heavenly Posted November 23, 2003 Share Posted November 23, 2003 Hello Long time reader, first time poster I have this very strong gut feeling that my brother in law has a thing for me, mostly by the way he is acting: - He's obnoxious to me (teasing and such - nothing mean) when my husband is around...but very friendly when he's not. ie, he'll strike up a conversation, asking me about movies i've seen, telling me what's going on in his life, stuff like that. - I've caught him watching me numerous times in different situations - when we (me, hubby and him) are watching a DVD, when I'm playing with my daughter. Sometimes he looks away right away, sometimes he holds my gaze for a few moments - long enough to make me aware, anyway. - When my husband is not around he will stand closer to me (like almost close enough to touch me but not quite) while we're talking or looking at something; when hubby is around he tends to move farther away - Other misc stuff - his face gets red when he's talking to me sometimes, he'll smooth his hair a bit at times (usually after I've caught him looking and he looks away), he mirrors some of my actions. If you can't tell, I'm a big believer in body language. I've always been able to pretty accurately tell when a guy is attracted to me, but this one has me a bit confused. I don't want to confront him about it if I'm wrong and make things really weird between he and I or him and my husband. We (BIL & I) have always been on friendly terms and it's just recently that I've noticed these little things. So, I'm looking for some input and opinions on this...not on what I should or shouldn't do, just on whether my feeling sounds right in this case. I will admit that I'm flattered by the attention but have no desire to cheat on my husband. TIA! Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 Sounds like he's got a crush on you. Even though it's flattering, I would not encourage him and would act as if I didn't notice the way he's acting. Link to post Share on other sites
SamandBran Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 Is this your brother-in-law? Is that what BIL means? So, he's not a bro-in-law because of your sister is he? I hope not b/c you have not mentioned hurting her if you do act on his flirtations. If it's just your hubby's brother, I would definitely react to his "flirty" ways, but another time that you feel uncomfortable, I would talk to him about it when your hubby is not around. I would just let him know that I feel uncomfortable when he does this and that. Get the gist and don't make it sound so terrible that the two of you can't recover and remain on good terms. Just lay down the law a bit, so it doesn't go any further and leave it at that. If he ignores your warnings, then I would talk to my hubby then if I were you before things escalate. Good luck and keep us posted. Link to post Share on other sites
SamandBran Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 I meant to say I would NOT react to his "flirty" ways. Funny how a little typo can make such a big difference. Link to post Share on other sites
sparticuss Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 If you are a believer in body language then you are a fool. Look at your own gender. If a woman cries does that mean she is automativcally sad? Or happy? Or frustrated? Or nothing? You know that all of these a possible. What about damaged men? An abused man can go out, buy a gun, and blow his brains out , without shedding a single tear. So forget the body language. You are writing a million things into the normal interactions that go on between people. Link to post Share on other sites
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