rjistired Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 Hi. I do not know how to categorize what has happened in my life, not sure where this would go if would qualify as a relationship issue since a relationship never came about truly. Instead of posting a huge thread about my experience, it can be viewed on my homepage link. In brief summary, I had known, and grown up with, a family I had know for 25 years, since Kindergarten and up unto a few months ago had cut off communication with me because I had feelings for a woman of this family for a good 10 year period. She is 26 and I am 29. I have lost this family as friends after 25 years for the way that some matters taking place. This has really hurt me because certain parts of the family never really accepted me and the Mother has control over who can be with her daughters; they have to have good-solid jobs and money basically and the Father is from the old country, Sicily. I think you can catch what I'm getting at here? Well, my experience is on my homepage, I had that same link on my Yahoo profile but put an updated diary page there. I just might put that link back on my Yahoo profile. I find it very difficult to go day-by-day with having this woman on my mind and I cannot even contact her. A few people of this family had explicitly made it clear not to even ask going out as a friend with this daughter and I had always had to go through someone else in their family in relaying messages to this woman. I would like some suggestions or advice on how to cope with something like this. I have reasons to believe this family is into something deep, and acceptance being a minor issue. Thanks for all your time and I hope that others can learn from my story; if my situation is something you might recognize and you are thinking of asking someone out from a family like this, don't do it, you will lose trying. RJ Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 If they don't want you seeing their daughter, just forget about her. I know it's hard but the energy you will have to put into seeing her behind people's backs...and the fact that you will never be able to have a healthy relationship with her under the circumstances, makes it far more practical to just drop her and come to grips with the loss. There are millions of very nice ladies out there whose parents don't control them to this extent and with whom you could have a far easier time courting. You don't need the aggravation of pursuing a lady like this. Do whatever you have to do to realize this is just not going to happen. That's the bottom line. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rjistired Posted November 24, 2003 Author Share Posted November 24, 2003 What gets to me is that there are 5 brothers and 3 daughters is this family, 6 of them adults with the woman I love being the oldest, 26. Thing is she has no problem with me at all, she never did growing up. This was confirmed the last night I saw her and she drove me home. I believe it is because the parents are old school but this shouldn't be happening where adults are controlled by their parents, that's just crazy, I think. Besides her there isn't anyone that would interest me, I myself am an old fashioned guy and will remain this way until something breaks, if ever. I am basically a priss towards dating, going out, and I am stubborn. We have too much in common also. She is the one. Edited: I noticed I said 75 brothers by accident, lol, I fixed it. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 It would seem to me that it's HER responsibility to address the controlling issue within her family. You can't 'make it right' for her.....nor should you try. If she loved you enough....she would throw caution in to the wind....tell her family she is an ADULT.....and be with you. Until she makes such a move.....I'm with Tony.....move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rjistired Posted November 24, 2003 Author Share Posted November 24, 2003 Even though I don't like it, what you guys said is probably for the better. Never in a million years would I ever think the one's I've known all my life would just cut me off like this, not just the part about being without her but also the part about the relationship with the whole family. That's a like a double heartbreak. I think if she knew about it and I kept things more low profile then maybe I would be with her today, but then again maybe not since I think there would be interference along the way. The parents are old country, Italy, but gee, leave your kids alone and let them make their own decisions. It isn't the 1920's anymore. Sorry, it gets me steamed. This is going to be rough. Link to post Share on other sites
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