erider2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Hello, My Wife and I mutually agreed to separate 4 months ago and agreed its the best thing we can both do for our lives. We are still living in the same house until the separation is processed & final. In the meantime, we have both met new people and want to start dating before the separation is final - is this legal? OR do we have to wait until separation is FINAL? OR can we get a pre-separation agreement in the meantime that states we are both allowed to date other people before the separation and it will NOT effect the terms & conditions in our separation settlement? I;m just confused on how this can work...and my wife and really want to strat dating other people, but we want the legal side of things to legit. HELP! Eric:( Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Well, as far as being "legal", you probably aren't committing any crimes; no legal authority is going to be your parent and come and tell you that you can or cannot go out and date. Any "legal" aspect to it would have to do with the validity and enforceability of the agreement between you, and any effect your actions would have on eventual settlements. For that, you can't get advice here - you should see a lawyer who can advise you. I know this is expanding on your fundamental question a little bit, but if you are both eager to date other people, are you pretty much considering this "separation" to be a clear prelude to an eventual divorce? Is a separation required in your area to get to the divorce process? I'm just wondering, because if you're both so gung-ho to see other people, why keep the marriage in place; can't you just leapfrog straight to the divorce? Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Infidelity is no longer listed as an acceptable reason for divorce is most states...so infidelity is not illegal. Most states just have you put abandonment or irreconcilable differences. Seeing other people only comes into play if your new significant other is a crackhead that children shouldnt be exposed to...and even thats tough to get. If you have a legal separation in process with your attorney, why not just ask? Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Sounds like you both agree to cheat on your marriage....Why do the separation, just get divorced and save you some time...... Any dating while you are still married, separated or not is cheating in my book. Link to post Share on other sites
Author erider2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Author Share Posted September 16, 2009 Yes...this is a definite divorce. I'm in Maryland...so I need 1 year mutual & voluntary separation before an absolute divorce. I'll be dropping off all my paperwork to lawyer tomorrow and will be discussing a possible pre-settlement term about us both dating other people. I don't want my wife changing her mind on settlement issues if she gets upset with me dating someone if her new person dosn't work out. That's just how she is. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 You are definitely going to want to talk to a lawyer. In my state we have the year and a day thing too, and if you date before you divorce you can still get in legal trouble if your spouse decides to turn vindictive. Even if the spouse agrees to date and let you date (even if they sign something!) - you are still held responsible for criminal conversation (extramarital sex) if they decide they don't like the idea after all. Link to post Share on other sites
Jonesey Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 errider- I live in MD too, and trust me you'll want to have that sep agreement done before you date. My wife thought she could do what she wanted and let me tell you, she was dead wrong. In MD, adultery still is an option for absolute divorce and if you have the proof (pics, witnesses, etc..) it will be seen by the court as a reason for an absolute divorce. Then, that could play into the child custody case if you are in that boat as well. Hope this helps... J Link to post Share on other sites
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