alphamale Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 Do you have any friends who are also enemies? Tell me about your current or past relationship with them. I will sit back and listen. Link to post Share on other sites
AlektraClementine Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 One girlfriend comes to mind. The good - Very loyal. Very giving. Fun to socialize with. Our children are friends. Quite funny. Very witty. Non judgmental. The bad- She has a BAD tendency to interrupt and talk over you. So much so that she'll raise her voice to do so. She blows my phone up. Calls 4-5 times a day. Will call repeatedly until I answer. The ugly- She has a drinking problem. She becomes loud, obnoxious, and embarrassing when she's drunk (i.e. made an a$$ of herself at her best friends wedding which included falling down and becoming belligerent with a groomsman). Link to post Share on other sites
Jenny_34 Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 Yes, ex-best friend: Good: Always present Bad: Self-absorbed, insecure, self esteem issues, wants to compete all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Yellowboy Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 The easiest one I have The Good: fun to hang out with, similar hobbies and interests The Bad: cock blockers, tend to become obnoxious in front of women Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 Joseph Stalin was like the classic frenemy. He was our ally, but we hated his guts at the same time. I think alcohol is a bit of frenemy in that I can always count on it to make me feel better and to make worse Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 Female friend who I finally cut ties with last year. Pluses Very smart, sharp and funny Good for partying with Minuses Untrustworthy, two-faced and filled with toxic schadenfreude. One time she emailed a picture of her best friend to me and several other women. The best friend had lost a lot of weight and looked unwell. My frenemy had captioned the picture "anorexia, anybody?" When she did things like that I'd get a cold, creeped out feeling about her. All my other friends disliked her intensely, and she was also the last link to a boyfriend who had ended up behaving in an abysmal manner. Frenemy's helpful input had involved giving him the message throughout the relationship (which had started off very well) that "Taramere's a fragile, vulnerable person. You're going to end up hurting her....I just know it." I often get angry with myself for having been friends for so long with someone who I fels such a deep-rooted mistrust for... but it's like any other kind of toxic relationship. You make excuses for people, and something in you refuses to believe they're as bad as they really are. Link to post Share on other sites
Sibyl Vane Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 My best friend from high school... Positives: We had a lot in common with each other and we had fun when we were together. Negatives: She was very selfish, everything was about her. I could never go to her with any problem because halfway through she would change the subject randomly to something about her. I really could have done with a better friend at that point in my life. Also, she wasn't very loyal and there were times she would ditch me for other people until she fought with them and came back to me suddenly. I had much better friends than her yet I always let her back in until she disappointed me again. Also, she would create trouble between me and other people by bitching about each behind our backs. I am not perfect and I'm sure if you asked her she'd have negative things to say about me too. But I'm always there for my friends and it took me a long time to rid myself of someone that never returned that. I don't wish her harm and I hope she's happy but I refuse to allow her back in, it's not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
always_searching Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 I had frenemies that I thought were friends and didn't know were enemies. Come to think of it, quite a few of my female friends were like this. For example, I found out one of my friends only hung out with me because a guy she had a crush on and I were really close friends. Another was only my friend because I was best friends with her boyfriend. I suppose I've had a number of frenemies--the "enemy" aspect usually somehow related to men. Honestly, I try not to think about it. Who cares if they're my frenemy as long as it doesn't consciously affect me? Hmmmm...though, I will say writing about this does make me realize the cattiness of women. Link to post Share on other sites
jasminetea Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 Frenemies - that's a great term! I've learnt to not get too close to women because of this. Although I'm not sure how much of the hurt that I've received from them has been because of my own too high expectations of them, or as a result of their own, inner bitch. Its probably a bit of both, but either way, its done me no harm to be more self-reliant and not hope for so much from them. Having said all that, the friends I have now have experienced the same bitchiness in their pasts and I think as a result, are careful to be very open about their motives so there can be no misunderstandings and no offence. Link to post Share on other sites
Pedigree Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 The Good: Similar interests, similar sense of humour The Bad: He's an attention-seeking liar. Graduation couldn't come soon enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Sandy0417 Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Wow, how do I make a long story short.. well to condense a seventeen year friendship with some monumental ups and downs. This "friend" likes to underhandedly stick it to me when I least expect it. Sends me a long and threatening email explaining why I should never add her to a general email list to forward a joke. (I should add that it was only about eight people in this general email list, 4 of whom she knew as mutual friends) This was violating her privacy and if I have any respect for her I would refrain from doing so. I find out from another mutual friend she sends jokes to her all the time on a communal email list and has never given her any grief. But for some reason the problem is only with me. Another time I stopped into where she worked (an open community youth centre) to say hello and see if she wanted to grab a bite to eat. The effort was futile since she was not even there. We chatted later that evening about nonsense and unrelated things and I did mention I was looking for her to hang out with. She said she had the day off.. no matter. The next morning I get another long and threatening email explaining why I should never go to her workplace looking for her unexpectedly without calling and that she felt I was being intrusive. Since that email we got into a back and forth email dispute that has now resulted in a one year long silent treatment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 hmm very interesting stories....lets keep 'em coming Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I eject people from my life, who aren't real friends. Life's too short. This doesn't mean we're not civil. You can be civil and not be close. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Frenemies.. Ha! Good term for them! I am not sure that they are that easy to spot. The last person as such tried to use our friendship to get my Hubby! Thankfully he wasnt interested .. but she made a very strategic play for him. It took me a while to cotton on that that was her game.. him too Apart from that she was a good friend but obviously I had to shut her down after that. I tend not to worry about peoples intentions too much as long as they havent been to my home and then turned out to be fakes. That feels like more of a violation than frenemies who try to copy/are too bitchy etc. Take care, Eve xx Link to post Share on other sites
Miscommune Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Yes, ex-best friend: Good: Always present Bad: Self-absorbed, insecure, self esteem issues, wants to compete all the time. I have this friend and it's almost the same exact situation, she's insecure, with self esteem issues, and wants to compete ALL the time. We have a lot of the same classes together so we see each other a lot during school and even outside of school because we both play tennis. So she's definatly present all the time, but probably not in the way you ment it lol. She's there but i can't talk to her about anything. It's to the point where i have just given up on trying to talk to her about any important issues. And i think it's is because i fell like she has a lot of bitterness and anger toward the world in general, and i know that most of it is b/c she has 0 self-esteem. It's gotten to the point where she's bitter and rude to me and is literally up my ass about all my problems, i tell myself that it's just cause she's trying to take her frustrations out on me, but it's so constant i dont know anymore. And i know i have a lot of faults but i dont sit there and try to pull out all of her problems and shove them in her face. I'm dealing with mine the best i can and i feel she should do the same. I know this sounds terrible, but i just want to give up and try to slowly pull away, but we've been best friends for 3 years. And we still have to be around each other a lot because if school and mutual friends. The tension has just been growing and growing we have constant little tiffs. She'll be talking to me like she's trying to attack me with words, and when i'm rude to her right back, she gets offended. I don't know what to do anymore. =/ Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 I will only keep a frenemy in the workplace ~ where the back stabbing can become an issue if you don't keep them close to you. I worked with a girl that loved to start crap/gossip/drama on a daily basis. I kept it friendly with her to keep her closer rather than become a target. Since we spent so much time together, often on the road together- I made her a friend rather than a foe. Link to post Share on other sites
FloaterShimmy Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 There's an old saying that goes something like... let me think... aha!: keep your friends close, and your frenemies closer. Or maybe that's the newer, cooler version. Whatever. The salient point to this nutshell of wisdom is that angry sex is always a lot more satisfying. Naturally, if your frenemies no longer have benefits, then it's probably time to put them behind you (and cover your arse). Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 the chic i hate at work..... yet we both play nice, and i care about her family and her- i just do not like her or how she treats others. an x-friend- i was new at college, she was new too and new to the area. i had a good time when we went out- we played pool and she was outgoing. then i realized she was more obscene and inappropriate than outgoing... and she was super spoiled and selfcentered Link to post Share on other sites
m-j Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 the good - fun to hang out with, very giving, has a quirky, alternative view of the world, upbeat and positive, similar interests to me, lives with me and we share clothes and have girly nights etc the bad - scathing, resents being giving, immature, constantly pushes the boundaries with my boyfriend (they were "best friends" before i met either of them), reckless, "fails to realise" if her boobs pop out of her top or if she is flashing her underwear, irresponsible and generally irritating when she is in a girly flirtatious bouncy loud mood the ugly - she is basically bi-polar and not to be trusted but living under the same roof and is best friends with me and my boyfriend! One of those "when she's good, she's very, very good but when she's bad she's a f***ing disaster" types. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts