Feel like i'm at a loss

[EsmerKiss7]

Well, to begin this thread really isn't about me per se but about someone very close to me. See, my mom was a heroine addict when i was growing up, it really sucked seeing her that way. Me and my brothers had to take care of ourselves and sometimes her (mind you, we were children 4-13), eventually we ended up in foster homes and she went to a halfway house. She became clean and stayed that way for a good amount of years, we ended up moving back with her when i was in my early teens.

 

Well, about 2 and a half years ago I had this horrible dream that my brother called me and said they couldn't find her, she had been missing for a few days and they didn't know what to do. So in my dream I go looking for her and find her at this bus stop, she was completely high and wouldn't get in my car. I kept trying to get her in and she just wouldn't, I woke up crying. Anyway, since than I was afraid something was going on and talked to my brothers they didn't think anything was up. I know it was just a dream but I just couldn't shake it, something wasn't right...

 

About 6 months later she starts acting wierd: moodswings, staying out later than usual, being in and out of the house, new friends that were kinda shady... So I ask her if their are drugs involved, she tells me of course not, she would never do that. I wanted to believe her so I gave her the benefit of the doubt, plus she's and adult, i mean she's my mother who am I to be questioning her whereabouts right? We didn't talk much about it after that. Although, I was sure to let her know she could talk to me if she needed to.

 

About a year ago my brother found a baggy in her room that looked like it had residue of crys in it. He kept it but didn't tell her he found it. He did ask her if she was doing drugs again tho and she said no. A few months later my other brother found a baggy in our garage, it had crys in it. He confronted my mother about it and she said it must've been her friends' but denied doing it herself. Than about 6 months ago I returned home for about 3 weeks, I asked her about the drugs again and she swore up and down she wasn't doing them. I asked why she would put herself around people who did? Knowing that that was just temptation for her, she said it didn't bother her. Finally, my brother found another baggy and a crys pipe and we confronted her together, she got mad at us and stormed out.

 

I've been so angry with her since but tried to reason with her and tell her that the stuff is no good for her. Her argument was that she is an adult and if she wants to do it every once in awhile its her choice. Anyway, she has lost tons of weight and still hangs out with those people. She is hardly ever home anymore and it's obvious she is on that sh**. I don't know what to do, it hurts to know she would do this to herself again, and I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like i'm at a loss here in reasoning with her. I want her to feel like we'll support her and be there for her but it's getting to the point where she is pushing us, her family, away. I don't know what to do.