BF interested in Young girls?????

[Paragon]

Unlike you, I think the OP is an able minded adult that even though getse advice from the people here, can ultimately make her own choice and doesnt' need to be thought of so small minded that any comment is "feeding her head" with anything.

 

Uhm, yea...SHOW ME where I said I think she's NOT an able minded adult...

 

Paragon, as for how you would know..you can clearly tell alot about a man by watching him, noticing what looks at, noticing what he comments on, noticing what he stands up for.

 

I guess that's a good thing i'm standing up for not judging someone based on one post on an internet forum, I guess it's good that i'm standing up for working through relationship problems as oppopsed to just cut and running, I guess that's good I stand up for looking for the deeper issues instead of just noticing the surface of problems, I guess that's good I stand up for digging deep inside yourself to discover WHERE your values come from and WHY you have them...I guess all that is good, so you'd know what kind of person I am--right? But then again, I guess I wouldn't really care what kind of opinion a shortsighted and neotonic individual would form of me if they're evidence were a forum..... Just like none of everyone elses opinions on here matter about the OP's boyfriend, since they're so judgmental it makes one's skin crawl...

 

I mean I guess it's like how if I were a judgmental person, I'd look at someone whose post content is very negative, ignores other's responses and fails to address important points and runs and tries to shift the discussion elsewhere--I guess i'd make the conclusion that they do the same in life....BUT, i'm not judgmental and I couldn't do that, nor could I ever solicit advice to someone about their current marriage situation when i'm farther from the truth than anyone could possilbly be...Thank goodness few people do THAT kind of stuff, right?

 

But I guess i'm still confused as to how you're going to tell whether a not a man is attracted to girls you consider 'too young' when he's clearly going to go out of his way to hide it. I mean, this issue didn't surface for 6 years in the OP's case. I guess you're some sort of super sleuth who can detect this kind of stuff really early, or is this OP just not able minded enough to do that? Your call. Which brings me back to you PROJECTING and saying:

Unlike you, I think the OP is an able minded adult that even though getse advice from the people here, can ultimately make her own choice

 

So...your being quite inconsistent.

 

Either way, you failed again to address my question. So i'll still wait for an answer of how you'd KNOW..

[JackJack]

I've said it before on porn threads and I'll say it again. Of course this is just me, everyone is different.

 

I have seen my share of porn. I watch it still on occasion with my wife or by myself. I can take it or leave it, its not the be all end all of the world for me. It possibly comes from seeing so much of it in my younger days that now its just kind grown old, and boring. I am thankful though that I'm not one of these people out here who moves on to more drastic, terrible acts of porn to get my needs filled because "regular" porn doesn't do anything for me.

 

I have seen some terrible porn in my days. NO not just bad acting with little or no plot but awful in the treatment of women and many young looking as well. I did not say all porn was like this, but there is some. Of course what I might feel is bad another may not. And while it may be a person (s) women or mens choice to be in porn, it doesn't mean its right in the mistreatment of them.

 

As far as "younger" looking girls in porn here is MY take and thoughts on that. I do not, care for ANY porn that has a female in it that looks young. Yes I said young, as in a teen. Sure there are many women who are 18 or above and look very young. That's fine, but its not my cup of tea. I also did not say I enjoy ALL strictly MILF type of porn either. But there are many many hot women my age or around my age that look awesome for their age. That does alot for me. But perhaps I'm ok with my age, therefore younger looker doesn't always equal better.

 

I do not even watch porn where a older woman is even portrayed in a video of being a younger girl. Like I said, its not my thing. And while people may talk of biological issues and youth, and men being attracted to youth, that is all well and fine. BUT, biological or not, its still a choice to view a naked female that looks young and like a teen. If its your choice then it is. However, your choice may or may not effect the person you are involved with. If you like the really young looking girls and your spouse/partner doesn't, then perhaps you are mismatched and need to move on. Because lets face it I would imagine if its what you are into, and your partner isn't, then chances are you probably wont give up what you enjoy for your relationship. For SOME people, viewing porn of all kinds ALOT, that to them, usually is their relationship. Of course this is based on the fact if its an addiction or not.

 

I have also seen on here many times, where a person who defends something and debates on the issue over and over again,(especially porn) its usually because thats what that person believes in or enjoys them self. Take Jersey for example, she will debate till the cows come home on lots of issues with porn. WHY? Because possibly its because she doesn't care much for it. That's ok. So with that being said, maybe the ones who defend or debate so much on its ok to look at young girl porn is perhaps because they themselves enjoy it and think the viewing of "younger girls" is ok. Biological or not, its still a choice on the viewing, I choose not to, but like I said, thats just me.

 

SO to the OP, let us know how this all turns out for you.

[Jersey Shortie]

As always JackJack, your response has my respect. I like your style.

[clv0116]

I have also seen on here many times, where a person who defends something and debates on the issue over and over again,(especially porn) its usually because thats what that person believes in or enjoys them self.

 

Or maybe they just like to argue for what they think is right, whether they 'enjoy' it or not themselves.

[Paragon]

Or maybe they just like to argue for what they think is right, whether they 'enjoy' it or not themselves.

 

That can't be!!

[JackJack]

Or maybe they just like to argue for what they think is right, whether they 'enjoy' it or not themselves.

 

Could be. Anything is possible.

[Skump]

Okay, the instinctive "yuck" response aside...

 

The most fundamental problem, in my opinion, is that this isn't likely to be a weird but compartmentalized quirk of this guy's personality. Particularly given the fact that he's bi-polar, I'm guessing her BF is just a f*cked up dude in a lot of ways.

 

For point of comparison, imagine discovering that your BF liked shemale porn, though all evidence pointed to the fact that he was, for all practical purposes, straight. Suppose he never looked at normal guys, even in porn, never sought out gay experiences, etc., was enthusiastic about (straight) sex, etc. Well, maybe you could write that off as a kinky, compartmentalized quirk. Something about chicks with dicks causes a circuit in his brain to light up. It's anomalous.

 

I think this case is very likely to be essentially different. First of all, his attraction to young girls bespeaks serious insecurities: young girls make good partners neither intellectually nor sexually, so you've got to wonder just what he finds attractive about them. Given that she mentioned a "controlling" streak, I think it's likely his interest in kids emerges from serious feelings of inadequacy. When you view it in context of the guy's bi-polar disorder, he just reads like a basket case already, and AFAIK mental illness usually gets worse with age.

 

The OP is in the prime of her life right now. She's in that narrow window of time when her relationship "negotiating power" is at its peak. On a cool calculus of self-interest, this would be a really sub-optimal time to settle for a guy with a significant chance of turning out to be a freak.

[clv0116]

..... young girls make good partners neither intellectually nor sexually ....

 

Young girl is pretty non-deterministic, but the OP hasn't asserted there is any actual jail bait involved. I've flirted with the limits of age of consent and I can tell you that the second assertion in the above quote is absolutely wrong for the experiments I've run.

[JackJack]

Yes I think its more of a "control" kind of thing for some men who like or interested in "young girls."

 

Its likely its about some men, wanting to have that kind of power over someone so young, naive and inexperienced to make them feel more like a man, because for whatever reason they lack that.

[Trialbyfire]

Yes I think its more of a "control" kind of thing for some men who like or interested in "young girls."

 

Its likely its about some men, wanting to have that kind of power over someone so young, naive and inexperienced to make them feel more like a man, because for whatever reason they lack that.

To add to this, it's not just a control thing, it's also got to do with a fear of aging or death.

[JackJack]

To add to this, it's not just a control thing, it's also got to do with a fear of aging or death.

 

Agreed!

[clv0116]

Yes I think its more of a "control" kind of thing for some men who like or interested in "young girls."

 

Some men like firm smooth bodies that don't sag yet.

[JackJack]

Some men like firm smooth bodies that don't sag yet.

 

I'm sure. Hey whatever works for some!

[You'reasian]

Some men like firm smooth bodies that don't sag yet.

 

I don't believe you.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I kid, I kid.

 

I don't have any beef with people who are physically attracted to their younger counterparts - so long as its legal. As other female posters here have mentioned, older women oogle over young guys (18-22) at the gym - its the same concept - I don't come up with negative rationalizations of it. It is what it is.

 

So ladies in your 40's and 50's oogle over your young dudes. Have fun.

 

As far as relationships are concerned, I think it would be challenging to be with someone more than 10 years younger than yourself, due to differences in life experience - but that can be mitigated if the younger person is mature for their age and intelligent - otherwise dating someone much younger, they would probably have a lot of hangups and be difficult to get along with.

 

Yeah, personality matters.

Edited October 3, 2009 by You'reasian

[clv0116]

As far as relationships are concerned' date=' I think it would be challenging to be with someone more than 10 years younger than yourself, due to differences in life experience - but that can be mitigated if the younger person is mature for their age and intelligent ....[/quote']

 

That's a really good summary, the last 3 GF I had were 21, 24, and the current one is 17, years younger than I am. I had to wade through a lot of childish airheads to get to those 3, believe me.

 

Of course, no laws were broken in the research for this post.

[shadowplay]

We have a choice to pander to unhealthy attraction or not. You cannot remove the component of ethics, from attraction. If someone is attracted to young girls, when he's a full-grown man, it's time to figure out what's miswired and fix it, instead of enabling the behaviour.

 

I agree that an adult man who prefers young girls has a screw or two loose.

 

It's not merely socialization. Most adult men I know simply don't find women who aren't fully developed attractive. It's not normal.

[shadowplay]

Some men like firm smooth bodies that don't sag yet.

 

You mean the firm, under-developed body of a 16 year old girl who still has baby fat and basically looks like a kid?

 

Sorry but an adult guy being interested in a girl who is 17 or under is simply sick.

 

Most women maintain their figures through their twenties. There's no reason for a guy to go fishing in the kiddy pool if he's into firm bodies.

[clv0116]

You mean the firm, under-developed body of a 16 year old girl who still has baby fat and basically looks like a kid?

 

No I do not, thanks for asking.

[shadowplay]

No I do not, thanks for asking.

 

Some of the posters in this thread seem to be implying that it's natural for a guy to be attracted to girls that young.

[shadowplay]

 

I have also seen on here many times, where a person who defends something and debates on the issue over and over again,(especially porn) its usually because thats what that person believes in or enjoys them self.

 

You took the words out of my mouth.

 

All the men I know prefer their women to look like women. I'm sure there's a minority of guys who prefer girls who look like kids/teenagers, but they're just that...a minority.

 

 

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[clv0116]

Some of the posters in this thread seem to be implying that it's natural for a guy to be attracted to girls that young.

 

I'd say it's 100% natural. So what? Squatting to crap when the urge strikes is natural too, but civilized people find a comfort room.

[shadowplay]

I also agree that aging fears play a role. Ego is another factor. Because youth is so valued in our society, some guys get a surge of pride from bedding the youngest girl that they can. I think it's often more of a status thing than natural attraction. It's the same reason that most models are so young (usually only 15-17). Our tasteless society is all about extremes. If something like youth or money is valued, the more the better even when it defies reason and biological attraction.

 

In objective terms, women in their twenties are more physically attractive than most teenage girls because they're fully developed. There are women here and there who peak in their late teens and go downhill in their twenties (Brooke Shields, Mila Jovovich, Liz Taylor), but more often than not it works in the reverse.

[shadowplay]

I'd say it's 100% natural. So what? Squatting to crap when the urge strikes is natural too, but civilized people find a comfort room.

 

Well, I completely disagree with you that it's natural. I don't know many men who find young teenagers more attractive than twenty-somethings. And if they did I would question their psychological health.

[clv0116]

Well, I completely disagree with you that it's natural. I don't know many men who find young teenagers ....

 

Well I wouldn't consider 16 a "young teenager", it's either a young women, or a teenager, "young teenager" implies early teens. The average 16 year old girl is able to bear offspring and let's face it, that's what sex is for. It's only fun so people will actually do it.

 

Obviously with billions of units in service the survival of the species doesn't hinge on knocking them up as soon as possible now, but that's not gonna change the wiring.

[shadowplay]

Well I wouldn't consider 16 a "young teenager", it's either a young women, or a teenager, "young teenager" implies early teens. The average 16 year old girl is able to bear offspring and let's face it, that's what sex is for. It's only fun so people will actually do it.

 

Obviously with billions of units in service the survival of the species doesn't hinge on knocking them up as soon as possible now, but that's not gonna change the wiring.

 

Yes, I consider 16 a young teenager. I reiterate that it's abnormal for a grown man to be more attracted to a girl who is sixteen than a woman in her twenties.

 

A woman is most fertile AND equipped to rear offspring in her early twenties, so it wouldn't make biological sense for men to have a preference for teenagers. I think it's mostly a social effect. You would be surprised at how much sexual preferences which seem completely individual are influenced by what society tells us we should like.