datura_noir Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Who didn't resume contact with their AP or keep in touch? I don't know how I would deal with it, I think I just would have stayed gone. After the initial discovery, which was 12 hours before he was to go out of the country for work, he emailed me on day 7 to let me know that the company was requesting he stay there for another week, and he would let me know when he was flying back. I later found out that he had left that country and booked a flight to go see her for the next 10 days, two of which included a hotel stay away from her parents. At that point I told him I was done and to have a good life. Within hours after I found out, he had emailed the OW (I never asked him to), and stated that he didn't see the point of continued contact with her, and to please not contact him. That was it, over and done.He stated to me that the trip to see her was to confirm that there was nothing there, and that neither of them thought it was worth the pain...(BTW, I didn't beleive that story). So it's been over two years, and I have to give him credit for ending the communication the way he did; if there had been little emails or texts (from him, she did call and email, I got to see them), I would have moved out with my sister sooner. I guess I was just wondering, since it seems so common for the communicating to continue for a while, until it peters out..... Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Is he a former H or a former Wanderer? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author datura_noir Posted September 13, 2009 Author Share Posted September 13, 2009 He is formerly wayward; very remorseful and schooled. Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 How remorseful can he be when after discovery date, he continue to have hotel sex with his mistress? Does he cry every day? Did he suffer any consequences at all? ????????????????????????????????????????????? In answer to your question, DN... My husband also did not continue to have contact. Link to post Share on other sites
seren Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 My H had no contact with OW, ended it with a text to say it's over and despite me saying he should contact to give OW closure (she was very cut up) has never been back in touch. He was relieved it was over (so was I)!! OW tried to initiate contact, H showed me the emails and acccess to the answer messages. In a strange way his offhand treatment of the OW really peed me off, which is a bit warped. If H had made any attempt to meet with her after it had all resolved I would question wtf he was thinking, even if he did cancel. I wouldn't want a petering out. An end of, a complete severance was the only way it would have, and has worked for us. Link to post Share on other sites
MistyK Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 Who didn't resume contact with their AP or keep in touch? I don't know how I would deal with it, I think I just would have stayed gone. My xMM never actually stopped communicating with me unless I ended it. Even then, he'd only respect it for a few days. But I know he was telling his W the whole time that we were NC (he told me so later). Link to post Share on other sites
aeh Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 Who didn't resume contact with their AP or keep in touch? I don't know how I would deal with it, I think I just would have stayed gone. After the initial discovery, which was 12 hours before he was to go out of the country for work, he emailed me on day 7 to let me know that the company was requesting he stay there for another week, and he would let me know when he was flying back. I later found out that he had left that country and booked a flight to go see her for the next 10 days, two of which included a hotel stay away from her parents. At that point I told him I was done and to have a good life. Within hours after I found out, he had emailed the OW (I never asked him to), and stated that he didn't see the point of continued contact with her, and to please not contact him. That was it, over and done.He stated to me that the trip to see her was to confirm that there was nothing there, and that neither of them thought it was worth the pain...(BTW, I didn't beleive that story). So it's been over two years, and I have to give him credit for ending the communication the way he did; if there had been little emails or texts (from him, she did call and email, I got to see them), I would have moved out with my sister sooner. I guess I was just wondering, since it seems so common for the communicating to continue for a while, until it peters out..... Same for my husband. I never asked him to go NC with her. (Hadn't processed it up to that point, was still in shock.). He did it of his own volition, texted her that I had read some texts and thought they were inappropriate (I'm sure at that point, that was his "code" to her that that was all that I knew about) and to never contact him again. He has insisted that she there has been no contact, although he did tell me that he really did think she would call him within the first week or two but that she never did. He thinks she's probably angry that he ended it by text. He said that the one thing he is thankful about is that she hasn't contacted him so he doesn't have to tell me that she has called/emailed/texted. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 After d-day (pick one) my H never considered contacting OW again. He just moved onto a new one. Link to post Share on other sites
foreal Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 Mine called MOW in front of me the day after Dday and told her it was over...then he wrote her a NC letter that I hung onto for about 2 weeks, then mailed myself. They work for same company and she has contacted him there a couple of times to express her anger at him for NC. My gut says it is over. I am going with my gut (which is what I should have done all along). I think he has no desire to see or hear from her...and that he has remained NC...but then again, what the hell do I know? !!! Link to post Share on other sites
seren Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 I think it's pretty crappy to have an A and let the OP think it's all that only to end it with a text. Even I as a BS could understand how bloody awful that was. I actually gave her more support than H, considering his was it's over after 8 months of an a is pretty brutal - yes I know an A after 25 years was brutal for me, but God!! man up and give closure properly. Similarly don't say she was a tart or stupid - don't disrespect her, she must have been something to risk our M for, if she wasn't then that would tick me off even more. Link to post Share on other sites
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