Be Careful what you Wish for.....

[Bummed&Hurt]

It's been a long while since I posted here but need to vent once again. This especially goes out to all the people here who are pleading for a second chance with the spouse. My original thread can be found here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t138633/

 

My wife came to her senses during March of '08. She realized that the OM wasn't going to leave his wife. She did a complete 180 and we went to marriage counseling and got our marriage back on track. I can tell you I have had a hard time forgiving and I sure couldn't forget what happened but she tried very hard until July of '09. Our communications skills were helped greatly by MC and things seemed like they were going in the right direction.

 

All three of us work at the same place. During the start of '09 she had to work with him over the phone. That's probably when everything went to crap. I found out 3 weeks ago that she was talking to him at home when I wasn't there. I don't think anything physical happened, but the emotional affair was going strong once again.

 

I have filed for divorce and am in the process of moving out. I guess I just want everyone out there who have been cheated on to realize that you need to quit trying to fix a relationship with someone who is capable of doing these things. They will surely do them again and again. Their sociopath behavior will never stop. We have two small children and her own needs outweigh anything and everything else.

 

Take time and energy and put it to making yourself better and not trying to fix something that's dead. You deserve much more in life than what the WS gives you.

[Navin_R_Johnson]

Sorry about your situation, but I think you are right. I went through the "caught her cheating, she was sorry, then couple years later same thing, same person" deal.

 

A friend of mine at work got cheated on last summer, moved out, built a house, got divorced, found out his ex was pregnant, got the paternity test, and remarried. Unfortunately, I do not feel good about their long-term outlook.

 

It is great to analyze yourself and make changes, but sometimes it really *is* just a bad choice of partners. Once a cheetah....

[floridapad]

I'm curious to know if when looking back at the situation (after u got back together), did u see signs that she was not "all in" the relationship, even though u were. How long between the time of NC with OM did she come back? How long did u take to say yes? Just curious. Thank you!

[phineas]

Caught my wife.

She moved out.

Came back but wanted to keep separate residences.

She claimed it was over wanted marriage counseling.

After a few months I got tired of the situation. Either she wanted marriage or not.

She was on the fence.

I found out she was still with other man.

Pulling the plug.

 

We just wern't a match.

I'm a good man & she's a POS.

 

There are good women out there my age. Their divorced because they married a POS. LOL!

 

it's kinda funny & sad at the same time.

[Bummed&Hurt]

Floridapad: honestly she was into the relationship for a solid 1.5 years after the NC. The problem is that all three of us work for the same company. After the first affair he moved to a office 2 hours away but they still had to work together over the phone.

 

Sometime this summer things went bad. I could tell something was going on and confronted her with it and she said nothing was going on and everything was fine. Found out at the end of August he was calling her at home. I recorded the conversations and she would deny anything until I played them for her.

 

I honestly carry the blame for some of the downfall. I had a hard time forgetting and forgiving. If we didn't work at the same place I don't think this would have happened.

 

Now she thinks her reputation is ruined in our small community and wants to move up by him. We have two small children and three grown ones. The three grown ones now do not want to have anything to do with her. It kills me watching my family fall apart, again. I know time will heal some of these wounds but at one time we were a happy family.