Wicked Child Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 A little background...about 8 years ago, I became good friends with a coworker of mine. We have since moved on to different jobs, but have remained great friends..he's one of my best friends. When we first met, I was attracted, but that quickly disappeared when he started dating someone. Well, one night we ended up fooling around...It happened one more time, and then that was it. I told him it wasn't right, and that I couldn't do that anymore. a few years after, when he and his gf were in the process of getting back together, after lots of on and off, I came clean to her, cos I felt she needed to know. At the time, he was blatantly telling everyone he was using her and didn't want to be with her, while telling her differently. Because of that, I felt she needed to know what happened. If I was on the end of that, I would want to know that my knight in shining armor wasn't what he seemed, yanno? He got really mad, and didn't speak to me for a couple weeks, but all is well between us now. Fast forward to now...They live together in an apartment her family pays for...and he's started coming on to me again. It makes things really awkward. She doesn't like me to be there when she's not there, and especially when she goes out of town to visit family. He doesn't divulge when I am there, and even though we just hang out and play video games all the time, it just feels shady. It seems like he constantly seeks my advice about his relationship and I am hesitant to give it (anyone who knows me, knows that it's hard for me to deny advice to my friends, cos I am the one everyone comes to..) based on his desire to fool around. I want to avoid all forms of intimate topics, but know that he really just needs some advice. His mother passed shortly after we met, and he has seemed to sort of attach himself to me because I remind him so much of his mom. (he talks about it so much it's kinda scary!) Some ppl have told me I should stop hanging out with him altogether, but like I said before, he's one of my best friends. How do I handle this tactfully? Should I just keep telling him no, and kinda ignore it? Should I try to help him figure out why he wants to stray? he said he only feels comfortable doing that with me...which is also strange...I'm not interested in messing around with him (although he is the best I've ever had...hands down, so my curiosity does pique a little) but I do want to do what I can to help my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 I know my best friends don't hit on me me and make me feel uncomfortable. My advice, get a new best friend. There may be a slight chance you enjoy this drama Link to post Share on other sites
BeSteady Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 How do I handle this tactfully? You dont handle it tactfully, he is jerk. You really need to pick you friends better. I suspect you kind of like the attention and it is a little game you like to play. If not, you would be highly offended that he thinks of you as he does, with whom he use and can deceive his girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Men and women can't be friends. As long as you're "friends" with this guy, he's going to keep being inappropriate. Link to post Share on other sites
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