week and I am much better emotionally, hope I continue to get better.

 

Yes, men can be in love with two women at once, although I highly doubt this MM of yours is capable of loving anyone except his own a$$

 

Yes, men do lie about being in love with the OW, especially if they are manipulative jerks and want to 'punish' their wives who are holding out on them sexually (if that is true)... what better way than living with a lover until Wifey comes around to his demands?

 

I am sorry you have been deceived by him. It's obvious that he does not love you when you look at his actions of calling the cops on you... and telling them you are harassing him.... stop making excuses for him by suggesting that the wife may have 'made' him do that... what? Did she hold a gun to his head? No man would treat the woman he loves like that.... think about it.

[Athena]

You are assuming that she made him call the police. You are assuming that you have the truth about their marriage. You may have stumbled into a hornet's nest that you know nothing about... in all sincerity.

 

Why would you want a man who called the police on you for harassment back in your life? I'd bet he told his wife that it was all you ... that you were a stalker. And I'd bet you don't have the first idea what his marriage is about.. or her for that matter. It sounds as if the second she learned of it he backtracked and called you a stalker. Thusly denying you entirely.

 

What you may need to be doing now is figuring out how you can get your life back on track and what, if anything, you can do to salvage any rapport with your betrayed husband.

 

I agree with most of what you say, and I half think he would be dumb enough to try convince his wife that the OW is a stalker, and she, like OP, probably feels so desperate to be 'picked' by the prize a$$ that she is ignoring the fact that she spotted the two love birds out and about Together... and that her H was living in an apartment with OW, lol... ah well, desperation knows no logic

[jennie-jennie]

He drove 250 miles to see me for a couple hours every week. He lived in total silence from his wife since end of January over pics he had of me on his phone. What do you think is the mindset of a person that is done this way. I have told my husband the truth, in fact, too much truth. I'm like th guy on Liar Liar. I do not have any passion for my husband, and will still divorce him. I don't want to live the rest of my life with no passion for the man I am married to. My husband has cheated on me also, but this was my first time and I thought it would lead to marriage.

 

I missed this post of yours earlier. (I was too caught up in the hep C discussion. ) I sympathize with you. You have done the right thing, told your husband and decided you want a divorce. So he cheated on you first, hey, not such an innocent victim then that some here want to make him out to be.

 

I don't know what is going on with your MM though. Calling the cops on you is a major warning sign that something is definitely wrong. Wouldn't put my bets on that guy. As someone suggested he might be trying to make you look like a stalker in front of his wife. In that case he is throwing you under the bus to save his marriage. Pretty raw deal if you ask me.

 

Hope you will find some support somewhere to help you deal with this dilemma. It is difficult to love someone and then end up in a mess like this. Unfortunately it seems only too common that married women in an affair leave their husbands but the married men do not leave their wives. Take care!

[MSUE]

 

Being the other woman is a long and hard road. It is more likely than not that it will not lead to the happy ending we look for. It is very confusing to try and understand where the MM is at. Only you know enough to determine what your next step should be.

 

 

I disagree here...it is terrible parenting...sure we all deserve to be happy...but not ...make this very clear...never at the cost of your children's emotional well being...its very disturbing...not to mention what happiness? it barely lasted a month this moving in thing and now police are involved? was it worth it? seriously?

 

and there is a gap in this story...what did the police tell you? is there a restraining order in place? what happened in the days leading up to this call?

[stillafool]

His wife will most likely go back to her old ways once she has him where she wants him. If he starts straying again, she will shape up. People like this know exactly how much is needed to keep their partner. You can't put any hope to that the fact that it is hard to change your ways will lead to your MM leaving his wife.

 

Yet, with all of this and a new woman waiting in the wings - he still chooses to stay with his wife. Interesting isn't it?

[stillafool]

sure he is on webcam with me when she is in the room. he shows me her asleep, and she sleeps alot. I guess cause of the hepc

 

Or she could be knocked out from the great sex they had.

[stillafool]

He left his wife, rented an apartment so we could be together and

I moved in. I decided to go back home first. He was very angry with me, so I guess by saying I was harassing him is his revenge. I assume his wife made him do something towards me, so that he could get back into his home. By the way, they have no assets, no home paid for etc, and no children. I will still divorce my husband because I refuse to go through life for my childrens sake unhappy. I never left my children for this man. I have worked in one city and my children attend school in another.

 

 

All of this plus he says he doesn't love his wife but still chooses to stay with her. Good God woman, open your eyes already. The writing is on the wall. He is in love with his wife! Ray Charles can see this from the grave.

[MSUE]

Or she could be knocked out from the great sex they had.

:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:LOL... I think I just peed my pants...I better run and check:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

[stillafool]

I was looking for answers to my dilemma on here, but my god there are some seriously angry people here. I pray I don't end up like that!!!

 

 

You have no idea how many cheaters come here and say this when no one tells them what they want to hear.

 

BTW, why were you harassing MM to make him call the police on you?

[jennie-jennie]

I disagree here...it is terrible parenting...sure we all deserve to be happy...but not ...make this very clear...never at the cost of your children's emotional well being...its very disturbing...not to mention what happiness? it barely lasted a month this moving in thing and now police are involved? was it worth it? seriously?

 

and there is a gap in this story...what did the police tell you? is there a restraining order in place? what happened in the days leading up to this call?

 

We need to show our children that there is no discrepancy between their emotional well being and our happiness. As responsible parents we can make sure our kids are well taken care of even when we pursue our own happiness. If we don't teach our children that our own happiness is important, they will not understand that their own happiness is important when they in their turn are adults.

[jennie-jennie]

Yet, with all of this and a new woman waiting in the wings - he still chooses to stay with his wife. Interesting isn't it?

 

That is exactly what I said. That his wife will know exactly how much she needs to shape up to keep him.

[stillafool]

I

and there is a gap in this story...what did the police tell you? is there a restraining order in place? what happened in the days leading up to this call?

 

Yeah, what happened in the days leading up to the police being called?

[stillafool]

That is exactly what I said. That his wife will know exactly how much she needs to shape up to keep him.

 

But my point is the MM said he didn't love her but loved the OW. So if he doesn't love her no amount of shaping up would keep him there unless that is where he wants to be.

[tinktronik]

We need to show our children that there is no discrepancy between their emotional well being and our happiness. As responsible parents we can make sure our kids are well taken care of even when we pursue our own happiness. If we don't teach our children that our own happiness is important, they will not understand that their own happiness is important when they in their turn are adults.

 

I learned at 21 when I gave birth to my 2nd child that happiness is not paramount;especially not mine now that I had other priorities. I cannot imagine (NOT EVEN IMAGINE) running off to live somewhere else to bang some guy, leaving my H and kids behind, getting the police called on me and being out of a home within a month. And then thinking that taking children into an unknown situation when this is the result of choices already made would be a good one.

 

There are things in life once you have children that have to become your priorities and there is a pecking order. Self happiness is on that list but it is way below a bunch of other things.

[MSUE]

We need to show our children that there is no discrepancy between their emotional well being and our happiness. As responsible parents we can make sure our kids are well taken care of even when we pursue our own happiness. If we don't teach our children that our own happiness is important, they will not understand that their own happiness is important when they in their turn are adults.

 

you have to put yourself in your child's shoes...do you think they think ok mommy did this cause she needs to be happy and to teach us the same lesson...that's not the way it works...I hope they are not old enough to understand this hot mess...because if I was the child I could care less about this so called happiness lesson...but instead I will resent you for years to come...kids aren't that stupid these days...and when women becomes a mother it is no longer me me me...its your children and priorities need to be set straight...and if you are not able to put your kids well being first then they shouldn't have chidren till they you are capable of doing so.

[MSUE]

JJ i can not contain myself here...so please excuse me for what I am about to say in advance...but if you agree and encourage such parenting...I would never in a million years want you as my mom...it is very very poor judgment...no wonders so many kids end up messed up

[jennie-jennie]

You have no idea how many cheaters come here and say this when no one tells them what they want to hear.

 

BTW, why were you harassing MM to make him call the police on you?

 

I wouldn't be surprised if the OP is done with LS. We can probably add her to the growing group of OPs who find LS a too hostile place to stay. It is not like we will have any impact on people like her if we keep chasing them from the board.

[GorillaTheater]

I wouldn't be surprised if the OP is done with LS. We can probably add her to the growing group of OPs who find LS a too hostile place to stay. It is not like we will have any impact on people like her if we keep chasing them from the board.

 

Crap. As far as I can see, the posters were relatively gentle with a person who is so fogged up that the only question she had re her abyssmal situation was whether the wife was sincere in wanting to restore their marriage. Despite the dismay and disgust many no doubt felt, the question was answered with a relative minimum of acrimony.

[MSUE]

I wouldn't be surprised if the OP is done with LS. We can probably add her to the growing group of OPs who find LS a too hostile place to stay. It is not like we will have any impact on people like her if we keep chasing them from the board.

 

 

I don't think its a hostility thing...but I do think is a lot of people come here seeking to be nurtured and be told its ok...when it clearly isn't and they are in the middle of a hot mess created by nobody but themselves...it is not ok to nurture and encourage such actions...and if you come to share your story then you need to be ready to hear it all...good or bad...agree or disagree.

 

and in some cases the OP is in such denial and blinded that there is no hope other than time will tell...this a great example of that...the decisions and choices she made were very poor and I think you are the only that disagrees on that here...but guess what that's ok because you are entitle to your views and opinions

[jennie-jennie]

I learned at 21 when I gave birth to my 2nd child that happiness is not paramount;especially not mine now that I had other priorities. I cannot imagine (NOT EVEN IMAGINE) running off to live somewhere else to bang some guy, leaving my H and kids behind, getting the police called on me and being out of a home within a month. And then thinking that taking children into an unknown situation when this is the result of choices already made would be a good one.

 

There are things in life once you have children that have to become your priorities and there is a pecking order. Self happiness is on that list but it is way below a bunch of other things.

 

As I said, since I want my children to pursue self happiness as adults, I set the example. I pursue both self happiness and the well being of my children, they are not mutually exclusive. Never would I stay with a man for the sake of my kids. NEVER. I do not believe that is in their best interest.

 

So, besides your children, what other things do you prioritize before your own happiness?

[tinktronik]

As I said, since I want my children to pursue self happiness as adults, I set the example. I pursue both self happiness and the well being of my children, they are not mutually exclusive. Never would I stay with a man for the sake of my kids. NEVER. I do not believe that is in their best interest.

 

Read what I wrote. What I said had nothing to do with staying with anyone. What I said was to make a decision with children in mind first; not your cha-cha in your pants.

[Chrome Barracuda]

I wouldn't be surprised if the OP is done with LS. We can probably add her to the growing group of OPs who find LS a too hostile place to stay. It is not like we will have any impact on people like her if we keep chasing them from the board.

 

The fact remains is that while some posters were hostile enough here was polite enough to disagree with her opinions and post rational ones to counter hers. That fact is she didnt want to listen she wanted validation of her actions. Having an affair to some people here is okay for them. (not in my book, lol.) But leaving the kids and moving out to bang some other dude, realistically abandoning your kids, to your spouse and worry about your own happiness. I agree, her priorities are out of wack.

 

I hope she's still reading and understands that just because she thinks what she did is okay doesnt make it so. She needs to own up to it.

[GorillaTheater]

Never would I stay with a man for the sake of my kids. NEVER. I do not believe that is in their best interest.

 

Nor is abandoning them. However allegedly temporarily.