Let's just face it ... we men were created to enjoy "variety" - we can't help it!

[Nostalghia]

.... read title and give your take on that statement!

[moimeme]

My take?

 

Bullfeathers.

[BraveGirl]

I'm afraid I probably have to agree with you but I'm sure some people will say it's not always the case. But generally.... yes. Sadly for us girls.

[Nostalghia]

Originally posted by moimeme

My take?

 

Bullfeathers.

What in the blue hell is Bullfeathers?!

 

Well apparently 90% of men cheat at one time of their lives and the other 10% deny it!

[moimeme]

It's a more polite way of saying 'excrement from the male of the bovine species'.

[Nostalghia]

Originally posted by moimeme

It's a more polite way of saying 'excrement from the male of the bovine species'.

So you don't believe my statement?! You truly believe us homosapiens are monogamous by nature?!

[lynnedays]

It's silly...but men and women make this statement alot. That it's just men that werne't meant to be monogamous.

 

The truth is, HUMANS, they think, were not meant to be monogamous. They can be (obviously) but nature didn't "build" us with the intention of having one and only one partner (like some animals actually are).

 

Men and women didn't used to live this long, and both men and women changed partners depending on their needs at the time. Chalk it up to men wanting younger women so they can have more babies and as many babies as possible... or blame it on women who wanted to be with the more dominate (wealthy, secure, handsome, confident, power, etc.) male for security reasons.

 

Either way.. when you claim a man needs variety... don't be so narrow minded to think yoru girlfriend doens't fight the same urges.

[Nostalghia]

Trust me Lynne - I know that ... but the bitching by women in this forum as of late triggered off this statement. But I agree with you, our minds and desires do not think in a singular manner. That's all I'm trying to say. Men should be upfront about there extracurricular activities and wondering eyes no doubt so the woman can make a choice whether to stay or not, but there shouldn't be any surprises about human behaviour.

 

BTW, I prefer older women anyway!

[Goatsbreath]

Its a crude statement but I have to agree. I mean, otherwise there wouldn't be all these situations of cheating. You ask just about anyone and they have been cheated on. The word temptation is not a stranger in the midst of every day life.

[Nostalghia]

I know it's crude ... trust me when I say I am ashamed when I catch my self looking at another woman when my GF isn't around - and I LOVE her very much and turns me on COMPLETELY! I just can't fight the feeling of satiating myself with eye candy! Trust me, I wish God didn't make me HORNY!

[Arabess]

Homosapiens tend to be monogamous only as long as it's good.....plentiful and they are on a deserted island with only the one other person.

[moimeme]

This sort of stuff bespeaks a faulty cause-effect conclusion.

Most men do not cheat for sexual variety, nor do most women. Go find yourself the books and studies on this.

 

So if the premise is flawed, so is the conclusion; i.e. that this is biological or genetic.

 

We are much more complex creatures than that. If we were all that governed by biology, then everybody would cheat, but everybody does not.

 

But isn't it so much harder to say 'I never paid attention when my wife asked me for affection/respect/love/whatever so she found it someplace else. I screwed up and drover her away' than it is to say 'oh, it's just biology - she cheated because of biological imperative'.

 

In the first case, somebody might have to take responsibility and admit fault. In the latter, he can just shrug his shoulders and go on to yet another relationship where, doubtless, that wife will cheat, too.

[bark]

The truth is, HUMANS, they think, were not meant to be monogamous. They can be (obviously) but nature didn't "build" us with the intention of having one and only one partner (like some animals actually are).

 

Very true, lynnedays. Despite the lip service many pay to marriage, at least in America we're moving into a post-marital society. Many of us are now living alone. Serial monogamy is becoming the new sexual norm.

 

Marriage as in "till death do us part" is becoming increasingly problematic. This "plural partner" restlessness affects both men and women.

 

Welcome to the 21st century.

[Nostalghia]

All this intellectual rhetoric and banter about human sexuality is moot. The fact is we pseudo-drool when a good looking man/woman walks by us and I have seen this reaction from the most faithful of people as well. So in essence we were made for variety plain and simple. Yes monogamy is a choice and a lifestyle, but we're ultimately fighting the most basic of base behaviour in doing so! Why fight the feeling I say?!

[moimeme]

You can appreciate another nice body without actually wanting to schtup it.

 

Well, most of us can, anyway. You may want every hot body you see. That doesn't mean every man is like you.

[Nostalghia]

Originally posted by moimeme

You can appreciate another nice body without actually wanting to schtup it.

 

Well, most of us can, anyway. You may want every hot body you see. That doesn't mean every man is like you.

Wait a minute ... I don't actually want to go through with it and try to poke every woman that looks yummy. But my eyes sure do that's the diff! So there must be something that is god-given and beyond our control that makes our eyes lead where the heart doesn't want to go.

[moimeme]

Or maybe we just appreciate aesthetically pleasant things? Including aesthetically pleasant people? And maybe something primitive says 'that's a possible' without creating the imperative to follow it? You don't eat every tasty thing you see, even though it looks delicious, do you? Yes, you are geared to want food and to enjoy the taste of it but it doesn't mean you need to gorge, either.

[alphadawg]

I don't know enough biology to state anything one way or the other. But I've heard this argument before, as well as the argument that women try out different men to see which one can give them the best security.

 

But..for argument's sake...just becuase our ancestors lived a certain way does not mean we have to. I think I agree that monogamy is cultral, not natural, but so what?? Does natural instinct give women the right to never look at or take seriously guys they assume are weak, classless, or tasteless losers because they say stupid stuff?

 

If so, no wonder you're bitter.

 

I want to look at other chix sometimes, but I don't, because I have an education and I respect women. I beleive in civilization as much as biology. I think biolgical impulse is the sleazy man's mantra. Sometimes I feel an urge to kill, to eat too much, as meimeme said, or speak rudely, but I don't get to do whatever I want if I want my girlfriend and community to respect me.

 

I don't knwo, you'll probably say I'm just not macho, but whatever, man, it's just my two cents. I think the porn posts are stupid too, so does my girlfriend, but I don't get why you're so spittin' mad about them? What's up, dude? Does your woman bitch about this too or something? 'Fess up.

[Nostalghia]

Originally posted by alphadawg

.... What's up, dude? Does your woman bitch about this too or something? 'Fess up.

Naaaaaaw ... just trying to elicit some kind of emotional reaction around here by touching on something very taboo just to break the typical monotony posts as of late. BTW say hi to your girlfriend for me.

[lynnedays]

Yes, I think humans weren't built biologically to be with one person, which is why monogamy isn't always easy for everyone, but obviously the life style has some pay off (emotional or otherwise for us humans)---otherwise nobody would stay married/partnered/with one person.

 

So in one way shape or form--despite not being born with an undeniable instinct to always stay with one and only one person-- many humans do. So perhaps humans, unlike animals, don't naturally have ANY certain lifestyle. Maybe the lifestyle humans pick depends completly on how fullfilled they are in the current lifestyle they chose.

 

I think our minds (and our inner needs) can make human nature much more complex then that of an ordinary animal when it comes to partners and "mating" . We may not be predispositioned to any certain lifestyle because of it. So maybe that is why some humans never have a problem with monogamy (and crave it) and others struggle everyday with it.

 

We already know some of a persons behavior (or personality) is linked to how they were biologically put together (out look on life, etc.)... seems silly to then think we would all walk around with the same level of need for variety.

 

Even in a society where no lifestyle was prefered over another and perhaps marriage, etc. didn't even exist...I think you would still have many people that would end up monogamous. I'm also sure you would have many people that would end up polygamous.

 

 

So after much thought, *takes a breath* I have come to the conclusion that this statement ("Let's just face it...we men were created to enjoy "variety" - we can't help it) all depends on the specific man or woman.

[Goatsbreath]

Does natural instinct give women the right to never look at or take seriously guys they assume are weak, classless, or tasteless losers because they say stupid stuff?

 

Nature does not try to provide the right for anything, it governs and evolution has always been about eliminating the weak. I think everyone fell of the point that our underlying biology promotes us to persue more than one partner. I think this is what the poster is trying to say. I dont think he denys that our culture is geared at distractions, setting limitations, exhibiting self control. I once saw a tv show that explained the shape of a penis and why it is. The head is designed so that it penetrates swiftly in but on the way out, it scrapes along the walls trying to remove any foreign sperm that might be present.

 

I just think values have obscured some of the responses in here tonight. Everything about showing restraint, not acting on impulse, ect. are because society and the expectations we set and hope to live within. But what are we setting these values against............Biology.

[wannabefree]

seriously, is there such a thing called love in this world anymore? how can a man tell a woman that he loves her and yet sleeps around with other women?

[mintjulep]

I want to look at other chix sometimes, but I don't, because I have an education and I respect women.

 

I don't want to rag on you, I just wanted to point out how this sentence contradicts itself. Specifically the words "chix", "education" and "respect women". I appreciated your post, but thought I'd share with you that it can be interpreted in a way that might make you laugh if you go back and look at it again. Just thought I'd share - i.e. Not spreading the hate!

[ThisGirlNameKD]

I agree with Moimeme. I am married and I still appreciate the beauty of a male face and a male body, and my husband also appreciates the beauty of a woman's face and a woman's body. That's just appreciating human beauty. I know I'm not the only woman he finds attractive, and he's not the only man I find attractive. But that doesn't mean that every good looking man I want to see I want to jump his bones because he's good looking. That's pretty shallow, and any man that has that reaction after seeing a good looking woman just because she is good looking is also shallow. We are not animals. We were design to be far more superior than animals in our thoughts and our deeds, and what's sad is that some animals act far more better than we do in their loyalty to one another. So all of that talk about men wanting variety is just a bunch of crap to them a license to justify sleeping around and cheating. How does a man sleeping around and cheating around because of "biology" benefits any relationship between a man and a woman? How could it be that "biology" makes men want to "spread around" and "biology" makes women want fidelity, loyalty and faithfulness. It seems that the true biological make up of men and women would compliment one another and not clash with one another. So I don't buy that "biology" thing.

[alphadawg]

Originally posted by mintjulep

I don't want to rag on you, I just wanted to point out how this sentence contradicts itself. Specifically the words "chix", "education" and "respect women". I appreciated your post, but thought I'd share with you that it can be interpreted in a way that might make you laugh if you go back and look at it again. Just thought I'd share - i.e. Not spreading the hate!

 

 

No, I see your point. I suppose guys, dudes, and dawgs are unspeakable, too, eh? It's hard to know what is sensitive and what is just PC, I think.