SJJ Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 I been with my boyfriend nearly 4 years now. a year ago we went on holiday and had agreat time, i bought up marriage he said he'd have to ask my mum's permission etc etc then a few months after our holiday i found out he was posting naked pics of him self on some website! I found this and said i was going to leave, he begged me not to go and said he was sorry he said xmas that year he was gonna ask to marry me! so i stayed and started to trust him, i loved him so much. every time a mate asks if we're gonna marry he just turns around and says when his company gets up and running this is all he ever says! his first girlfriend was only with him 2 years and with in that time he asked her to marry him and she moved in! I just dont get it i do everything i can for him he says he loves me loads i know he prob cant afford to get married but an engagment ring to show when we can afford it would be good. but he just wants to buy plants and stuff for his garden am i not more important? help Link to post Share on other sites
Lovely10 Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 I'm going to give you advice as if you were my BFF. While you may love this man very much it does not mean that your love will make him love you back or... act in a loving way towards you. Trust me, if he is acting like this before the marriage you do not want to know how he would be after the marriage. IMO marrying this man would be the equivalent of flushing your happiness and your life right down the toilet. I don't care how much it hurts. Walk away. Be thankful you haven't married him. He isn't going to bring happiness to your life. After a while simply having him will not be enough... I watched my sister marry a man like this. I begged her not to... she became angry with me and wouldn't even talk to me for a long while. They divorced after 5 years during which time she was beaten down emotionally, criticized every day about her body, looks, housekeeping. He destroyed her. Run. Do not walk... find a man who can return your love. Link to post Share on other sites
Devil Inside Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 You are asking the wrong question. You should be asking...why are you staying with a man that doesn't have the same idea of your future together as you do. Actions scream...words whisper. What are his actions telling you about his level of commitment and plans to marry you. Words are cheap...think about his behavior here. I know it's hard to hear this, but you owe it to yourself to be honest. Do not marry someone that is not feeling the same way...you will regret it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 You are asking the wrong question. You should be asking...why are you staying with a man that doesn't have the same idea of your future together as you do. Actions scream...words whisper. What are his actions telling you about his level of commitment and plans to marry you. Words are cheap...think about his behavior here. I know it's hard to hear this, but you owe it to yourself to be honest. Do not marry someone that is not feeling the same way...you will regret it. I agree that the proof is in the pudding. A man who is serious about marriage does NOT post pictures of himself on the internet. Your first mistake was to even take him back!!! I think he is dangling this engagement thing in front of you so you will have a reason to stay with him. Like Devil said, his words don't mean jack until he gets down on one knee. Link to post Share on other sites
mem11363 Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 You are his playmate/toy until his company gets up and running at which point he will end it and upgrade to someone he really loves. The internet picture posting is not a subjective thing it is a fact. L10 has pointed out the brutal reality of super lopsided love below. Take her advice and RUN RUN RUN before this man destroys your self esteem. I'm going to give you advice as if you were my BFF. While you may love this man very much it does not mean that your love will make him love you back or... act in a loving way towards you. Trust me, if he is acting like this before the marriage you do not want to know how he would be after the marriage. IMO marrying this man would be the equivalent of flushing your happiness and your life right down the toilet. I don't care how much it hurts. Walk away. Be thankful you haven't married him. He isn't going to bring happiness to your life. After a while simply having him will not be enough... I watched my sister marry a man like this. I begged her not to... she became angry with me and wouldn't even talk to me for a long while. They divorced after 5 years during which time she was beaten down emotionally, criticized every day about her body, looks, housekeeping. He destroyed her. Run. Do not walk... find a man who can return your love. Link to post Share on other sites
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