Im going to kick myself in the head with my hand... What?!?!

[LonelyConfusedSoul]

So I met this girl through a friend 5 months ago. She started texting me, I just thought she was just annoying at first. But we started talking more and connecting and such. Texting all hours into the night almost every night. Conversations weren't and still arent getting dull. As time progressed. I started to get these deep feelings for her. I mean, she would text me all the time, talk to me about her personal problems (trust) and she would make a fuss if I didnt send her a heart or a hug while texting (She lives 45 minutes away, but her parents decide against us hanging out).

 

So I decided to chance it. I mean what did I have to lose right, She had already agreed to go to my Gr.12 prom this year. She didn't have any other guys in her life, atleast not that she told me about. Except the friend that introduced us. They had a pretty bad fight and are no longer in speaking terms and such. So I had said something like "Seeing you with another guy would be torture to me" and she said "Nathan(me), I feel sorry for leading you on, I didn't realize until I found out you like me, I feel horrible".

 

My heart sank, Never had a worse feeling in my life, unless you count my last experience on this forum >.<. So we got into a pretty big fight, My friends told me that she just wants to keep you to use you as a shoulder to cry on while she goes on dates with other guys. You should get her out of your ilfe immediately. But after a few days. We started talking, and I asked her a few times, Is there something that your scared of, or worried about, and she said, after a few times "Your my best guy friend, who understands me, and I don't want to risk losing our friendship. I told her that would never happen. But she said, things arent like that between us Nathan. (Or I think that she doesnt want them to be) Because there is no way in heck after 5 months of serious chatting that you realize your leading me on to make me believe that you like me.

 

I told her that i never wanted to talk to her agani. She got all depressed (which I cant understand if she really cared about me at all). She started to tell my friend that she needs me, and that she wishes she would just die. My friend texts me saying "She needs you man". I just can't understand why she is pulling this **** if she doesn't want to date me

[WTRanger]

First off, you've got to realize that this isn't all about you and your feelings. To her, she's losing a close friend and to you, you are losing the girl you want to be more than friends with. So, in the painful reality of the situation you two are both losing something near and dear to you. Life sucks, doesn't it?

 

This is about mutual understanding. She needs to understand she can't use you as an emotional tampon or even you being just a "good friend" to her if you have romantic feelings for this girl. That's completely not fair to you. It's really unfair if you are just her emotional tampon, even if you don't have feelings. But for you to be around her with the feelings you have, that's just asking for torture and you cannot do it. You have to back away from her until those feelings die and then and if you decide you can be "just friends" will the friendship truly start. Because it hasn't been a friendship to this point.

 

On the flip side, you need to understand that she's losing a friend. She may really care about you, as a friend. Girls sometimes have an easier time seperating friends between girls and guys. Guys, I think and I know from experience, have a harder time separating the friends and feelings aspect with girls. You can't start arguments and bitch her out if she's sad you are leaving. I know you are hurting, but you are coming off like a total dickhead.

 

This is a horrible situation, but the only way to solve things is for you to lay low. You need to get over this infatuation with this girl and then and only then can the two of you be friends. You also need to realize that you didn't do anything wrong. You are designed to fall for girls, and your feelings cannot make that distinction between "just friends." Especially if you feel important to this girl, if you feel like you are #1 to her, it's almost impossible not to fall for her. But you can't keep up the stand-in boyfriend role either. It's just not healthy for you or her.

[LonelyConfusedSoul]

First off, you've got to realize that this isn't all about you and your feelings. To her, she's losing a close friend and to you, you are losing the girl you want to be more than friends with. So, in the painful reality of the situation you two are both losing something near and dear to you. Life sucks, doesn't it?

 

This is about mutual understanding. She needs to understand she can't use you as an emotional tampon or even you being just a "good friend" to her if you have romantic feelings for this girl. That's completely not fair to you. It's really unfair if you are just her emotional tampon, even if you don't have feelings. But for you to be around her with the feelings you have, that's just asking for torture and you cannot do it. You have to back away from her until those feelings die and then and if you decide you can be "just friends" will the friendship truly start. Because it hasn't been a friendship to this point.

 

On the flip side, you need to understand that she's losing a friend. She may really care about you, as a friend. Girls sometimes have an easier time seperating friends between girls and guys. Guys, I think and I know from experience, have a harder time separating the friends and feelings aspect with girls. You can't start arguments and bitch her out if she's sad you are leaving. I know you are hurting, but you are coming off like a total dickhead.

 

This is a horrible situation, but the only way to solve things is for you to lay low. You need to get over this infatuation with this girl and then and only then can the two of you be friends. You also need to realize that you didn't do anything wrong. You are designed to fall for girls, and your feelings cannot make that distinction between "just friends." Especially if you feel important to this girl, if you feel like you are #1 to her, it's almost impossible not to fall for her. But you can't keep up the stand-in boyfriend role either. It's just not healthy for you or her.

 

Ugh, what did i do wrong

[WTRanger]

You didn't do anything wrong. This whole nasty situation is about understanding. You need to understand things, and she needs to understand things. Not everyone is going to fall for someone who falls for them. It's a sick joke of life.

 

The best thing you can do is to lay low with this girl for a while and get back out there and find a girl who actually is interested in you. You need to take the original girl off of her throne that you've put her on. You need to see her for who she is, just a regular girl and not some flawless queen.

 

What did she fight about with her other friend? The one that introduced you two.

[LonelyConfusedSoul]

You didn't do anything wrong. This whole nasty situation is about understanding. You need to understand things, and she needs to understand things. Not everyone is going to fall for someone who falls for them. It's a sick joke of life.

 

The best thing you can do is to lay low with this girl for a while and get back out there and find a girl who actually is interested in you. You need to take the original girl off of her throne that you've put her on. You need to see her for who she is, just a regular girl and not some flawless queen.

 

What did she fight about with her other friend? The one that introduced you two.

 

Apparently they hate eachother, but they once dated and were best friends

 

Any good advice I should look into from

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