on Friday and Saturday when you dont have a man

[9Lives]

I am single and I often feel like on Friday and Saturday I want to do something but I dont have a man to do it with. I am getting to old to be in the clubs and I dont always want to be around just women. I just dont know what to do with myself. I am trying to see what others do to enjoy their lives on the weekends with a man/woman

 

whats up

[nobody's girl]

Be selfish. Do things you want to do.

 

I enjoy the "me time" I'll turn off the phone, open a bottle of wine, make myself my favorite snacks, and read a good book in the bath tub or watch a movie. Sometimes I'll do a facial and other spa-type things. Anything to just relax and unwind. It's very rejuvenating.

 

If I have a whole day to myself, I'll check out the events calendar in the local newspapers. There's always a festival or fair or class going on somewhere - often free or low cost. I've found some of my friends don't always share an interest in learning new things like I do. Rather than invite someone to join me who is just going to complain about how lame something is, I go alone. That way I meet new people and learn new things. And if I don't like it, I can leave without having to check with the person I came with who may not want to leave.

 

I'm also a member of several local meet up groups. Again, some of them are a little out there but I find interesting. So if they're doing something I might want to experience, I sign up to attend.

 

And, you can't beat a long walk in the woods either alone or with your favorite canine companion. I take the dogs hiking quite a bit. It's much more pleasant to do that alone - no need to talk to someone so you hear and see a whole lot more.

 

There's plenty to do, you just have to look for it and find out what interests you.

[ReturnToSender]

I have a man and alone on fri and sat nights...hah! I actually had more fun when I was single...cause then I wasnt thinking about how my own guy didnt want to be out with me. But I digress...

 

I like live music...and its something that people of all ages enjoy..I know Im going to run into people who I share somethign in common with (the music/the place) and I always end up having a good time. We also have different festivals and street fairs that I like going to. Theres always charity events, the museum, or just playing tourist for a day...if someone was coming in to visit from out of town, where would you take them? Thats where you go.

 

I have felt wierd going out by myself, but with the right outlook, I dont end up by myself...strike up convo, talk to people, and cause youre doing stuff you enjoy, youll be around people who like the same things you do...and will likely tell you about other stuff around town youd lke.

 

Eventually, youll start seeing familiar faces and be able to have people you look forward to seeing when you go out...thats how I met most of the friends I have now...I got out of the house! Its *terrifying* at first, but it works..and its worth it.

 

I need to start doing this again my own dang self.

[9Lives]

Be selfish. Do things you want to do.

 

I enjoy the "me time" I'll turn off the phone, open a bottle of wine, make myself my favorite snacks, and read a good book in the bath tub or watch a movie. Sometimes I'll do a facial and other spa-type things. Anything to just relax and unwind. It's very rejuvenating.

 

If I have a whole day to myself, I'll check out the events calendar in the local newspapers. There's always a festival or fair or class going on somewhere - often free or low cost. I've found some of my friends don't always share an interest in learning new things like I do. Rather than invite someone to join me who is just going to complain about how lame something is, I go alone. That way I meet new people and learn new things. And if I don't like it, I can leave without having to check with the person I came with who may not want to leave.

 

I'm also a member of several local meet up groups. Again, some of them are a little out there but I find interesting. So if they're doing something I might want to experience, I sign up to attend.

 

And, you can't beat a long walk in the woods either alone or with your favorite canine companion. I take the dogs hiking quite a bit. It's much more pleasant to do that alone - no need to talk to someone so you hear and see a whole lot more.

 

There's plenty to do, you just have to look for it and find out what interests you.

 

 

Damm this was helpful!!!! I dont mind be single because I rather be single than in a unfulfilling relationship but I truly did not know what to do. I am so glad you gave me some idea. PLEASE KEEP IN TOUCH!! I am very interested in your ideas for having a FABULOUS SINGLE LYFESTYLE. I believe it can be great if you know how to make it happen. Please stay in touch with other ideas. Thanks

[nobody's girl]

Over the years, my single/alone time has given me the opportunity to:

 

learn karate

learn oil painting and rhythmic drawing

volunteer with a non profit dog rescue

do some volunteer rescue transport for dogs, cats, and once a turtle

become a volunteer tutor with the local literacy council

go spelunking

go indoor rock climbing

learn woodburning

learn soap and stone carving

train my dogs as therapy dogs, flyball dogs, and agility dogs

explore various hiking trails around the state and in nearby states

found a really neat little non-denominational chapel hidden in a grove

explore antique stores and learn a little about antiques

attend estate auctions (and garage sales)

go back to school part time (1-2 classes a semester)

take a seminar in grant writing and one in marketing non profits

learn line dancing

sky diving

gardening

herbalism

fishing

papier mache

needle felting

 

Still on my list of things to do are:

 

fencing

disc dog, canine freestyle and SAR dog training

swing and/or salsa dancing

cake baking/decorating

gourmet cooking

bungee jumping

kayaking

snorkeling/scuba diving

writing

photography

and whatever else happens to catch my fancy

 

I admit I'm a little ADD and sometimes only do things a few times before dropping them. But the point is I'm willing to try them; either alone or with friends. When I suggested spelunking to friends, every one of them refused to join me. But I met some people while going it alone that have since become friends.

 

A lot of these things you can do once or twice and then decide if you want to continue. Someone gave me a gift certificate to the indoor rock climbing place. So I got a few free lessons. I really enjoyed it and was looking into doing some outdoor climbing but broke my arm and had to have surgery to fix it. Never went climbing again due to weakness in that arm. But I recently learned about a place near me that rents kayaks. So I may head that way some weekend and rent a kayak for an afternoon. If I like it, I'll go back a few more times. If I don't then so be it.

 

Some of the things I've done I still do and continue whether I'm dating someone or not; mostly the dog activities since they're part of my life. Yes there was a time when I wasn't dating anyone and I was at school 2-3 nights a week, at dog training 2 nights a week, and doing rescue and transport driving on the weekends. All while working full time. So there wasn't much time for dating. But I needed that time for me. Some of the things I was doing ended up dropping off for one reason or another and then I found myself with more time and met someone I dated for a while. When we stopped dating, I picked up another activity to entertain myself.

 

I think/hope it helps to make me a well rounded person. And, when I meet a guy and start dating, we always have something interesting to talk about. Nothing starts a conversation better than "Did I tell you about the time I went skydiving?" LOL!

 

The internet is a great place for exploring. Anything you've ever read or heard about has a website. You can find out if there's any place in your area where you can learn more. Then if you like it, there are always online forums for that activity so you can learn more and meet people.

[9Lives]

You are soooooo interesting. I Love that!!! You are doing it!!! that is what I am talking about. Just enjoying life and keeping yourself entertained. Thanks so much. Alot of people just dont know why to enjoy their lives without a mate. I dont want to be that kind of person. I want to be happy when I am not in a relationship and I dont want to spend my whole single time looking for a man. I want to be free and when it happens I have alot to talk about cause I have been enjoying my OWN life. You are AWESOME!!! I am so impressed. Anytime you want to add to my life...feel completely free

[LucreziaBorgia]

I'm in the same boat. To be honest, I spend most of my time (when my daughter isn't here) sleeping, reading and playing on the internet. I feel like I'm dying inside (because honestly - I am a 'couple' person and will never really be happy alone), but hey.. I'm well rested and relaxed, at least.

[9Lives]

I'm in the same boat. To be honest, I spend most of my time (when my daughter isn't here) sleeping, reading and playing on the internet. I feel like I'm dying inside (because honestly - I am a 'couple' person and will never really be happy alone), but hey.. I'm well rested and relaxed, at least.

 

well I love being in relationships too but I want to learn how to be content out of one too. It just says something about a person who can be single and fabulous. I think it makes you more attractive, you learn more about yourself, you are more interesting. It it alot of good that comes with learn how to be Single and FABULOUS. Just like relationship take work ....being single takes work. And it is well worth all of it.

 

I love being in relationship but I find they are also draining if you are not with the right person who WANTS to be there and MAKE it work.

[nobody's girl]

I guess what it all comes down to is be brave and be comfortable with yourself. There is nothing wrong with going solo. You never know what you're going to experience when you go out on an adventure by yourself. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's boring, personally I think the not knowing is the most exciting part of it.

 

I've got a friend who wanted to travel to a specific store in a city in the next state over for a specific item. But he couldn't find anybody to go with him. So instead of going by himself, he decided he didn't want the item after all. That's just nuts, IMO. Sure it's more fun when you have someone to talk to, especially on a long drive, but it can be just as interesting to go by yourself, stop when and where you want, listen to whatever music (or book on tape) you want.

 

I think society has pounded it into our heads that you HAVE to have someone with you or you're a loser. I don't think that's true. I think it shows great strength to be comfortable with yourself. And if you're comfortable with yourself, it's easier to be comfortable with others.

 

I do want to say that I firmly believe if you are a single woman and you're out doing things on your own, you should make sure to let someone know when/where you're going. And I also believe you should carry mace or take a self defense class or something like that. Take a wrong turn and you can find yourself in a scary place (I know this from personal experience). But I have self defense training and I'm fairly comfortable in thinking I can defend myself if necessary.

 

Oh, and I have to say that one of the reasons for doing all the things in your spare time is that it can really help take your mind off of your situation if you're single (or have a crush on someone). I tend to get obsessive and can make myself crazy. I had a major crush on a guy that was totally one sided. He was on my mind all the time. Except when I was in a training class with the dog or whatever. I'd get out of class and think "Oh, I didn't think about him for the past hour" pretty soon I was saying "Oh, I didn't think about him all day until now" Really helped me get over the whole situation.

 

It is very easy to get into a situation that LB is in (not that there's anything wrong with it!) but sometimes you get into such a rut you can't find your way out. Pick one interesting thing to do a week and pretty soon you're looking forward to that and looking for other interesting things to do.

 

Anyway, that's life according to me.

[LucreziaBorgia]

I have to say that society does do its share of pushing the 'couple' thing, but in my case it isn't society. Some people, like myself just aren't cut out for 'single and fabulous'. Particularly not at my age and stage in life. Not to mention my fairly limited income.

 

I'm more of a 'giver' personality - a nurturer, a provider, and so on. When there is no one on the other end, I just feel lost.

 

I'm accepting it though. The odds of a 'happily ever after' for a divorced single mother my age are very low. There are exceptions - everyone knows a 'so and so' that got married and ended up happy - but for every one there are thousands that don't.

 

I'm working on the 'rut' thing. Just working on a way out.

 

I would love to find a way to be content, but I can tell you - there isn't much help out there for that. You see mostly 'coping' with being single rather than 'enjoying' being single.

[Chrome Barracuda]

I am single and I often feel like on Friday and Saturday I want to do something but I dont have a man to do it with. I am getting to old to be in the clubs and I dont always want to be around just women. I just dont know what to do with myself. I am trying to see what others do to enjoy their lives on the weekends with a man/woman

 

whats up

 

So what's stopping you from using E-harmony or match.com???

 

Or what's stopping you from asking out attractive men who do find you interesting. be aggressive sometimes. it does work. If a girl lets' a man knows she's serious he will possibly return the favor. A man gets tired of being rejected alot. sometimes the woman has to put herself out there on the line.

[nobody's girl]

I have to say that society does do its share of pushing the 'couple' thing, but in my case it isn't society. Some people, like myself just aren't cut out for 'single and fabulous'. Particularly not at my age and stage in life. Not to mention my fairly limited income.

 

I'm more of a 'giver' personality - a nurturer, a provider, and so on. When there is no one on the other end, I just feel lost.

 

I'm accepting it though. The odds of a 'happily ever after' for a divorced single mother my age are very low. There are exceptions - everyone knows a 'so and so' that got married and ended up happy - but for every one there are thousands that don't.

 

I'm working on the 'rut' thing. Just working on a way out.

 

I would love to find a way to be content, but I can tell you - there isn't much help out there for that. You see mostly 'coping' with being single rather than 'enjoying' being single.

 

Big picture: it’s not about finding someone or being with someone. Actually, if you go into anything thinking “Maybe I’ll meet someone” you’re going to be disappointed. I know that from personal experience!

 

It’s more about doing something for your soul, and if you meet someone in the process, that’s just a bonus. And you’re perfect for it because you are a giver. Any volunteer organization would be delighted to have someone like you. You give of yourself and you’ll get so much in return. Actually everybody wins.

 

Take, for example, volunteering as a tutor. And I use this example because I’m familiar with it. You donate your time helping someone get their GED or learn English as a second language.

 

You get:

a reason to get out and do something instead of just staying at home

an opportunity to be the giver that you are

to meet new people

to make new friends

the feeling that you’ve helped someone

entc

 

They (the organization and the student) get:

a caring volunteer

an education

a new friend

etc.

 

It’s a win-win situation. And it takes your mind off of being single, if only for a few hours. Even if you don’t do something where you volunteer, you’re still doing something where you’re not thinking about being single. Case in point: one of my dogs recently started a new training class. Every handler in the class is a woman, as is the trainer. Not much chance of meeting somebody new there unless someone says they have a brother/friend/coworker that’s single.

 

But for the hour we’re there, I’m focused on working with my dog and forget everything else, including that I’m broke, unemployed and single. And I have to say my absolute favorite part of being in the class is seeing a dog/handler team that has trouble with something and finally gets it. I’m the first one cheering them on. It just makes me so happy to see them so happy and successful.

 

I’m not going to say I’m enjoying being single, I’d love to find someone to settle down with. But I’m not going to let my single status prevent me from doing things or let it take over my life. I’m going to do what I want and be content (for lack of a better word) with me – until something (or rather someone) better comes along. And if in the process I learn something new, make a new friend, meet someone who is a potential mate, or just experience something unusual then I figure it’s a win. It’s got to be better than sitting home every night staring at the TV.

 

My step father had a favorite saying “If you don’t buy a ticket you can’t win the prize” I know I’ll never meet someone if I’m hiding at home all the time. Unless Prince Charming is a pizza delivery guy. So I may spend a few weekends home relaxing, but I always try to find something to do to occupy my time. Again, I don’t do things thinking “Oh I’ll meet somebody” but I do put myself out there because otherwise I absolutely won’t meet somebody (especially since I can’t afford pizza these days).

 

Am I making sense or just rambling?

[LucreziaBorgia]

I'm going to step gracefully out of the thread now. I just found out about an hour ago that I am pregnant! This changes everything.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

I'm going to step gracefully out of the thread now. I just found out about an hour ago that I am pregnant! This changes everything.

Oh! wow now thats something I didn't expect to read hope everything works out OK for you LB..

[9Lives]

I have to say that society does do its share of pushing the 'couple' thing, but in my case it isn't society. Some people, like myself just aren't cut out for 'single and fabulous'. Particularly not at my age and stage in life. Not to mention my fairly limited income.

 

I'm more of a 'giver' personality - a nurturer, a provider, and so on. When there is no one on the other end, I just feel lost.

 

I'm accepting it though. The odds of a 'happily ever after' for a divorced single mother my age are very low. There are exceptions - everyone knows a 'so and so' that got married and ended up happy - but for every one there are thousands that don't.

 

I'm working on the 'rut' thing. Just working on a way out.

 

I would love to find a way to be content, but I can tell you - there isn't much help out there for that. You see mostly 'coping' with being single rather than 'enjoying' being single.

 

I understand how you feel. I dont think single and fabulous has ANYTHING to do age. It is a attitude. You Have to enjoy your only life you have. With or without a man

 

I am a giver myself. So I give to my friends, family, co-workers, kids, myself, my clients. The giving can continue to go on. It is just in a different way.

 

You are in a rut cause you wont teach yourself to how to enjoy the single lifestyle. I REFUSE to let that happen to me because I dont know when I will be in another relationship. I have to learn to be single and enjoy it. Also, whose to say the next guy I meet will be the one. It might not. I dont want to be afraid to be single and stay with a fella that I need to get away from.

 

I have a book called Single The art of being satisfied and fulfilled. It has helped me alot.

 

I hope you get past this stage in your life for you. I think you will become much more happy if you really explore it and quite surprised. It doesnt mean you dont have to date or you have to be by yourself. It just means that you can be HAPPY as a single person and let love in you flow. The one for you will love you for it I believe. It works. I just have to keep reminding myself to keep growing and going. Nobodys girl really helped me get my mind back on track

[9Lives]

So what's stopping you from using E-harmony or match.com???

 

Or what's stopping you from asking out attractive men who do find you interesting. be aggressive sometimes. it does work. If a girl lets' a man knows she's serious he will possibly return the favor. A man gets tired of being rejected alot. sometimes the woman has to put herself out there on the line.

 

I want to step to a man that I think is attractive but I am sooooo shy. I want to but I really get scared. How do I overcome that? I want to do it so bad

[9Lives]

I'm going to step gracefully out of the thread now. I just found out about an hour ago that I am pregnant! This changes everything.

 

wow!!! I didnt expect you to say that. At least somebody getting some loving

[Chrome Barracuda]

Well you gotta swallow your insecurities and let your guard down...

 

next flirt a little, smile and just ask if he'd like to hang out sometime. It aint hard.

 

C'mon you a female you got those womanly wilds! lol. use them.

 

But here's a turnoff, you want to be attractive but not overtly slutty. classy but a leave the hoish stuff for when your riding his brains out.

 

Guys like when a woman approach them. believe it or not. if he's putting out signals then you'd know it Anything else besides the shyness?

[9Lives]

 

I’m not going to say I’m enjoying being single, I’d love to find someone to settle down with. But I’m not going to let my single status prevent me from doing things or let it take over my life. I’m going to do what I want and be content (for lack of a better word) with me – until something (or rather someone) better comes along. And if in the process I learn something new, make a new friend, meet someone who is a potential mate, or just experience something unusual then I figure it’s a win. It’s got to be better than sitting home every night staring at the TV.

 

?

 

I dont want to be single forever but relationship are very stressful to me. It is good when it is good but it is bad when it is bad. People change too. If I dont change and he changes....that puts me in a situation where I am forced to live my life differently now cause you changed. Trying be with another person is alright. I have been in relationships most my life and I said I was going to be solo for about a year just to see if I can truly enjoy it.

[9Lives]

Well you gotta swallow your insecurities and let your guard down...

 

next flirt a little, smile and just ask if he'd like to hang out sometime. It aint hard.

 

C'mon you a female you got those womanly wilds! lol. use them.

 

But here's a turnoff, you want to be attractive but not overtly slutty. classy but a leave the hoish stuff for when your riding his brains out.

 

Guys like when a woman approach them. believe it or not. if he's putting out signals then you'd know it Anything else besides the shyness?

 

OMG!!! okay I am going to try it and I will tell you how it worked out when I do it. I am already scared and I havent even done it. lol...okayyyyy I will try it soon

[Chrome Barracuda]

OMG!!! okay I am going to try it and I will tell you how it worked out when I do it. I am already scared and I havent even done it. lol...okayyyyy I will try it soon

 

AWESOME,

 

But I must warn you that there are men who will sense a hint of desperation and will use it to their advantage they will try to bed u. and use u.

 

Be aware of your surroundings and who you approach. Weed out the idiots and get to the good core ones.

[9Lives]

AWESOME,

 

But I must warn you that there are men who will sense a hint of desperation and will use it to their advantage they will try to bed u. and use u.

 

Be aware of your surroundings and who you approach. Weed out the idiots and get to the good core ones.

 

Thanks Coach Chrome. i will be in touch. AINT NOBODY USING ME FOR ASS..OR MONEY...OR WHATEVER...

[Chrome Barracuda]

Thanks Coach Chrome. i will be in touch. AINT NOBODY USING ME FOR ASS..OR MONEY...OR WHATEVER...

 

LMAO go head shorty go on and put it down!