23 Days No Contact...And I Get A Note...

[JimmyB26]

1. This girl has been calling and texting through weeks of hardcore NC. Serenading me over voicemail. Sending me cards that would probably send her ldr new guy into a jealous tirade.

 

2. The text in question was reactionary, and she sent it upon seeing me. I elicited an emotional response and she had to get in touch.

 

3. Seeing her last week, as detailed above, set off a flurry of texts, yes, that I initiated, but during which I relayed the need for space. The note was already in the mail on its way to her. The first day I talked about how space was a good idea. The second day she initiated the texting, and I let her leave the last one, and didn't respond. No personal details mentioned. The third day was the same story as the second day.

 

4. The fourth day she must have gotten the note (we live less than 2 miles apart, 2 zipcodes apart, and with the Chicago Central Postal Processing branch in between us), because I didn't hear anything all weekend. But she knew the terms I set, and still wanted to get in touch. She knew I didn't hate her.

 

And finally... I just got another text on a Friday afternoon...

 

"Hey, busy this weekend?"

[JimmyB26]

I responded with a text - as it is, I DO have 2 dates this weekend, and Sunday is Yom Kippur.

 

Also, she didn't ask to see me, or express any intent. She simply asked if I was busy. That suggests a certain wishy-washy quality, where if I jumped, she'd find a reason to bail.

 

My response: "Pretty busy weekend, yeah."

 

No details or any other information. Right back into NC.

 

When she wants to see me, she better come right out and ASK me the appropriate question.

[alexxx]

I responded with a text - as it is, I DO have 2 dates this weekend, and Sunday is Yom Kippur.

 

Also, she didn't ask to see me, or express any intent. She simply asked if I was busy. That suggests a certain wishy-washy quality, where if I jumped, she'd find a reason to bail.

 

My response: "Pretty busy weekend, yeah."

 

No details or any other information. Right back into NC.

 

When she wants to see me, she better come right out and ASK me the appropriate question.

 

If you are trying to convince us that she is still talking to you, sure, we'll buy that. Girls like games, in particular if they involve lining up bunch of guys to show them attention and to chase them. But, what are you getting in return? Ever wonder how much respect she has left for you? You are treating her like a queen while she is dating another guy?

 

Also, you might want to stop using the term NC for your strategy, if nothing then because a novice on this board will be confused regarding the meaning of NC.

 

NC means "no contact" and you are not doing that.

[BCCA]

1. This girl has been calling and texting through weeks of hardcore NC. Serenading me over voicemail. Sending me cards that would probably send her ldr new guy into a jealous tirade.

 

Yet shes still with him and not trying to ask to get back with you at all.

 

2. The text in question was reactionary, and she sent it upon seeing me. I elicited an emotional response and she had to get in touch.

 

Dude, THAT TEXT WAS MEANINGLESS! Let it go already, it wasnt emotional, weve been over this. It might have said 'good luck without me'.

 

3. Seeing her last week, as detailed above, set off a flurry of texts, yes, that I initiated, but during which I relayed the need for space. The note was already in the mail on its way to her. The first day I talked about how space was a good idea. The second day she initiated the texting, and I let her leave the last one, and didn't respond. No personal details mentioned. The third day was the same story as the second day.

 

But none of these texts said anything about wanting to get back together or breaking up with the OTHER GUY she is dating, so again, theyre pointless.

 

4. The fourth day she must have gotten the note (we live less than 2 miles apart, 2 zipcodes apart, and with the Chicago Central Postal Processing branch in between us), because I didn't hear anything all weekend. But she knew the terms I set, and still wanted to get in touch. She knew I didn't hate her.

 

You assume far too much. You dont think she feels guilty, and wants to make sure youre doing alright? And the terms you set for what? Shes still dating another guy, is that ok according to your terms?

 

When she wants to see me, she better come right out and ASK me the appropriate question.

 

Why would she when she can keep getting you to respond to her texts?

 

If you are trying to convince us that she is still talking to you, sure, we'll buy that. Girls like games, in particular if they involve lining up bunch of guys to show them attention and to chase them. But, what are you getting in return?

 

All hes getting is false hopes and a reason to let his mind race. But he keeps assuming anything this girl does means she wants him back.

 

Also, you might want to stop using the term NC for your strategy, if nothing then because a novice on this board will be confused regarding the meaning of NC.

 

NC means "no contact" and you are not doing that.

 

What hes doing is trying to use his own form of 'NC' to bring her back, in other words - MIS-using it all together. This entire line of thinking is going to lead to utter dissapointment, but we've all been there before. Im just trying to warn him as one guy to another, Ive seen all these behaviors before, and they just dont mean what he thinks they do at all.