Military and dating

[Kaie]

I don't know where to begin. I've been talking to a guy in the navy for about a month now. We met at the mall when he was just in the area. Everything was going fine until last week. He wanted to visit me but I had a wedding in Massachusetts. Now I had already told him that September is a really month for me so a visit this month would be really difficult. He told me that he understood that and whenever I was free he would come and see me. Well Thursday night he told me that he feels like I'm basically avoiding him. I told him if I was doing that then I wouldn't have given him my number or even give him the time of day. Well the last time we talked was Monday night and he's told me that he's been really busy at work and he's getting ready for some board test to get higher in rank. I can totally understand that but he could at least make the time to see how everything is going because even though I'm busy I at least found the time to call him and see how he was doing. I don't know what to do. I want to send him a text message about how I'm feeling but I don't want to ruin this. I want to tell him when I'm free but I'm also starting to believe that he probably found someone close to him ( we're 3 hours apart). I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be grateful.

 

I know the military life style can be hard but I just never realized how hard it can be.

[ReturnToSender]

Its very hard. I was in the military, by default only dated military guys and ended up marrying one and being a military wife for many years.

 

Because of the nature of the job, there really will be times when its impossible to get in contact. well, I dont know, maybe things have changed in the past few years, but i know that back then..if yorue in the field, you dont really have a chance to contact anyone. I remember being in sleep deprivation for days at a time...you could ask me my name and Id give you a blank look (never could understand how that would be a great state to be in if there was a war going on but..I digress! lol)

 

Even when I was married, there would be days where hed come home from work..mechanically eat dinner then pass out on the couch. 12-18hour days takes a lot out of a person...and it was even worse when hed study for training or promotion or what have you.

 

Unfortunately, when it comes to a relationship like that...it really is a matter of its on you to be able to make time whenever the time can come up. If both of you have extremely busy schedules, Im not entirely sure how its going to work.

[Kaie]

So do you think I should just be patient and wait until he's less busy to talk to him?

[ReturnToSender]

Hrmm...I think that youd need to decide if you are really able to handle being in a relationship like this. Pretty much, as long as hes in the military its going to be this way. I wouldnt say not to contact him if thats what you want to do...and he'll be happy to hear from you and know you are thinking about him. but when it comes time to being able to make plans to see each other its going to be tough. He probably truly is restricted and its not going to be easy...especially if hes early on in his career.

[Kristy19]

I really appreciate the advice. I don't know what to do. I've been thinking about it and every time I call him to tell him when I'm free he just says well I'm working right now I'll call you later but never does. I just don't know what to do...

[ReturnToSender]

Of course...it may not just be a military thing. It may be a him thing too....unfortunately. I wouldnt stress or put too much energy into it at this point...things are just kicking off for the two of you.