Patiently (or not so patiently) waiting...

[MapleTeacup]

I hear ya, sister. I've been with my boyfriend for going on 8 years now, and it still hasn't happened. We clearly want to be together, but perhaps I made the mistake of letting him have the milk without having to buy the cow. We just bought a house together a few months ago and I thought for sure I'd have a ring before that, or maybe the day we closed. Now it's getting to the point where I expect it at every turn, especially holidays, and when it doesn't happen, the disappointment really gets to me.

 

He knows I want it to happen, he says he plans on marrying me, and I've had full-out balling sessions where I really let it fly how upset I am. But still no dice.

 

The best you can do is keep trying to be patient, say what you feel before it totally overwhelms you, and try really hard to be happy for your engaged friends, even though it's not happening for you. It sucks, but the timing is different for everyone. Keep your head up, and remember, you're not the only one.

 

Wow, girls like us should have a support group. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one. It's so hard when you know it's going to happen eventually, but you don't know when. My guy talks about kids more than he talks about actually getting married! I have to remind him that I'm not popping out any kids 'til it's legal;)

Edited October 18, 2009 by MapleTeacup

[MapleTeacup]

Sophie, I have a similar story exept my boyfriend of almost 6 years is doing his masters degree and I have been working for the last three and a half years that we have lived togther. We have a great relationship. We are very much in love and we get along really well.

 

The one thing that has made things a bit rough these days is my impatience about moving on with our lives together and moving to the next step...getting engaged. We have both talked about getting married and gaving kids and we are both on board for both of those things. Its just that its not the right time for him to propose to me. He wants to wait until he is working a real job (he makes barely anything right now) and can afford to get me a nice ring and pay for a wedding (he knows I would be fine with a small simple ring and wedding but he insists on getting a nice ring and having a nice wedding). I understand his rationnale and I am trying to be patient but its really hard! I am 27 years old and in the past year I have really been going through some hormonal changes. Im that pst year I have really been feeling an overwhelming urge to have kids. So needless to say I want to be married before we have kids so this has been adding onto my impatience.

 

I am so mad at myself all the time becuase I am not sure why I can't just relax, live life and take things as they come and enjoy the great relationship that we have. I am bitter a lot about the fact that I have to wait for him to finish school before we get engaged. And it also doesn't help that all of our friends are starting to get engaged. I know that I should just be genuinly happy for them but inside I am always hurt that they are getting what I have wanted for so long. And I am also worried that my bf will finally decide that he has had enough of my comments about us not getting engaged that he will end our relationship. I know it stresses him out a lot that I want things that he cannot give me right now. And he gets mad that I am taking out all of the romance and suprise out of the engagement because I put so much pressure on it. I am really trying to just enjoy our relationship and be patient...we may be engaged in as soon as a year - once he is finished school.

 

I know what I need to do - stop stressing out and being in a hurry to get married and just relax and enjoy our relationship. I am just having a hard time and hence this post so I can vent about my feelings.

 

To whoever reads this post - thanks for listening!

 

Amanda, I'm in the same boat as you. You're always welcome to vent to me... I actually find it therapeutic.