alexandra_28 Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 Okay...so, i've been with my boyfriend for 8 years now. A couple of years back, he cheated on my with this girl from his old school. I broke it off with him for a year after I found out so he had to go through all the hoops to get me back until finally he did. i don't understand myself though, i mean i've forgiven him for what he did to me before. besides, we were younger then and prolly didn't know half the things we were doing. BUT i still have my moments wherein i'd be so paranoid as to whether he's still talking to that girl or whether they still meet up or what not. See he's in another state now, and i only see him twice a year, summer and christmas. I've been kind of "in-touch" (lol i checked her twitter page) with the girl and i know that she went to where my boyfriend is a couple of months back. She didn't really say much about that trip in her page so i don't really know if they did hook up or whatnot. I just really hate how this makes me feel. And i feel bad for my boyfriend that he has to soothe these "moodswings" whenever they hit. Sometimes it makes me cry, yet its been almost 4 years since that happened. U guys might have any advice Link to post Share on other sites
LoveWinsAll Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 I'm in a similar situation so all I can do is tell you what I do - remember he's with you. My boyfriend and I are also in long distance, and whenever i freak out he reminds me he wouldn't even try to have a relationship that is that far and long unless he really wanted to and unless he really loved me - it wouldn't be worth it. So realize he must really love you if he fought that hard to get you back, and he's okay with seeing you only twice a year - guys, unfortunately, flirt a lot with people and quite often don't notice it, but at the end of the day its you he wants to be with and you he thinks about. They also tend not to like to break ties with anyone they were close to no matter how absurd it may seem to the person they're dating (like you). So be brave and remember that you love each other and you can trust him. I don't know if this helps, but thats what I always tell myself. And make sure you talk about them people may say that eventually he'd get fed up with the paranoia, but I am an extremely paranoid person, and my boyfriend doesn't like it, but he wants me to tell him anytime i feel that way - if you don't the feeling stays with you and builds up. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Okay...so, i've been with my boyfriend for 8 years now. A couple of years back, he cheated on my with this girl from his old school. I broke it off with him for a year after I found out so he had to go through all the hoops to get me back until finally he did. i don't understand myself though, i mean i've forgiven him for what he did to me before. besides, we were younger then and prolly didn't know half the things we were doing. BUT i still have my moments wherein i'd be so paranoid as to whether he's still talking to that girl or whether they still meet up or what not. See he's in another state now, and i only see him twice a year, summer and christmas. I've been kind of "in-touch" (lol i checked her twitter page) with the girl and i know that she went to where my boyfriend is a couple of months back. She didn't really say much about that trip in her page so i don't really know if they did hook up or whatnot. I just really hate how this makes me feel. And i feel bad for my boyfriend that he has to soothe these "moodswings" whenever they hit. Sometimes it makes me cry, yet its been almost 4 years since that happened. U guys might have any advice Unfortunately, as long as you are with him, those feelings of uncertainty won't ever go away. When that level of trust is broken by cheating, it'll never fully recover and there will always be a cloud lingering over your head. Contrary to any book, article or magazine describing the different types of cheaters.. In the end, they're all the same and they all inflict the same amount of damage. If I were you, I'd walk away from him and find a guy that's not only closer, but will set your mind at ease. Good Luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Brady_to_Moss Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Let me just say 8 years and not married!!?? God i could never do that!! Back to the subject...you need to get rid of him. Like said before you will always have those uneasy feelings for as long as your with him. Once you break trust...its almost impossible to get back... Goodluck Link to post Share on other sites
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