saddy Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Lately I feel scared often... scared of what? I'm not sure actually... I'm at step of my life where I feel completely lost. 2 years ago, I moved to California with my wife. We were both excited about it, looking for some change before settling down and having a familly. Then I began to feel depressed... not many friends, difficulties to create friendship with people at work,... not the first time it happened to me. Then my wife met a new guy and broke up with me. We didn't divorce so that I could stay here and we're still in touch actually. I began to see a psychologist, took antidepressant and felt way better for about 6 months. During that time, I met a girl, my current girlfriend, and then I stopped taking medication... and then I began to feel anxious and sad again. I had to change job 2 months ago, so that I might get a work visa (it's still in discussion actually). I am moving to a new apt next week, to be closer to my new girlfriend. But I'm scared that it might not last with her. I don't know anybody there, and I fear it will take me time to adapt to my new neighbourhood. Moreover, my gf wants to go back to college next year... I don't know where she'll be admitted and that may be very far. At the same time, my (still) wife wants to go back home. It makes me wonder if I should stay here after all. Not that I want to go back with her but just I wonder if I really have my place here... where I have difficulties to adapt. But on the other hand, what's waiting for me home? Ok, I have my parents. I've never been really close to my brother so I don't see why it would change. And I have a few friends left there, that I haven't seen for a while because there's so few vacations here that I almost never have time to go back. And I thought I want to get into my new job 100% to start having a real career but I realize that it may not be what I really like to do... Well, as you see, I have no idea where I'm heading... Sometimes I feel excited about all the possibilities I have in life... and the minute later I feel scared that I'm gonna end up alone and miserable... Do you have any idea of what I should do? Have you ever felt the same way? Link to post Share on other sites
Vlad Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Focus on getting your visa, that should be your first priority you have sacrificed a lot to get it now stay put and do what ever you have to get it. Let your girl do whatever she wants with her life if she takes off its her lost, there are too many girls out there for you to be worry about one, don’t let that take your away your sleep at night. You might want to consider getting back with your ex just for the sole purpose of getting thru with your visa, Im sure your are still in love with her so finish the visa issue and then move on without her. If your new job is a steady one and one that you can build a career on work on it with full passion, you might change your goals later but now stay on it and see where it leads, times today are not easy and you should take care of your job if it is a good one. That what I’ll do if I was in your position, just my 2 cents. Link to post Share on other sites
Author saddy Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 Thanks Vlad, I think you're right about my ex... I just realized that I haven't moved on yet. Anybody I know here could move somewhere else, I wouldn't really care. But imagining that she's gonna be a few thousand miles away makes me feel lonely. But I know I don't want to go back with her, so what can I do? I almost don't have any contact with her, so it's not like it's gonna be very different from now... and still, that's making me feel depressed... Link to post Share on other sites
HGP Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 If you haven't got over your ex then stop all contact with her. That's the only way you'll be able to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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