next?

[FeelingLonely98]

yeah he could put her on the streets.................its obvious that is where he found the tart!!!!!!

 

soz but hell !!!!!!!!!!!!

 

nob xx

 

Nob - you never fail to make me smile. Keep it up...

Like someone else said ("2.50 Galloon"?) - your posts are refreshing and most welcome here on LS!!!!

[JaneDoe35]

Wow Jane, just read your thread. So, so sorry for what your husband has put you and your daughter through.

 

This man has lied, lied and told more lies to you. The OW is a piece of dirt as she lies when you first contacted her "I don't know what you are talking about...", and then to actually get angry at you for telling her H when she is f--king yours! You are nice because the paramedics would be trying everything possible to get my foot out of her a$$ and my fist out of his throat. Whew! okay let me calm down.

 

If I were you I would not even speak to H again. Is there anyone who can be your "mouthpiece" through this whole ordeal. I think your talking to him, hearing his voice is keeping you in pain. I understand you two have a daughter and certain things need to be discussed as well as finances; but if you have a sister or a close friend who can handle these conversations and relay back to you it would be better. I feel so sad for you.

 

 

Hi stillafool, thanks so much for your kind words. My daughter & I are so sad. He was our 'light'. I know that must sound stupid. When he returned each week from working away she & I would start to get so excited at least 2 hours before he would arrive. I would put perfume on etc and look pretty and she would get school awards and whatever else to show him.

 

When he arrived we would both hug and kiss him and then I would fix him his favourite drink. I would already have dinner on as I would have phoned him earlier in the day to see what he felt like.

 

I am not for one minute saying I was the perfect wife. I had my faults. But I think for at least 80% I was pretty bloody good. And the other 20% I could have worked on. Now I feel like a fool. How long was I being fooled by him? Even now he still says we had a really good marriage. Then why are you leaving?

 

My Dad will have to start doing all the communication re money/access etc as you are right - his voice kills me.

 

Not sure what to do when he picks up our daughter this Sunday. This will be the first time I have seen him since he told me that they are moving in together. Still cant believe that is actually happening.

 

Thanks so much for your support.

 

JD

[JaneDoe35]

Hi Jane Doe.

Know exactly how you feel. I found out a year ago that my H was cheating. We had been married 27 years and have 5 children. Our youngest daughter is 8.

He lost his job, due to affair, I had to change work (all 3 of us worked at the small school) and my daughter had to change schools.

It has not been an easy year and ,like you I felt that life wasn't worth living and tried very hard to save our marriage. Sad fact is that once your partner decides he wants out, nothing can change his mind.

Be there for your daughter. At 8 she will be very aware of the situation. If possible encourage her to see him and vice versa-

My daughter was heart broken at xmas as her father decided to be with his new family (the ow has a 9 year old daughter.)

Despite all the pain of the last year that was the lowest point for me- children don't deserve to be overlooked- and it made me view my H in a whole new light.

I'm not saying that my life is a bed of roses-far from it, but I have made some good, solid friends(male and female) and counselling is helping.

My life is not taking the path I expected but I have gradually come to accept that I am capable of moving forward by myself and standing strong ,being a positive role model for my family.

Thinking of you:bunny:

 

Hello worlybear (cute name)

 

Wow 27 years and 5 children!!!!! Sort of puts things in perspective for me.

 

I am also stunned at my husbands attitude towards his daughter. They were previously like two peas in a pod. Now it is like he avoids seeing her. Perhaps we are a reminder of his stupidity. I always make her available to him when he calls. He rarely sees her though. It hurts me to think she may feel the rejection I am feeling.

 

How long did it take you to feel the pain lifting? I cant seem to stop thinking about all this. It feels like I am falling into a pit of despair. I am very ashamed that I am not doing better.

 

Thanks so much - it means so much to me that there are so many caring people out there.

JD

[JaneDoe35]

yeah he could put her on the streets.................its obvious that is where he found the tart!!!!!!

 

soz but hell !!!!!!!!!!!!

 

nob xx

 

Oh nob - you are one funny lady!!! By the way, your trip to America sounds like it will be amazing.

[LisaUk]

Hi Jane

 

I've not had time to read all of your thread as I think you joined here just when I started uni, but I have read some of it in the last couple of days. I feel so bad for you and your daughther. Your H is clearly in MLC, but that does not excuse him, he still knows what he is doing, just like it says on that link that Tojaz passed to you.

 

As for the OW's text messages to you, well she's a child. Trust me on this, I don't mean to be disrespectful of 21/22 year olds, but I am at uni with them right now and although they seem mature, the undercurrent of immaturity runs underneath. Myself (34 like you Jane) and some of the other "mature" students on my postgrad often comment about how we feel like we are back in highschool sometimes, they will even gossiip and talk about each other behind each others backs, so silly. Anyway, like I said no offence to anyone, some of them are actually very mature, more so even than some of the older ones, but for the most part, no. That's why the silly, nasty text messages. Take no notice, she is not a blip on your radar, she truely is not worth your thoughts.

 

Hugs.

[JaneDoe35]

Hi Jane

 

I've not had time to read all of your thread as I think you joined here just when I started uni, but I have read some of it in the last couple of days. I feel so bad for you and your daughther. Your H is clearly in MLC, but that does not excuse him, he still knows what he is doing, just like it says on that link that Tojaz passed to you.

 

As for the OW's text messages to you, well she's a child. Trust me on this, I don't mean to be disrespectful of 21/22 year olds, but I am at uni with them right now and although they seem mature, the undercurrent of immaturity runs underneath. Myself (34 like you Jane) and some of the other "mature" students on my postgrad often comment about how we feel like we are back in highschool sometimes, they will even gossiip and talk about each other behind each others backs, so silly. Anyway, like I said no offence to anyone, some of them are actually very mature, more so even than some of the older ones, but for the most part, no. That's why the silly, nasty text messages. Take no notice, she is not a blip on your radar, she truely is not worth your thoughts.

 

Hugs.

 

Hey Lisa - so nice of you to take some time to post.

 

I think it is highly likely that this is MLC as nothing makes any sense. The link from Tojaz was very helpful.

 

I just cant decide whether to give up or keep trying.....my head says give up and my heart says keep trying.

 

Thanks especially for your comments in regards to the OW. I admit that I was crushed when I read her nasty messages. But you are right, I should take no notice. I did not respond to the messages. What could I say?

 

Lisa - I have read your story and I can only say that the guy who left you is a fool. We all know that. Sure we all have a part to play in our broken relationships - but to just run away and make getting any real answers almost impossible for you?? That is so wrong.

 

I believe that this year will be a really special one for you. You are a sweet, smart and brave young woman and you deserve nothing but the best. I know you still feel the pain but you are really getting there.

 

Thanks again,

Janexx

[tojaz]

I just cant decide whether to give up or keep trying.....my head says give up and my heart says keep trying.

 

Jane, I may be a romantic fool, but I have always believed you should follow your heart. Theres obviously a good chance of being hurt, but at least you'll know you've done all you could. When the heart gives up, you'll know.

TOJAZ

[JaneDoe35]

Jane, I may be a romantic fool, but I have always believed you should follow your heart. Theres obviously a good chance of being hurt, but at least you'll know you've done all you could. When the heart gives up, you'll know.

TOJAZ

 

Tojaz - you are not a fool, I have always followed my heart too. Just not sure when to quit. When he is married to her & has a baby? Or will I still be here hanging on to hope. God I hope not.

 

Lawyer visit - Is my lawyer strange?

 

Says that if husband & I go to war over this then we will be out of pocket about $60000 which will seriously deplete the asset pool. Says we should go to mediation and try & settle out of court. Made no promises of being able to get me this or that. Spoke a lot about the welfare of my daughter.

 

He was a nice man and he seemed to know his stuff. I do feel a little calmer after seeing him although I cried on the way home from his office.

 

I guess I assumed he would have said 'Let's go get him' or something to that affect. I was hoping he would have helped me to find my anger!!! Not like on TV at all, haha. Oh well, for the moment I will sit tight and see what husband does next. While trying to get a life of course?!?!?

[nobmagnet]

maybe you need a second oppinion on the lawyer front.

 

Here in blighty the carer of the child gets the propery until they reach 18.

 

The finance side of things is poo. It like a knife in the back when you are already feeling your worst. I wasnt married to lowly and it buts a spin on things my end. It means I have to sell my home. I am in the fortunate position that we have a whole lot of equity in the home so financially me and my kids will be ok.

 

i would keep you head down as you say. Let your dad deal with him. Wait till he asks again.

 

And then tell him (via dad) that it is not your responsibility to finance his new relationship. It is his choice to leave and set up with a new home with "THE TART" when he has a perfectly good home already complete with a stunning wife and adoring child.

 

 

git git git.

 

love to you Jane.

 

Nob x

[hopesndreams]

Perhaps it's time for your daughter to know the real reason why she has been shunned and rejected by her dad. She needs the truth too, otherwise, she will feel that she has done something wrong and at only 9 years of age, with many pivotal years in her development until she becomes a woman, it's a burden she must not carry. How will this affect her future? For her to know the truth a few years from now, would be too late.

 

Ideally, her dad should tell her. But, he is so off in outer space that the likelihood of that happening is zilch. It's all about him after all.

 

As long as he has his new, young bird swooning over him (cause, like she told you, she won the prize), his ex, you, still hoping, still in love with him even after he has rubbed the young bird in your face, the daughter, none the wiser about the real reasons for mummy and daddy no longer being together, his life will go on pretty much unaffected. He has faced nothing. He gets away with it.

 

You should go to mediation. Split up the assets. Completely end your delusions that he will come to his senses and go NC on his azz.

 

Shake him up a bit. There is nothing a narcissist hates more than being ignored.

 

Tell him, if he doesn't tell his daughter the truth, that you will, and mean it. Don't protect him any longer and don't meet any of his emotional needs, ever again. You owe him nothing. Respect yourself. If you don't, no one will.

[trippi1432]

Perhaps it's time for your daughter to know the real reason why she has been shunned and rejected by her dad. She needs the truth too, otherwise, she will feel that she has done something wrong and at only 9 years of age, with many pivotal years in her development until she becomes a woman, it's a burden she must not carry. How will this affect her future? For her to know the truth a few years from now, would be too late.

 

Ideally, her dad should tell her. But, he is so off in outer space that the likelihood of that happening is zilch. It's all about him after all.

 

As long as he has his new, young bird swooning over him (cause, like she told you, she won the prize), his ex, you, still hoping, still in love with him even after he has rubbed the young bird in your face, the daughter, none the wiser about the real reasons for mummy and daddy no longer being together, his life will go on pretty much unaffected. He has faced nothing. He gets away with it.

 

You should go to mediation. Split up the assets. Completely end your delusions that he will come to his senses and go NC on his azz.

 

Shake him up a bit. There is nothing a narcissist hates more than being ignored.

 

Tell him, if he doesn't tell his daughter the truth, that you will, and mean it. Don't protect him any longer and don't meet any of his emotional needs, ever again. You owe him nothing. Respect yourself. If you don't, no one will.

 

I agree that children need to be told the truth, in the case of my daughter (and since she was only 3 when my first ex and I split up), I opted to tell her the truth over the years as being that we were too young when we married and it didn't work out. She didn't need to know that her father was unfaithful (many times) during the entire relationship, but she did deserve to know that it was not her fault.

 

I now have a 14 year old son with my STBXH, and he does not want to see or know the truth. In fact, he likes his father's GF and tells me that his dad did not leave the relationship for her. I didn't have to tell him that, he could tell I was thinking it. Children are smart, they can figure things out on their own as they mature. Eventually, he will put the pieces together but just ensure that you do not say anything that you do not have solid proof of.

 

My advice is not to tell your daughter about her father's behavior, don't bring her down to your level of hurt, she will not understand it. The best that you can do is emphathize with her hurt and let her know the situation has nothing to do with her and that you both still love her.

 

Hugs Jane, hang in there.

[FeelingLonely98]

Jane, I may be a romantic fool, but I have always believed you should follow your heart. Theres obviously a good chance of being hurt, but at least you'll know you've done all you could. When the heart gives up, you'll know.

TOJAZ

 

the problem with following your heart is that the spouse may NEVER get out of the MLC fog they are in. Or it may be years. Either way you are being unfair to yourself and your child if you don't follow your head and move on. Three months I told my heart that NO, I will not continue to wait for my STBXW. She is also is with a child AP if you remember (18 yr old boy - though their age difference is a bit more than your H and his Gf - 29 yrs in my STBXW's case!!!!!!!!!). But I am SO much happier now. It all seems a bit fast now but I don't even miss the STBXW now and 4 months ago I thought I couldn't survive without her.

[FeelingLonely98]

Tojaz - you are not a fool, I have always followed my heart too. Just not sure when to quit. When he is married to her & has a baby? Or will I still be here hanging on to hope. God I hope not.

 

Lawyer visit - Is my lawyer strange?

 

Says that if husband & I go to war over this then we will be out of pocket about $60000 which will seriously deplete the asset pool. Says we should go to mediation and try & settle out of court. Made no promises of being able to get me this or that. Spoke a lot about the welfare of my daughter.

 

He was a nice man and he seemed to know his stuff. I do feel a little calmer after seeing him although I cried on the way home from his office.

 

I guess I assumed he would have said 'Let's go get him' or something to that affect. I was hoping he would have helped me to find my anger!!! Not like on TV at all, haha. Oh well, for the moment I will sit tight and see what husband does next. While trying to get a life of course?!?!?

 

My sister and her ex H's lawyers BOTH said to my Sis and her ex one day:

 

"you can send your children to college or you can send our children to college - work this out and stop fighting!"

[FeelingLonely98]

Perhaps it's time for your daughter to know the real reason why she has been shunned and rejected by her dad. She needs the truth too, otherwise, she will feel that she has done something wrong and at only 9 years of age, with many pivotal years in her development until she becomes a woman, it's a burden she must not carry. How will this affect her future? For her to know the truth a few years from now, would be too late.

 

I too think at this point letting the daughter know - without giving details - about her wayward Father... it's time

[FeelingLonely98]

My advice is not to tell your daughter about her father's behavior, don't bring her down to your level of hurt, she will not understand it. The best that you can do is emphathize with her hurt and let her know the situation has nothing to do with her and that you both still love her.

 

Hugs Jane, hang in there.

 

Respect trippi's opinion - but I still think you can tell you daughter something like "Your Daddy does not want to live here anymore - he loves you as much as ever - but for now he wants to live somewhere else. He has a new friend that you will probably meet one day and you should treat her nice, ... He is not moving away from you - it has nothing to do with you. Your Dad and I will always love you no matter what" / probably not written perfect but you get my drift. Ne details but talk to her in genearl terms. (My opinion only!!!)

[LisaUk]

Hey Lisa - so nice of you to take some time to post.

 

I think it is highly likely that this is MLC as nothing makes any sense. The link from Tojaz was very helpful.

 

I just cant decide whether to give up or keep trying.....my head says give up and my heart says keep trying.

 

Thanks especially for your comments in regards to the OW. I admit that I was crushed when I read her nasty messages. But you are right, I should take no notice. I did not respond to the messages. What could I say?

 

Lisa - I have read your story and I can only say that the guy who left you is a fool. We all know that. Sure we all have a part to play in our broken relationships - but to just run away and make getting any real answers almost impossible for you?? That is so wrong.

 

I believe that this year will be a really special one for you. You are a sweet, smart and brave young woman and you deserve nothing but the best. I know you still feel the pain but you are really getting there.

 

Thanks again,

Janexx

Thank you Jane for saying that, it means a h**l of a lot!

 

Jane, I may be a romantic fool, but I have always believed you should follow your heart. Theres obviously a good chance of being hurt, but at least you'll know you've done all you could. When the heart gives up, you'll know.

TOJAZ

 

You're not a romantic fool! You know how to love someone the way one person should love another.

 

 

Lawyer visit - Is my lawyer strange?

 

Says that if husband & I go to war over this then we will be out of pocket about $60000 which will seriously deplete the asset pool. Says we should go to mediation and try & settle out of court. Made no promises of being able to get me this or that. Spoke a lot about the welfare of my daughter.

 

He was a nice man and he seemed to know his stuff. I do feel a little calmer after seeing him although I cried on the way home from his office.

 

I guess I assumed he would have said 'Let's go get him' or something to that affect. I was hoping he would have helped me to find my anger!!! Not like on TV at all, haha. Oh well, for the moment I will sit tight and see what husband does next. While trying to get a life of course?!?!?

 

Jane, most lawyers now days to advocate the mediation process, espically when there are kids involved and you're right it is NOTHING like it is on TV! LOL However, I would recommend that you see at least one more lawyer (first 30 mins should be free in most firms), just to make sure you are comfortable, you should feel that they are going to to do the best for you, even if that does mean a bit of a fight, but they should also be realistic, not raise your expectations and the fact he told you upfront about escalting costs is a positive to my mind.

 

maybe you need a second oppinion on the lawyer front.

 

Here in blighty the carer of the child gets the propery until they reach 18.

 

The finance side of things is poo. It like a knife in the back when you are already feeling your worst. I wasnt married to lowly and it buts a spin on things my end. It means I have to sell my home. I am in the fortunate position that we have a whole lot of equity in the home so financially me and my kids will be ok.

 

 

Nob, did you jointly own the house? That is to say, were you on the title deeds/mortgage? If NOT, I MAY be able to offer you some legal info that could help your situation, obviously I'm not qualified yet, but if you want more info I am actually dong an essay on this very area right now. PM me if you think I can help.

[nobmagnet]

thank you darling!

 

its joint

 

i have 210k on my way.

 

rather have a familybut hec!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

mu hahhahha

 

nob

[hopesndreams]

thank you darling!

 

its joint

 

i have 210k on my way.

 

rather have a familybut hec!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

mu hahhahha

 

nob

 

After Dday, I told my H, "I would rather have you than a million dollars," his reply was "Thank you, that's nice of you to say."

 

Can't believe I meant it now.

[JaneDoe35]

Perhaps it's time for your daughter to know the real reason why she has been shunned and rejected by her dad. She needs the truth too, otherwise, she will feel that she has done something wrong and at only 9 years of age, with many pivotal years in her development until she becomes a woman, it's a burden she must not carry. How will this affect her future? For her to know the truth a few years from now, would be too late.

 

Ideally, her dad should tell her. But, he is so off in outer space that the likelihood of that happening is zilch. It's all about him after all.

 

As long as he has his new, young bird swooning over him (cause, like she told you, she won the prize), his ex, you, still hoping, still in love with him even after he has rubbed the young bird in your face, the daughter, none the wiser about the real reasons for mummy and daddy no longer being together, his life will go on pretty much unaffected. He has faced nothing. He gets away with it.

 

You should go to mediation. Split up the assets. Completely end your delusions that he will come to his senses and go NC on his azz.

 

Shake him up a bit. There is nothing a narcissist hates more than being ignored.

 

Tell him, if he doesn't tell his daughter the truth, that you will, and mean it. Don't protect him any longer and don't meet any of his emotional needs, ever again. You owe him nothing. Respect yourself. If you don't, no one will.

 

Hopesndreams...I have gone so close to telling her these last couple of days. 'Daughter, I need to talk to you about something', 'Yes Mummy, what about'? 'Ummm, how much I love you and how proud I am of you'

 

Just cant bring myself to say the words. I remember her reaction when I told her that Daddy was not coming back home to live. She cries quite often for him. I don't know if I can handle seeing her in anymore pain.

 

I feel that it is time to split the assets. It is just so final. But this is so final.

 

I have felt physically ill since I found out they were getting a place together. It really kills me. I don't know how to move past this. I have not spoken to him since I found out. How could he not see the psychological damage this is having on me? Is he not human?

 

How are you hopesndreams? You sound so strong. I wish I had a bit of that....

[JaneDoe35]

I agree that children need to be told the truth, in the case of my daughter (and since she was only 3 when my first ex and I split up), I opted to tell her the truth over the years as being that we were too young when we married and it didn't work out. She didn't need to know that her father was unfaithful (many times) during the entire relationship, but she did deserve to know that it was not her fault.

 

I now have a 14 year old son with my STBXH, and he does not want to see or know the truth. In fact, he likes his father's GF and tells me that his dad did not leave the relationship for her. I didn't have to tell him that, he could tell I was thinking it. Children are smart, they can figure things out on their own as they mature. Eventually, he will put the pieces together but just ensure that you do not say anything that you do not have solid proof of.

 

My advice is not to tell your daughter about her father's behavior, don't bring her down to your level of hurt, she will not understand it. The best that you can do is emphathize with her hurt and let her know the situation has nothing to do with her and that you both still love her.

 

Hugs Jane, hang in there.

 

 

Thankyou for your thoughts Trippi - I am at a loss of what to do next. I feel like I am in shock. I thought the pain could not get any worse. And then he does this?? Why not be on his own for a time?

 

He is sending me crazy as I am letting him. I don't want to care but I cant stop. I really want to separate my feelings from his actions.

 

Maybe it is time to settle and cut him out of my life.

 

I am too scared to tell my daughter about the latest development as she is still shattered about his other actions. Does he have no heart? These are the two people who love him the most.....and he is treating us like dirt in his search for 'happiness'. And he still expects me to understand and be there for him.

 

Thanks so much for your post Trippi.

JD

[JaneDoe35]

the problem with following your heart is that the spouse may NEVER get out of the MLC fog they are in. Or it may be years. Either way you are being unfair to yourself and your child if you don't follow your head and move on. Three months I told my heart that NO, I will not continue to wait for my STBXW. She is also is with a child AP if you remember (18 yr old boy - though their age difference is a bit more than your H and his Gf - 29 yrs in my STBXW's case!!!!!!!!!). But I am SO much happier now. It all seems a bit fast now but I don't even miss the STBXW now and 4 months ago I thought I couldn't survive without her.

 

 

FL - I wish I felt like you. I just want to be free of this anxiety. It cant be healthy to be always on the verge of tears. When your wife's boyfriend leaves her you will be long gone. I do not want to wait for my husband but I just cant seem to make a firm decision to be rid of him.

 

I am going to start reading every book about letting go I can get my hands on. I am also going to see my therapist more often. I am going to look into hypnotherapy. I sound desperate because I am. If I don't do something about this it will slowly kill me. For almost 5 months I have been living in constant agony. I have to end this and end it now.

 

JD

[hopesndreams]

FL - I wish I felt like you. I just want to be free of this anxiety. It cant be healthy to be always on the verge of tears. When your wife's boyfriend leaves her you will be long gone. I do not want to wait for my husband but I just cant seem to make a firm decision to be rid of him.

 

I am going to start reading every book about letting go I can get my hands on. I am also going to see my therapist more often. I am going to look into hypnotherapy. I sound desperate because I am. If I don't do something about this it will slowly kill me. For almost 5 months I have been living in constant agony. I have to end this and end it now.

 

JD

 

At 5 months was the time I started letting go. Here I am, still living and breathing, at 9 months in. Feeling better than I had ever been. You will too. Give yourself some credit. You are far more intelligent than he could ever dream of being.

 

You are a good, honest person. A good mother and a good wife. He lacked the brains and the heart to understand what he was throwing away.

[JaneDoe35]

At 5 months was the time I started letting go. Here I am, still living and breathing, at 9 months in. Feeling better than I had ever been. You will too. Give yourself some credit. You are far more intelligent than he could ever dream of being.

 

You are a good, honest person. A good mother and a good wife. He lacked the brains and the heart to understand what he was throwing away.

 

Thankyou so much hopes, I needed to hear that things are slowly getting better for you...

 

Tonight my daughter was quite upset. She opened up a little more & told me that she thought Daddy had a girlfriend already as when she saw him last - 22nd Dec - he happened to 'run into' a girl while shopping and invited this girl to play in the park.

 

For the entire time since my daughter has been carrying this around not wanting to tell me as she did not want my 'feelings to get hurt'. I am so very angry that my husband has done this.

 

My daughter said she was very confused and that while she was there visiting him 'Daddy was on the phone to this girl all the time or sleeping, I just mainly watched TV'.

 

Ok....I gave her the basic details of what has happened. She asked me why I didn't tell her in the beginning. I told her because I was not sure what was going to happen and that Daddy appeared undecided.

 

She says she now hates this girl because it is all her fault. I explained that it is also Daddy's fault and he has decided to leave the family.

 

Just cannot comprehend his total lack of thought or compassion for myself or his daughter. My daughter asked me why my husband still wants to kiss me and cuddle me when he visits. I said I didn't know.

 

JD

[nobmagnet]

ouch.

 

i havent told mine yet. I am hoping i dont need to...........it will fizzzle out. Your daughter is as asute as you my love. Its great she is opening up try to keep it going. questions and statements they make are painful but it helps them get their head around the situation.

 

When does he see your daughter again?

He might be in for a shock when she says it how it is! I hope she does. He needs reminding what a sh*t he is. He was a contender for sh*t of the year. He wasnt even good enough to win that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Niether was Lowly he hates to fail!

 

all the best jane xx

 

Nob x

[JaneDoe35]

ouch.

 

i havent told mine yet. I am hoping i dont need to...........it will fizzzle out. Your daughter is as asute as you my love. Its great she is opening up try to keep it going. questions and statements they make are painful but it helps them get their head around the situation.

 

When does he see your daughter again?

He might be in for a shock when she says it how it is! I hope she does. He needs reminding what a sh*t he is. He was a contender for sh*t of the year. He wasnt even good enough to win that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Niether was Lowly he hates to fail!

 

all the best jane xx

 

Nob x

 

 

Hey nob.....he came home today to see our daughter. Another very strange visit.

 

He was very teary and up & down. I remained very calm, don't know how. I told him not to give me the tears as that is manipulation.

 

He attempted to become intimate. I rejected him. (only after checking if he was for real - he was).

 

I know this will sound a bit silly but I felt a bit better after he tried that and gave me all the 'darling's' & 'sweetie's' etc. It made me think about the text message from the 21 year old saying that she had won. What has she really won??? He is already willing to cheat on her with me. Great prize......He is actually still adamant that he is single!!!!

 

I am also thinking we are moving closer towards settlement of property. He made me a written offer which I will seek legal advice on tomorrow. Of course it will still need to go through some court approval. I told him that I know how he operates when he is wheeling and dealing and I will not be bullied. He could see I meant it.

 

Absolutely devastated that it has come to this.

 

I believe I have attempted everything to save our marriage. Well maybe not, actually - I have never really just 'let go'. Well I tried but he kept calling me and I got sucked back in.

 

He took a few things from the house. It was hard to watch but I did not show that and actually offered up a couple of extra things. He was obviously distressed. I asked if he could return his wedding ring so I could put it with mine. He said he is not ready to do that yet.

 

I still love him. But I know that right now we cannot be together. Probably never. I also believe he loves me but it is like he just 'has to do this' although he cannot give me any real reasons as to why.

 

Thanks everyone for reading. I hope your situations end up better than mine has......

 

JD