amb208 Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 ...I have been in a few long term relationships in the past and I thought this time was it. We met and instantly fell in love, or so I thought. He moved in to my house about a year ago and, for the first time ever, I was truly happy. Things went smoothly until July when he confessed that he wanted to be on his own. To this day he denies that there is someone else but I have my doubts. I know all of the conventional wisdom, "you'll find someone else", "you deserve better", "time heals", etc. etc. etc. Even though I have been keeping busy between work, my house and reading all sorts of self help books, I think of him ALL the time. I cannot shake him. I am so profoundly sad, depressed and distraught. It has been a month since he left. Even though it was his choice and he insists that I did nothing wrong, he is being very cool towards me. Formal, aloof. Mr. "T" was married for 10 years, went from that to a year-long relationship then to me. I can understand him needing time and space. I honestly gave him a great deal of freedoms with out any guilt. I always was supportive and encouraging of him needing time, "with the boys", or whatever. I Know that I am a good person and deserve good things but I am stuck in this rut and cannot see my way out. I resist all contact. Any advise on how to begin to let go?! Link to post Share on other sites
yogi-mon Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 Take the free time to improve yourself. Learn something new, get in shape, whatever. Will help to fill your time, and help to improve your self confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
dlb311 Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 I also feel I have lost my true love but in time life with give you answers. You do need to work on yourself. I have been in two long term realtionships. Anfter the first break up I learned alot about myself. This time it has along been 4 months about and I have learned about realtionships this time. I still haven't learned why we are not together. But he said RIGHT NOW he needs his time. I can be respectful of that. But that means I need my time too. If I was to meet someone else I would move in that direction full heartedly. But I know that he was the one I will always want. He will be the one I will say it could have worked. But he may come back as well as your guy it hasn't been that long. I am not saying to hold on for that. But just live your life and everything will come together. Don't let someone elses chioces make your life suck. Its really his lose not yours. So let him be the loser and you the winner. Life is to short to waist on some man that would walk out so easly. If he realizes what he had and comes back you will have to fogive him and move on from it if that is what you chooce. But in the mean time just try to hang with friends, family and go out and have fun. Find a new hobby. Work out I have always worked out but I made new goals. I have lots 20 pounds and I am so proud of myself. I am strong and I can do anything and that is the way you have to think also. Just remember there is more then one person for everyone. I do believe that this is the one man I will always wish would have worked out but if it doesn't I know I can still be happy with someone else and that is what you need to come to terms with. If you want him back. Be nice and let him see what he is missing. Don't be mean, upset, or depressed. Let him see how strong you are. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 Unfotunately Amb....hearts heal slow. I think the first 3 months are the hardest though....because of all the VOID time. Finding a diversion will help to some degree.......the rest will just take time. I hurt over a relationship so much one time, my whole body ached. I finally took everything I had which reminded me of him in a box to store in the back of my closet. I left the radio off. When a thought of him would come into my mind....I'd block it and hum to myself. They sound like silly things to do....but it DID really help! Now, a year later....I still have a "memory dysfuntion" every now and then. Overall though, I've moved on and have found happiness in my life....WITHOUT him in it. Just hang in there and know one day.....you won't feel like you do now. Link to post Share on other sites
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