Olly Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 have been with my bf for 2 years, although only one year of that is the 'official' year. We were both having problems with our partners when we met at a party and became friends as a consequence. Our other halves were both living in different countries and we were both having difficulties maintaining the long distance relationship thing. We had dinner together and chatted about our partners. Then he was dumped by hus girlfriend, after a period of a year and a half where she was umming and ahhhing about whether they should be together and taking a huge amount of money off him every month for her 'keep'. I met up with my ex and decided there was nothing left and me and present bf got together. I thought it was a new start and was looking forward to embarking on a relaitonship with him because I had always liked him and had really, finished my ex for him. But he was DUMPED. I dont think at at any point would he have left her for me. (and she snidely told me this) Consequently I became to obssess about her, somthing I vowed not to do having done this over my EX's ex too. I would spent ages looking at photos of her, at how pretty she was, and her nice expensive clothes etc...and looking for her stuff in his apartment which was still EVERYWHERE. Phots everywhere etc....We decided to move in together and apart from photos, we chucked all her stuff out. But I cant stop thinking about her. He is still in touch with her via email, not so much text anymore and he says that they are just friends. I am still in touch with one of my ex's and can understand this. But I am convinced that he is still holding all these feelings for her and he can never love me as much as he loved her. That he is happy one day, not because of me, but maybe he got a nice email from her. He asures me that there is nothing between them but friendship, that is is past and she has a new boyfriend and life and the emails are just chatty about what they've been up to and they are not regular. I cannot underrstand why he wants to be in contact with her when she treated him so awfully at the end and why he still needs to be incontact with her. I know these fears are irrational but they dominate my mind night and day. I am crippled by this fear that she is so much in everyway better than me and that he still longs to be with her............ I am driving myself mad. I called her once to get some answers and she said things like"I know he would get back with me right now" (this was a year ago, soon after they split) but I cant get that our my head or the feelings of rage I feel for her over confidence. I really need help because i am making myself ill and depressed and I really love this guy and want to be with him but I know that I cannot ask him to stop emailing who he wants to and if I did, he may still reply to her emails without me knowing...................... Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 Olly You only need post your question in one forum. People will reply to you on the other board. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olly Posted November 25, 2003 Author Share Posted November 25, 2003 Ok. I see. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
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