rant / what now?

[leapy]

I apologize in advance for the length of this post but I need to vent and if anybody has some advice for me then I will gladly consider it. It all started about 6 months ago, the backstory is quite long and rambling, so I won't post it here. My original post on it can be found here --->http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t182914/.

 

The short version is that I fell for my best friend I (innexpertly) gave it a shot, she turned me down and now we don't talk any more. I left her alone for a couple of months (aside from a couple of times when I might have texted her while I was horrendously drunk on whisky. I don't remember it but I'm told it happened). We met again at a mutual friend's birthday party and everything seemed to be OK between us.

 

A couple of weeks ago I asked her if she wanted to hang out. After initially saying yes and then leading me on with some crap about work scheduals she sent me the following message

 

"sorry but u still really creap me out n i can't bring myself to hang out with you"

 

So yeh, that hurt. I was really pisse off at this and sent back a message along the lines of "I tried, if you want to be friend again YOU get in contact with ME" and I haven't been in contact since.

 

This whole thing is a mess and the wort thing about it is that I've lost one of the best friends I ever had. I'm not the kind of person who makes friends easilly. I only ever have a few at a time.

 

This would be far easier if i had someone to be with but I'm all alone, I haven't met anyone I've fancied in MONTHS and even If I did it would probably end the same way it always does, with me failing completley.

 

I'm incredably lonley and I find myself becoming increasingly bitter.I need some advice here because I can't see a way out.

 

 

I went into the city today

I stood on Briggate and watched the world go by

I saw pretty girls in sundresses, I saw the couples courting

I saw the street traders hawking, the buskers busking and the buisnessmen moving quickly

I saw humanity of every shape and colour surge forth arround me

And I have never felt so alone.

 

 

Christ I'm lonely...

[Sprig]

I know dude, I'm lonely too. Don't feel that your the only one. I dream of the day that I can hold that special some in my arms. It occupies quite a bit of my time.

 

Maybe what you can do is be around the mutual friend for a while with your ex-friend. Maybe after a couple parties your ex-friend will feel comfortable enough to hang out with you again.