Yellowboy Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 First of all, my family has traveled to different countries so which income bracket we belong to changes depending on where we are. Generally I'd say we were average or above-average income class. I've always appreciated what we have because our parents taught us to value our things, always keep a budget and not lavishly spend on trivial things. We also lend a helping hand to anyone among our family and relatives when they need it. So now here's the problem. Whether it was in school or work or in my personal life, I'd come across someone who is rich and wealthy. They're the ones who have big houses that can accomodate more than the people that live there, the ones who buy a new car like every month, or ones who travel like every other week for vacation. Now if someone worked hard for their wealth, I am proud for their accomplishments. But their kids, who happen to be the people I meet are simply spoiled brats who have no grasp of what the normal real world is like. Some are arrogant and snobbish - the ones I hate most, others are nice but completely naive and sometimes strikes a nerve when they make a remark that actually offends me or others. Of course, they're remarks weren't meant to be malicious but me and my friends sometimes just roll our eyes like, oh boy here she goes again... And you know, I have not come across a rich kid who actually appreciates where he/she is coming from. I even stopped dating a girl when I found out she lives in this extremely expensive condo in the middle of the city. I resented her for being rich and some things she talks about which is completely out of touch from the ordinary lives of people. That doesn't necessarily make her a bad person. Also, I'm sure there are rich people that aren't like the people I describe, yet I have not met a single person like this so it doesn't help me change my perception. How do I stop thinking like this?
Pedigree Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Tolerate the nice but naive people. You don't want to show reverse snobbishness with a "You're not engaged in the real world, what do you know?" attitude. As for the arrogant and snobbish people, they can piss off.
Quinch Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I hope I don't win the lottery. I would hate for you not to like me So you're really saying that you don't hate rich people per se, you just hate snobby, arrogant people who don't value what they have?
Author Yellowboy Posted September 16, 2009 Author Posted September 16, 2009 Tolerate the nice but naive people. You don't want to show reverse snobbishness with a "You're not engaged in the real world, what do you know?" attitude. As for the arrogant and snobbish people, they can piss off. Yeah exactly. It's tough though...I mean, we can use the same argument with nice people but (unconsciously/ignorant) racist people. Can you tolerate that kind of person? Everyone has flaws and it's a question of how much people can tolerate it. I hope I don't win the lottery. I would hate for you not to like me So you're really saying that you don't hate rich people per se, you just hate snobby, arrogant people who don't value what they have? It tends to be the rich people because they were born with almost everything in their hands, hence they never learned to value what they have. It's a little bit different if someone doesn't value what they have that isn't based on wealth alone. Like for example, a talented guitarist. I already see him as well-talented, but he's never satisfied with it. Maybe perfectionism may come into play in this case as well, but I see it as him not valuing what he already has. If he appreciates his own skills and wants to get even better at it, that is the attitude I am looking for.
Pedigree Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Yeah exactly. It's tough though...I mean, we can use the same argument with nice people but (unconsciously/ignorant) racist people. Can you tolerate that kind of person? Everyone has flaws and it's a question of how much people can tolerate it. Obviously if you're dead set against an idea, it will strike a nerve when someone seems to be propagating it. But to me, if the person is being ignorant/naive, then it makes it more forgiveable. It's one thing bragging about going to Paris and staying at some luxury hotel. It's another thing not believing that not everyone can do that.
joseffrost Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I resented her for being rich That's the clincher. I was on the verge of agreeing with you up until then, but this just makes you sound jealous and embittered.
Lish Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I have to say, you've quite annoyed me, OP. I was born into a wealthy family and I can't help that, but while you're going on & on about rich kids offending YOU...? "Some are arrogant and snobbish - the ones I hate most, others are nice but completely naive and sometimes strikes a nerve when they make a remark that actually offends me or others" You really typed that out and didn't see the irony? Wow, just....wow. I am not big headed, I am not a "snob", I am not "arrogant" and nor am I "completely naive" - so please, while you're moaning about people offending you, try not to be so stereotypical and judgemental, yeah?
Author Yellowboy Posted September 16, 2009 Author Posted September 16, 2009 That's the clincher. I was on the verge of agreeing with you up until then, but this just makes you sound jealous and embittered. I'll admit I'm a bit jealous of their lifestyle, but I feel it's one of those things I'd want for just a day. I like my life relatively simple. Enough money to live by comfortably with few extra bucks for leisure here and there is all I ask for. Having a castle for a house, owning 3 cars...etc. etc. eh, not my kind of life. So I don't believe its just a jealousy thing. And don't get me wrong, I don't like myself feeling this way and to not date that girl for that reason alone was definitely not a good thing. I have to say, you've quite annoyed me, OP. I was born into a wealthy family and I can't help that, but while you're going on & on about rich kids offending YOU...? "Some are arrogant and snobbish - the ones I hate most, others are nice but completely naive and sometimes strikes a nerve when they make a remark that actually offends me or others" You really typed that out and didn't see the irony? Wow, just....wow. I am not big headed, I am not a "snob", I am not "arrogant" and nor am I "completely naive" - so please, while you're moaning about people offending you, try not to be so stereotypical and judgemental, yeah? Then I probably won't find you offensive AT ALL. You didn't read the last part? I said, if I meet a rich person who actually appreciates his/her wealth, that is the kind of person I would like to meet. Yes, it all sounds stereotype and being judgmental but take note that I only judge them after I've met them and hanged out with them. Their words, their actions, that's what I see. I don't just start pointing at random rich people and speak foul at them, it's not like that at all. Look, I'm here because I know this train of thought is unhealthy. It definitely has already provoked some people here, then its surely wrong. What I'm looking for is an answer or perhaps a hint on how I can change this. I already bang my head to the wall for being like this, and I don't need any more of that coming from others.
Thornton Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 I'm the same - I respect people who have worked for their money, but I really resent spoiled rich brats who were born with a silver spoon in their mouths and will never have to work a day in their lives. People such as Paris Hilton and Peaches Geldof come to mind... I hate them with a passion, they're completely talentless and are famous only for being rich. Having said that, my hatred is mostly jealousy because they were born into riches and I wasn't... they're completely useless and empty-headed but they have everything, while I work hard and have virtually nothing... it just doesn't seem fair.
mark982 Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 i dated a "sliver spoon in mouth" girl for quite a few years. while she was a damn good person, she just couldn't grasp the concept that everyone just can't afford the finest. she didn't look down her nose at anyone,just used to the best of everything. never had to pay off college loans(daddy did), set her up in her own med practice(again no loans), she's parlaid that into 5 different offices,so not sure if it was hard work,or that w/o daddys money she wouln't be so well off.
Lish Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I'll admit I'm a bit jealous of their lifestyle, but I feel it's one of those things I'd want for just a day. I like my life relatively simple. Enough money to live by comfortably with few extra bucks for leisure here and there is all I ask for. Having a castle for a house, owning 3 cars...etc. etc. eh, not my kind of life. So I don't believe its just a jealousy thing. And don't get me wrong, I don't like myself feeling this way and to not date that girl for that reason alone was definitely not a good thing. Then I probably won't find you offensive AT ALL. You didn't read the last part? I said, if I meet a rich person who actually appreciates his/her wealth, that is the kind of person I would like to meet. Yes, it all sounds stereotype and being judgmental but take note that I only judge them after I've met them and hanged out with them. Their words, their actions, that's what I see. I don't just start pointing at random rich people and speak foul at them, it's not like that at all. Look, I'm here because I know this train of thought is unhealthy. It definitely has already provoked some people here, then its surely wrong. What I'm looking for is an answer or perhaps a hint on how I can change this. I already bang my head to the wall for being like this, and I don't need any more of that coming from others. What causes you to think this way? Why do you think this way? Jealousy. I can assure you, this is jealousy. You're jealous of what others have... you're jealous that others got a head start and you probably didn't, you've got to work for everything you have when others don't (this is where the problem is for you, you're comparing their start in life to yours). Sadly, this is just the way life goes. And you know what? who really cares. Everyone wants enough money to live comfortably, but it's not all life is about, contrary to popular belief. Money doesn't make anyone a better person than you. Nor does it make you happy. You just need to truly be content with who you are & what you have. Being rich isn't all it's cracked up to be. Holidays? Leisure? Big house? Cars? All material. & to give you an idea of how common i really am, take me to KFC where I can pig out and stuff myself full rather than a posh restaurant where my belly is still rumbling after three courses. ha. I agree that there are spoilt brats with rich parents who never work in their lives but some (like me), go to university and will earn their own money. I've been raised to understand that not everyone is as lucky as we are and to appreciate the value of money. Hence your post irritated me, it was like you were painting everyone who has a wealthy family with hatred. Out of curiousity, if you were a wealthy parent, would you like your child to leave college/university with tens of thousands of debt around their neck? and would you pay for their living expenses so they could concentrate on their studies?
2sure Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I even stopped dating a girl when I found out she lives in this extremely expensive condo in the middle of the city. I resented her for being rich and some things she talks about which is completely out of touch from the ordinary lives of people. That doesn't necessarily make her a bad person. How do I stop thinking like this?[/quote Well, it sounds like you dont hate them because they are rich..it sounds like you hate them because they have more than you. So, to change your thinking...you are going to have to start recognizing that you are not righteous, just jealous. And thats OK, its a good place to start
MSUE Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I think secretly you wish you have what they have and that it does come down to envy...I grew up in a well off family and I'm not a jerk I'm very appreciative of it all...but just because they "we" have what you want or do what you can't do doesn't mean we are jerkoffs
Trialbyfire Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 If you have something that someone else wants, you'll always be the bad guy, since you have more than the other person does. It's the same as the attractive = mean thread. Wealth = unrealistic/unappreciative/snobbish. Intelligence = condescending. Whatever...
carhill Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Out of curiousity, if you were a wealthy parent, would you like your child to leave college/university with tens of thousands of debt around their neck? Absolutely not. He or she would have been working for a good decade prior to college in my business and I'd match every dollar they earned in a college savings account they couldn't touch. and would you pay for their living expenses so they could concentrate on their studies? They would receive a modest stipend for living. Extravagances would be up to them to provide, using the entrepreneurial skills they had learned by working. OP, I've met rich people who are azzholes and I've met rich people whom you'd never know were rich until really getting to know them. Some get rich by taking from you and me and others will give you the shirt off their back. Wealth is just a way of counting. The few friends I have whom are well-off tell me it's pretty simple. They enjoy freedom and money gives them freedom. Freedom to be frugal or freedom to be generous. Freedom to live life the way they like. I don't hate the azzholes. They're irrelevant to me.
boldjack Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 OP, I hear you> What I hate the most about the born-rich is their sense of entitlement. Because of their money, they are more important, because of their money, their opinions matter more than others, because of their money, they go first, because of their money, they rule. Not because of talent, or hard work, but because of their money. You must begin to realize that the born-rich are the enemies of mankind.
Lish Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 OP, I hear you> What I hate the most about the born-rich is their sense of entitlement. Because of their money, they are more important, because of their money, their opinions matter more than others, because of their money, they go first, because of their money, they rule. Not because of talent, or hard work, but because of their money. You must begin to realize that the born-rich are the enemies of mankind. This is a joke, right? Cos I used to like you.
boldjack Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 No joke, Lish. I have nothing personal against you or any other rich kid, but I don't think you are special either. Maybe I'm wrong.......... what have you done with your money, to help others? I was born very poor, I worked at good jobs, horrible jobs, any jobs, so now I'm well off. We are in the best circles, go to the best parties, meet the rich and powerful, and they don't know, that deep inside, I despise them all, for the horrors that their greed has caused in the world.
Trialbyfire Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 No joke, Lish. I have nothing personal against you or any other rich kid, but I don't think you are special either. Maybe I'm wrong.......... what have you done with your money, to help others? I was born very poor, I worked at good jobs, horrible jobs, any jobs, so now I'm well off. We are in the best circles, go to the best parties, meet the rich and powerful, and they don't know, that deep inside, I despise them all, for the horrors that their greed has caused in the world.So you're the only wealthy person in the world who's earned their wealth, right? Get off your ridiculous pulpit. Pure hypocrisy.
boldjack Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I would never consider myself a Rich person. It would mean that I'm as shallow and worthless as they are.
Trialbyfire Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I would never consider myself a Rich person. It would mean that I'm as shallow and worthless as they are.If you're moving in the circles you claim to be, welcome to the shallow and worthless. At least I'm not ashamed of myself and have no reason to be.
Land Shark Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 The ability to generalize and stereotype others is what differentiates humans from other animal species.
boldjack Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Hey, it was a General thread, I gave a general answer.
Lish Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Hey, it was a General thread, I gave a general answer. You did NOT give a general answer atall. I give alot of money to charity as do my family, infact 80% of my parents wealth is going to charity when they die. & when exactly did I claim to be special? You say you don't have anything personal against me yet you paint me with the same brush as everyone else with money? My mum was also born poor, and you judge her and her kids because she made something of her life? And she's also a lawyer who might I add, helps the community not only through her charity efforts, but by keeping people like YOU safe by getting criminals locked up. Whatever.
GrayClouds Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 because she made something of her life? So people who work hard and don't become rich haven't "made something" of there life. You may not have meant to but a statement like that infers a bit demeaning attitude to those who are not in the same income level as the wealthy. While yellowboy does have some silly biases he is expressing, at least he appears to be aware of them. Do you think maybe you have some too?
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