silent break up?

[wondering_girl]

hi trueblue, how are you? did you have a good weekend? how was your date with your new cutie?

 

this weekend was blehhh ok i guess, ran some miles, the usual, but i guess this wkend was kinda a turning point yet it needed to happen weekend, 1 of those ya know - get me into the whole reality deal. his best friend called me to say hey it's my birthday come meet up at the house, do you and "insert his name here" had any plans for tonight? i was like well... i was supposed to go with my friend somewhere but call him anyway, i don't know what he has planned. so he calls him, and i get a text from one of the girls that he showed up there w/ one of his guy friends. the last party before this, he didn't show.

 

last week, i finally had the guts to changed the whole fbook deal (i know it's immature but everytime i logged in there) and it said we were "in a blah blah blah" I felt like i lived a lie and i even cried a little when i saw it. so i changed it and one of the couples that were at dinner last night asked me say it isn't so what is going on? so i told her that he asked me for a break blah blah.....

 

so this morning, i felt bad.... he was my friend too but he was more of his friend ya know but we are all grown couples so today, i texted his best friend and said hey, i'm sorry i couldn't make it to your birthday yesterday, "insert his name here" asked me for a break and he hasn't spoken to me in a while, tell your wife too i'm sorry i hope you understand (i thought this gesture was ok since ya know i still like those people) however, i'm thankful that i didn't show up, how stupid would i look? and no, he didn't ask me to go either like those other times i guess this is it. his appearance by himself yesterday was one of those things telling them hey, we are not together anymore, him showing up without me for the first time was one of the gestures that i needed for him to do in a LONG TIME.

 

i don't know why it bothered me so much yesterday, and i feel stupid that it did, i still have feelings for him that's all i can come up with and i still cared of what he does, but i guess it's one of those things that i needed to wake me up from the dream that i was trying to create that he just needed time on his own to think about me, but bottomline: we're done. i keep thinking to my head that the more time he was apart from me the more time he would need to think but honestly, if he wanted to fix it - he would fix it right now, i guess prolonging the situation hurts and damages the relationship more so it could no longer be salveageable, wow mission accomplished for him. and yes, the e-mail regarding we have communication issues remain to be unanswered after 2 weeks, that's the end of that, this is pretty much doomed and what a good job how he did it.

 

sorry trueblue, not as cheery today! hope you had a better wkend

[trueblue72ny]

Hey wondering girl,

 

Been looking forward to hearing from you.

 

Weekend was lazy. Needed some down time. I sat around all day on Sunday watched Tv and ate as much food as I could shove in. lol. now I will spend a couple days burning that off throwing some wood around.

 

Saw my new cutie : ) she was talking to me about some things that were making me smile : ) she also wants to go out to a concert Thursday, Luke Bryan? I have never heard of him, but I said I am open to new things. See wondering girl, I am learning all over again (Just Like you Will) that if someone wants to be in your life they will make time for you AND make an effort to make you both a part of things TOGETHER. Its not me having to chase her around. She just wants to do things. And I know that is the way things are supposed to be.

 

It is such a 180 from what we are used too. Now I just get mad thinking about my ex and how she is. And get this, my ex actually has the Nerve to act like she is mad at me. She has NO Rights! Period. It angers me. Go back to that?? No I don’t think so. She says she wants to be friends, but her behavior just pushes me away. I have no desire to reach out because “friends” don’t act that way to each other. and i dont know why she would be acting like that since she is the one who said see ya. why should she care if she see's me around. it shouldnt affect her. all i can think is its just more of her games. its more mental abuse coming from her. and im not down for it anymore. I wouldn’t go back to her at this point even if she asked.

 

I think it is cool you can run MILES. I have heard it is a mind game making your self go the distance. I have run a couple miles years ago but I think I would collapse now because I haven’t done it in sooo long. It would take a little warm up. Maybe I will try to run a quarter mile in your honor : )

 

I think I know what you mean about the turning point. not sure when it happens, but you know when you have crossed it.

 

Whats up with your ex’s best friend doing that? Not Cool. doesn’t he know?

 

Fbook, um, ya, don’t have one. Don’t want one. From what I have seen it can be really good to use to keep in touch with friends, but when things go wrong, it seems like it can really mess with your feelings.

 

I think that was a very sincere gesture on your behalf to them. They will understand.

 

Don’t be too hard on yourself girl. You are handling a very difficult situation.

 

You are right. If he wanted to fix things, he would. what helped me was looking back at our past, how she is. when I stopped fixating on the feelings, I fixated on how she treated me. the silent treatment, the deceit, the everyday bs that made me feel like I meant nothing. The fact that I have no chance to get anything out of life that I want with her. that helped me on the more difficult days, and still does to this day. I saw her walking down the hallway last week and she waved. my heart didnt jump, not one bit like it used too. I am glad because it is not healthy to be caught up in someone abusive like that.

Edited November 17, 2009 by trueblue72ny

[trueblue72ny]

Guess what wondering girl, my ex at work just emailed me this morning. hey there, long time no talk how are you.

 

why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was doing good. it has been about 2 months since I spoke with her. I have become happy going about my everyday business. Minding My Own Business. Getting to know my new cutie & Moving on. just like she wanted me to do because she said she doesn’t want ME in HER life anymore.

 

This has ruined My Day. My heart jumped a little : (

 

 

Did I tell you this was the pattern with my ex? in and out of my life. She pulls a Houdini and then re-appears months later. Dur duh duh hi how are you. this is WHY I constantly would get caught up with her in the past and unable to move on.

 

Im feeling good about things in my life for the first time in a loooong time and don’t want that screwed up!! Period.

 

 

How to handle this. Hmmmmm, ok, sooo I guess I don’t want to be a d*ck over it. even tho I have every right in the world to not respond.

 

I guess I should stick to my plan. I will not initiate communication but will respond lightly, friendly, if she emails me. I wont ask any questions and I wont divulge any info unless she directly asks. Lt me see how that goes.

 

How are you holding out wondering girl? hope your day is going well.

[wondering_girl]

hi TRUEBLUE!!!

 

sounds like an awesome weekend! lol, the MILES part hahaha, it relieves the stress, definitely! so did you run the quarter mile yet hehe?

 

WHATTTTTTTT? ahh, i'm sorry, please don't let it ruin your day, because just like you said you are slowly moving on with your new cutie, a life without your ex's confusing ways and the whole deal - but when you said your heart jumped a little?? does that mean you still have lingering feelings with her huh? is that what it means? i would respond if i were you especially since you guys are in the same building like ya said in a friendly, happy way, show her you're fine........did you respond yet? it hasn't been that long since ya guys cut communication is she dating someone? but i know for a fact that you like your new cutie and moving on with her.. do you think your ex is testing the waters if you're still there?

 

as for me... well, remem last time i told you he asked me for some time apart and start over and i said fine - i guess he's ready to talk, he had sent me a message saying he's tired of being mad and some explanations (although i can tell he's still stubborn) and said where do we go now - it seems like he's testing the waters as well to see if i'm still here? what do you think? so like if i said no we're done he can be the victim ya know or for me to say ok, let's work on this...........he also said he ask himself why this situation is like this now..um because we didn't talk? trueblue, i'm not gonna lie i love and care for this guy and i have been sooo patient the whole time and that seems is like the magic recipe of our relationship and one of the things that i learned is if i do jump in i cannot lose myself and mold into that again and that this is how he is and the consequences that come with it....... - sorry, i'm just thinking out loud...

 

what are ya gonna respond? hope your day gets better.

[trueblue72ny]

I have not run the quarter mile YET. I will. you will see.

 

I guess all it can mean is I must still have some lingering feelings. I don’t get it. I have seen her around, she waves, I feel nothing like I used too. now she emails me and it jumps a little. Wtf. I have tried to block her out.

 

I think I have just come to some conclusions about my ex this morning. You are right. No sense ignoring her. it will only make matters worse. After all I do not hate the girl. that’s not the problem. Sorry in advance, not trying to sound trashy, the problem is we have always both been intimately attracted to each other. Like even if we were arguing, we basically still wanted to rip each others cloths off, morning, noon and night. 5 years later. Stillll. And that is now why it would be a huge problem being “friends”. I can’t just hang out with her. that is so gay. And I am NOT going to frustrate myself being around someone who I know gets my motor going. I don’t want to be put in a situation were I allow her to get my motor going again. I am giving 100% of my attention to my new girl because I like her. And as far as intimacy goes, I have no idea about the new one YET. but I find myself wanting too know and give her a chance now. huge change for me. takes a lot for me to move on intimately with another woman. but once I do, that’s it. so I don’t need my ex flaunting her junk in my face distracting me. I still love that apple pie but I guess its time for me to go back to the bakers shop and try a different one. Ya know what Im saying wondering girl? Again don’t take me as being trashy. Cause im not.

 

I did respond. I just have been saying. Im good, work is busy, blah blah blah. I haven’t asked any questions. And left it at that. she is still emailing me. 7 times already today. I don’t want to know if she is dating someone. I am not asking. I have a feeling this isnt the end of hearing from her. She is all dressed up today looking at me. Uggggggggggg. What a Jerk! Why does she do this. I am sticking to my new cutie. I am attracted to her now. period.

 

It sounds like he is testing the waters with you to see if you are still open to something. Not sure what, but something. Same with mine. Wants something, just not sure what exactly. you say no and he can really blame shift things. It sounds like he acts like he doesn’t know whats going on, than asks, whats going on? ya, um, hello. Its like speak because you haven’t been.

 

I feel ya wondering girl. Same with mine. I loved and cared for her for so long and have been soooo patient. Now I have run out of patience. I held the candle for her for years and got nothing out of it. You should not just jump right back into the way things were. You are here now because you are not accepting of the same old same. You want more out of life. And you have to make that perfectly clear and see it backed up with real actions. maybe yours will smarten up and start realizing that and start acting on it, IF something was to work out. but at the same time you have to be careful about that. because most people do not really change from my experience.

 

 

Thanks, hope yours goes well too!

[wondering_girl]

trueblue, 7 times in one day? dressed up? geesh, NO, of course i do not think you're trashy - it's just natural, i understand, wow, so maybe that's one of the reasons why you have those lingering feelings for her, you think she's attractive, now if only she knows what she wants and commit to be w/ you 100% she's perfect right, but the ONE THING that you're looking for she doesn't have and IT SUCKS......i know, i understand, my person was my first everything and all of the above, and during this time, i figured that's one of the reasons why i couldn't just drop everything we had in spite of our issues.. yes, i agree, you are attracted to your new CUTIE now and you went to the bakeshop and saw there were other things there ya know, i've always wondered lol, do you call her cutie? haha.

 

since ya told me that info everything makes sense now, ya know what i noticed there's always "ONE" thing that keeps you hook no matter how bad it was.. in this case you were attracted to her, he was my first all of the above.

 

what was she e-mailing about anyhows?

 

i'll keep that in mind, like you i had soo much patience and i care for him deeply, i guess only time will tell now. i just want to get past this situation and move on from there..........

[Sleepless in London]

Wandering Girl and TruBlue, hello from a very late night/early morning london. i've been reading your blog for a few weeks now. Things haven't been great with my bf either. He just can't communicate and then ignored me for nearly 2 weeks. We started seeing each other 1st Jan so I found some inspiration from the 2 of you andyou've sort of kept me going. Wandering Girl i gasped when you went to that party with your nc b/f. I really felt for you. I would have done the same thing (and have done in the past with other relationships).

 

Anyway me and my b/f broke up this eve, but he couldn't communicate and I wear my heart on my sleeve so he's not right for me. Reading both of your comments you both seem like really nice, open people. You've both been doing well and are moving on. Now it seems like the sharks are circulating as per their usual pattern.

 

Don't give in. You know both of your relationships weren't giving you what you need and deserve. A relationship should be making you feel alive and happy, right? Don't give into your exes. You're nearly there. You're nearly out of the water onto the safety of dry land. Don't alllow those sharks to get you.

 

Trublue. She's already starting her usual pattern. Don't get sucked back in. You're strong. Swim against it.... and you'll reach happiness a whole lot quicker if you keep going in the direction you were heading.

 

Sorry for poking my nose in (that 1st night of going to bedafter breakup is always the worse) but I'm off to bed now

 

nighty night and take care both of you

xx

[trueblue72ny]

Hey wondering girl. Total tally is 16 emails from her. but guess what? Im ok!! : ) im not feeling anything over it actually. it was just general talk. The same old same old same. Ya, ya know I don’t hate my ex. I was in love with her for years. I tried to stick it out. But now that I have heard from her I realize she is just the same as she always is. Nothing has changed. We may be attracted to each other, but that is not enough anymore. she just wanted her little ego boost, & now that gave it to her, I expect not to hear from her for another couple of months. now I can continue moving along with my new cutie : ) & Yes, I call her cutie. I call her sweetie, I call my dear : )

 

Ya that info probably helps you to understand things. There is an intimate attraction there. and that is the issue with being friends. cant do it. just talking to her made me realize, ya I am still attracted to her. I cant just hang out with her and watch tv. That is sooo stupid. Ya know what I mean? imagine that wondering girl. You and your ex become friends and are just hanging out watching tv. And then go home. I mean come on.

 

as I noted intimacy is just enough anymore. there are more to relationships than just that. and I want more than just that from my woman. maybe it is ridiculous but whatever. That’s how I feel. And it is not fair to my new cutie. My new cutie is who I am wanting to call now and make plans with.

 

She was just emailing me telling me about her mom, her daughters bday, did I get a new tv yet, hows the house. Like general catch up talk with someone you haven’t spoken to in awhile. I mean its friendly and all that, but whats the point? its kinda stupid. I don’t know. we will see.

 

My suggestion to you is continue working on yourself to get past this and move on. it will never be the same. The feelings are never the same. You always have trust issues if they are going to leave again, and on and on. I am really thankful I met someone new. When you are ready I want you to meet someone new.

[trueblue72ny]

Hello Sleepless in London. We do not mind your post at all. feel free to join in. now that wondering girl has started this post : ) it seems like there are a lot more people out there than we realize who are going thru the same thing, dealing with the silent treatment. Its hard to cope with. Sorry to hear your bf was doing it to you. 2 weeks is a long time when you care. & it is all consuming.

 

 

Communication is so important. cant express that enough. People are not mind readers. No one knows what someone else is thinking unless they tell you. and if they are going to hold out on you than its time to back off. They obviously don’t care the same way as you do if they are doing that to you. I have learned trying to talk to someone who is giving you the silent treatment also doesn’t help. You just wind up sacrificing your own self respect and dignity and it gives them the upper hand. I went crazy for a long time when it first started happening to me. towards the end of things when I got the silent treatment, I started feeling like I was on vacation.

 

Thanks sleepless! We are nice people : ) you are exactly right. A relationship should make you feel happy, content, fulfilling, warm, alive, all of the above. It should not be a one sided thing with one person holding the torch. Nope. Not at all. It takes two.

 

Those first 24 hours after a breakup just plain suck! Our thoughts are with you Sleepless! Keep us posted with how you are.

[wondering_girl]

hello trueblue..... how was your weekend with your new cutie?? definitely this extra information helps, just like mine he was my first all of the above that's why i guess it's hard for me to cut loose ya know? he's also told me that i should know him by now.... so, yep, he even tells me that this is how he is....

 

what'd ya guys do this weekend? yeah, definitely when i'm ready but as of right now i think i'm better by myself.....

[wondering_girl]

hi sleepless, how are you doing babe? how's things going for you? please feel free to read here - i'm glad that i've helped you a little, we're all here for you, i'm just like you i wear my heart on my sleeve and i'm a communicator 100% the silent treatment is painful and very hurtful... but you know that's how they are and he even told me he noted me that i should know him by now.....

 

to me, even if i'm pissed/mad i can never do that, ok maybe for like 1 hr but that's about it.. i loved him way too much and life is way too short...... for me to disregard someone i cared for i don't understand how they can block someone out

 

how are things going for you?

[trueblue72ny]

Hi girl, weekend was good. the cutie is good. short week at work with Thurs and Friday off.

 

How was your weekend?

 

Ya, its hard to cut loose I know what you mean, but now that I finally am, I am glad.

the ex at work has taken a few days off, life is good.

its just putting me in a bad mood now when i see her around.

 

I guess thats an admission from him that’s how he is. Wonderful.

Like he cant help being who he is.

So what now?

Maybe you can ask him to try to be more open and see what happens,

[wondering_girl]

hi trueblue! how are you? Hope you had a good turkey day!!!

[Sleepless in London]

Hello TrueBlue and Wondering Girl,

 

I hope you had great Thanksgiving Weekends.

 

Big holidays are diffucult times when you're single, so Wondering Girl I hope you're ok. I hope you spent a couple of days with good freinds or family.

 

TrueBlue, did you spend it with the new cutie? If so I hope you had a fabulous time... Did you meet some of her family? Weekends like this with a new relationship can sometimes propell us forward, so I hope it all went well.

 

I'm feeling a little bit sorry for myself, I've a bad cold and no man to make me chicken soup. I've re-registered on Online dating and just keep getting bizarre emails from men in other countries and certainly not in the criteria I was looking for. Needless to say no word from my ex. So, no soup, no man and I turn on the tv.... Sleepless in Seattle is on. Oh for a happy romantic ending like the movie.

 

Thought I'd just say hi

 

Lots of love from a rainy London

xx

[trueblue72ny]

hey wondering girl, it was good! thanks for asking. hope yours was as well.

 

ive got some news about the new cutie. as you know this has been going on for a couple months. well nothing has happened and i have been wondering what does she want?

 

so i asked her.. what do you want with me???

 

i think its only fair i know!

 

well anyways, i asked her 10am sunday morning. it is 7 hours later and i have not heard from her. i guess thats my answer!! another silent breakup!

[trueblue72ny]

hi sleepless. hope things are going well for you. feeling a little down in the dumps myself. my prior post says why. this new one was getting me hopeful. but surprise!!

 

i think its strange that you don't get a kiss from someone after a couple months. it has been bugging me. i know from past experience things move quicker than that. so i have had it. so i decided to call her bluff. she is always saying to me, she i calling my bluff. now i called her bluff.

 

i just dont get it. why waste my time like that? i have told her from day one basically. she is the one who constantly contacts me. flirts with me. asks me to hang out. why would you do that! o well. i could have been out there looking for someone else this whole time : ( but i guess its better i fin dout now than let this go on for 6months.

 

this time i will know enough to keep my dignity! i will not initiate contact with her at this point. nope! not one single word.

 

thanks for wishing me a good time with her. i wish that was the case! unfortunately it appears not : (

 

i hope you are feeling better sleepless. thats funny about the chicken soup. i actually made some homesmade chicken soup about two weeks ago. i would have shared it with you. it turned out really good!

 

i think i should just start looking online again myself. i feel like all this time was just a waste : ( christmas is coming up : ( i am not looking forward to it now.

 

i am feeling sad : (((

 

theres got to me someone for me out there

 

xoxo

[Sleepless in London]

Hello True blue, I'm so sorry about what has happened and to hear that you're upset. I'm a bit shocked to be honest. I didn't realise you'd not even kissed after 2 months.

 

I'm wondering why you feel you couldn't make a move earlier. I'd personally think something was wrong if I didn't get at least a peck on the cheek after 2 dates let alone 2 months. Did you feel a move from you wouldn't be welcomed?

 

I had a male friend that happened to once. The relationship just fizzled out and she stopped returning his calls. He'd not kissed his girlfriend either. He said that he didn't want to seem presumptious and 'force' himself on her. But like you, 2 months is a long time of dating not to kiss anyone. You met this lady online if I remember correctly? She wouldn't have been on there if she wasn't after a relationship i guess.

 

By her going NC it just shows that she can't communicate. Something was not right with 2 months of not kissing, but she didn't bring that up (but then I'm wondering if you'd mentioned it either?) and now she's not returned your call to explain what's going on in her head.

 

True Blue, I really feel that people are good at heart and just don't want to hurt someone's feelings. Those less able to communicate worry they will say the wrong thing, that they'll get talked back into a situation they don't want or there will be a big row so they take the easy route out and just stay quiet. I hope she gets in touch with you and explains what's going on. There has got to be a conversation about the no kissing thing if you do manage to speak.

 

From a personal point of view, I like to make a guy know, albeit subtly, that I won't knock him back if he's going to kiss me. Some gals might think that's being too forward so will always leave it to the guy to completely make the first move. You need that first kiss to establish that spark and get the chemistry going. If you keep seeing each other without that then I'd probably not want to see that guy anymore as i'd think he wasn't interested.

 

Of course I don't know your full situation, but if she calls and you do speak then you need to have an honest conversation and make it clear about what you want from her. That way you're not cheating yourself.

 

Let me know how you get on. All's not lost yet. Go have a good run and treat yourself to doing something nice. Nice food, coffee, a run, relax with a book and a good cd. Look after yourself for a bit.

 

Thanks for the chicken soup offer, I managed cheese on toast and lemsips today so I'm not wasting away. I think I might have swine flu so I'm too scared to nip out and get any food. Good job I sticked upweeks ago and bought 10 tins of baked beans in case I got this flu virus.

 

Sending a lovely big hug from London Town

 

xxx

 

p.s. No word from Wandering Girl. I wonder what that Miss has got up to over the holiday. I hope she's ok? Wander Girl are you out there? We don't wantto hear you've been seeing that oink!

[wondering_girl]

hello trueblue and sleepless!

 

sorry, haven't been on here much this wkend, been running around and eating = what i do best LOL.

 

sleepless, i will be glad to make you some chicken soup babe! it's probably better than what your ex would make hehehe and some cocktails (haha i know it doesn't sound right) but hopefully you're feeling better, how are ya?

 

feeling better?

[wondering_girl]

hi trueblue,

 

WHATT? ugggggh, any response yet? well, for now i would try to give her the benefit of the doubt that she's trying to think too, as you said she gives you all the signals, flirting, have ya tried what sleepless said to initiate the first move? maybe she's one of those girls that want the guy to make the first move yet?

 

but definitely, i would say after 2 months, a peck, a kiss anything should have happened because that's the first bond ya know??

 

i hope you had a good thanksgiving.... i'm sorry she's putting you through a no response mode but give her some time? bc remember before when you asked her about an issue in the beginning and she came through? maybe she's thinking....? let me know if you hear from her....

 

oh you called her right? i think it's better if you guys talk face to face..

Edited November 30, 2009 by wondering_girl

[trueblue72ny]

Hi wondering girl,

 

Yes, she has contacted me. later on that night she texted me a few times, and also asked me to give her a call. I didn’t because it was almost midnight.

 

maybe I jumped the gun. I am sorry. You see how jumpy I still am? I just don’t want to find myself in another relationship where my heart is into it and I don’t know what’s up her. because now, its scary to me to start liking someone, and not know if they are on board.

 

this morning we are texting. she says wait till you see my dog (she has a cool mini poodle that just got a haircut). What is that? is that positive reinforcement that she is still on board?

 

She still has not answered my question.

 

I will give her some time.

 

She has said in the past she needs to make sure her man isn’t going to leave her. so is this like her sizing me up for the job? Not sure. I understand being cautious, but at the same time taking to long can be just as dangerous. I am getting antsy at this point.

 

As far as making a move, lol, what an embarrassing conversation too have on here, but here goes. I am always flirting with her, telling her I want to xoxo, etc., she is always saying, uh huh, she wants to call my bluff. But than when I do, its like boom, no reaction. And it confuses me to no end. So I start thinking to myself what the he!!.

 

Friday, I gave her a hug and a smootch on the cheek for the first time after we got done with 3am black Friday shopping. Not much of a reaction. I said that doesn’t count as a kiss! She said no it doesn’t. Than she wanted to see me again Saturday. So I said to myself ok, maybe this is it! maybe I will get another kiss. But nothing happened : ( She didn’t make any move. she didn’t act like anything. it completely killed my mood. this is when I got frustrated and this is how this whole thing started with what do you want with me. I don’t like the feeling of keep putting myself out there.

 

I will give her some more time. but I want to know sometime soon what she wants from me.

 

Never have I been involved with someone who takes soooo long. And mind you I am not hinting at more. I don’t bring up the sex subject. But now that I think about it, how long is that going to take? am I going to be an old man before I get some from her? I don’t want to wait 60 years. I need that intimate mutual attraction in any relationship I am in. it is not an option.

 

Perhaps we will talk on the phone tonight, we will see. I am not going to bring up the topic of my question again. ball is in her court now. she does not have to address it with me right now or tonight, but if she choses not to address it at some point in the near future, i think i have all rights to move on.

 

Thanks for your support guys.

[trueblue72ny]

sleepless,

 

i am beginning to feel shocked myself. you know when you just want to lean in close to each other? well that is what i was waiting for. something like that. you just know. ya know? i do feel she has been guarded, so thats why not. in all fairness, a bunch of legit junk has happened in her life she has to kinda deal with sooner than later.

 

heyyy, im with you on letting someone know : )

 

 

i think i will treat myself to something good. going to get some home improvement projects going. & make myself some more good food! thats my fun. its just starting to get into the 30's temp wise here, and its only going down for awhile.

 

you should do the same, treat yourself to something good : )

 

& keep me posted with whats up with you and yours.

Edited December 1, 2009 by trueblue72ny

[wondering_girl]

hello trueblue,

 

TGIF, how are things going? have you guys talked yet....?

 

in my opinion, from what you said it seems like she is afraid of opening the door completely, to me it seems like she sends you all these signals but when it's time to actually talk and say what's up? she kinda freezes up, i don't know how she is.. but as for me, i'm kind of like a go with the flow girl - now, don't get me wrong, i expect my partner to not see anyone else but me and that should be understood right? cause sometimes, when girls question things it complicates things... that's just me though - so maybe give her some time because sometimes it's hard to define things especially if she's not ready yet because both of you guys must be ready... and you're not seeing anyone else either right? and she's not either?

 

but i also understand at our age, we need to define things to see where things are going because we would actually be ready to commit for life? do you think she is?

 

hope you're doing well! sorry haven't been on here lately, just been running around and work is keeping me busyyy..

 

take care!!!!

[trueblue72ny]

Hi wondering girl,

 

TGIF. How are things going for you????

 

Yes, we had a talk. We met up for lunch and talked face to face. Can you believe that Wondering Girl? Do you think either one of our exes would do that? I don’t think so. her answer was yes, not in so many words. She referenced something I had said awhile ago which was; if I wasn’t interested in someone it would not have gone past a couple dates. I said thank you for clearing that up! I was confused because I usually get a peck on the cheek by now, just like sleepless in London said. I confused that as not interested. She said she is different. Apparently so. I said that’s ok with me! Take your time.

 

Thank you for your insight Wondering Girl. You seem to be very intuitive. I think what you say makes sense about being afraid to open the door completely. She does seem shy. but now that I know she is interested I really don’t care about the rest. I just needed to know what her intentions are with me. especially at our age lol.

 

I have a feeling she is thinking about long term.. & that’s good with me. I have been hoping to find someone I can torture for the long term : )

 

I hear you on being busy, don’t forget to check in every once in awhile and say helllloooo : )

[wondering_girl]

hi trueblue!

 

how are you? that is good that you talked face to face, isn't that a change instead of just ignoring you for a couple of days, good for you!

 

i'm glad you found someone that understands you and is willing to communicate, definitely, i would give her time and i agree with you i think she's thinking long-term that's why she feels like she doesn't feel the need to rush through things?

 

are you ready for christmas? did you decide what to get her?

 

hope you're having a great week.

[trueblue72ny]

Yes it is a change. not used to it. just like you I am used to not talking.

 

Good point. I am taking a leap of faith that there is something to this. And if it turns out there is not. Than I will just move on again. not much else one can do. even if it does not work out, it still gives me something else to think about besides my ex gf.

 

Ahhh, Christmas , um, well I have been kind of stuck on that. how do I classify us? I can say we are “seeing” each other. But I am not so sure I can say we are “dating” yet. I would feel funny buying something expensive for someone I haven’t even kissed yet.

 

So I decided, I used to make wooden butterflies with my scroll saw. i think I am going to make her one of those. And I am sure I will pick up a couple other little things to add to that. mind you I have not made them for any of my other gf’s in the past. So she will be the first. So I guess that’s what im going to do.

 

So whats new with you wondering girl, have you heard from your ex?