eeyore1981 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 I am apologizing to both of you for attacking you on a thread last night. I apologized in the thread, and had planned to pm you both an apology to make sure you got it, but do not know how to pm, so I will do it here in hopes you both see it. As a BS whose husband is unwilling to deal with his affair and the subsequent fall-out, I am hurting really badly. Having a window into the heads of others who have cheated could probably help me deal with some of this, if I choose to set my anger aside, which last night I did not do. I am sorry for that. Link to post Share on other sites
samprez Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 No problem. I get it. Let it rip if you want. Once you cross this line (cheating) you get what you deserve. I'm happy to chat with you to help you figure this out. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 I know that I am not either one, but I would like to add a post of support and understanding. I have been here four years, and I remember my first thread about my marriage. Not knowing the individuals who posted and not knowing where they came from caused me some anger and hurt when I read some responses. Now I have started another thread about my marriage. Knowing how people are, I look at each individual's post/threads to get an idea what their background is. So if you are a BS and a "cheater" posts a comment, then at least you understand why their perspective is what it is. And sometimes (rather many times) people's own anger and frustration spills over into their comments to you as if you are somehow to blame for their problems. This especially happens on the OM/OW board when BSs post. Your anger is normal and understandable. However, your apology gives us an idea of what kind of person you really are...and I can say that I see a decent, honest and very admirable individual. Hopefully you will find your answers here and get some solutions. And if/when you do, hopefully you will stay and give some feedback to others who have or are experiencing what you have experienced. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony Posted September 11, 2009 Senior Moderators Share Posted September 11, 2009 Our guidelines prohibit direct communication to specific members in an open thread in a public forum on LoveShack. However, this seems a special situation and I will leave it up for a bit. However, ALL MEMBERS...please understand that you may not address specific members in any post. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 There but for the grace given to me by a little white pill go I. I have over the last couple of weeks felt so much anger at several WS (men) that I just cant reply to their posts because I know its misdirected. I feel like shaking one in particular because he sounds so much like my H. But the difference is...these guys are HERE. On a relationship support forum. Thats a big deal, for a man, in my book - whether I want to shake him or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author eeyore1981 Posted September 11, 2009 Author Share Posted September 11, 2009 Our guidelines prohibit direct communication to specific members in an open thread in a public forum on LoveShack. However, this seems a special situation and I will leave it up for a bit. However, ALL MEMBERS...please understand that you may not address specific members in any post. Thanks! Thank you, Tony, for allowing this to stay up for a little while. While it is up, I would also like to acknowledge I recognize and commend these two men for posting on here. While I disagree with some of what they have posted, they are putting out an effort to make amends to their spouses, and even putting themselves out in here, which can't be all that easy. Maybe some of us on the other side can find some benefit in what they are saying, maybe not, but I am going to give it a try. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 However, ALL MEMBERS...please understand that you may not address specific members in any post. Thanks! I gotta scratch my head on that one since it happens all the time and in almost every thread. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 I gotta scratch my head on that one since it happens all the time and in almost every thread. What I think he meant (and I may be wrong) is that we are not to start a particular thread aimed at a particular poster. I am guilty of it once in the past. I started a thread asking where a particular person was. This was an instant infraction. Part of m reason for posting was to widen the meaning of the thread because I think many who give feedback do not always consider how their words affect a person who is hurting emotionally. While it may not affect that person under normal conditions, it does when they are emotionally in a turmoil. Link to post Share on other sites
Snowflower Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 I really appreciate the posts from WS and OM (few as there are) and OW. And I agree with the other poster who said, hey, these guys who are posting here on a relationship forums lets give them some credit! I don't always agree with everyone here-even some other BS like me but by and large, I really like the people here. Sure, there are one or two that rub me the wrong way but it hey, that's like it is IRL! And I will admit that the viewpoints of a few really, really pain me as a BS. Mostly though, I think everyone has something to contribute. I'm always surprised and pleased when a poster that I don't usually agree with will sometimes come up with something that I hadn't thought of before. And, what I like best about LS is the fact that many posters 'stick around.' There is a lot of longetivity on this forum. There is very good advice here for everyone-I know I have learned a lot. I left another forum that I belonged to previous to finding LS because it seemed like all the posters were new and no one had any experience--it was just newbies...kind of like the blind leading the blind! Some of the advice over there was pretty scary sometimes-when I went back to 'visit' the other site after being on LS for awhile. Link to post Share on other sites
Devil Inside Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 There but for the grace given to me by a little white pill go I. I have over the last couple of weeks felt so much anger at several WS (men) that I just cant reply to their posts because I know its misdirected. I feel like shaking one in particular because he sounds so much like my H. But the difference is...these guys are HERE. On a relationship support forum. Thats a big deal, for a man, in my book - whether I want to shake him or not. If need be....shake away. I think that in a way getting blasted here helps me feel properly punished....ever notice my avatar? Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 If need be....shake away. I think that in a way getting blasted here helps me feel properly punished....ever notice my avatar? ???? Oh my. I honestly thought , I tried to be... HOW on earth did you know I was referring to you? How is that possible? Link to post Share on other sites
Devil Inside Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 ???? Oh my. I honestly thought , I tried to be... HOW on earth did you know I was referring to you? How is that possible? I didn't say that because I have ever felt attacked by you...just that if you need to get some stuff out I am available. You have always been very fair with me 2sure...as have most BSs on the board. Link to post Share on other sites
Author eeyore1981 Posted September 11, 2009 Author Share Posted September 11, 2009 And, what I like best about LS is the fact that many posters 'stick around.' There is a lot of longetivity on this forum. There is very good advice here for everyone-I know I have learned a lot. I left another forum that I belonged to previous to finding LS because it seemed like all the posters were new and no one had any experience--it was just newbies...kind of like the blind leading the blind! Some of the advice over there was pretty scary sometimes-when I went back to 'visit' the other site after being on LS for awhile. I signed on here about a year and a half ago, about 4 or 5 months after finding out about the affair. When I tried to log back on a couple of weeks ago, I couldn't remember my password, and somehow I managed to get a slightly new user id in sending in for the reminder. ?? Just when I start thinking I am so smart, lol. Anyway, I am aka eeyore1980. Link to post Share on other sites
mnm Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 This site has been an absolute lifesaver for me. There were times and still are that I feel like I;m losing my mind b/c it goes into overdrive. Getting on here reading posts getting advice and just being able to vent is truly helping me recover. At first I wouldn't even read any postings by WS, thought what they had to say would be justification of their actions, but I started to read Devil Insides thread, I was overwhelmed by his emotions and also so much insight into things. I like the fact that I can say things and open up and noone knows who I am. Thanks to whoever formed this. I enjoy the back and forth of some posters, it kinda makes me giggle a little. Link to post Share on other sites
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