jumi Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 we all know LDR's are a rollercoaster, and not the fun ones either (since I love most rollercoasters, not the best analogy) I am just having a "down" day. I hope you guys don't mind this kind of a post, I know this is nothing new; but I feel like this forum is pretty forgiving of vent-posts. Is therapy. College is fun (2nd year). Though one of my close friends from last year is being a jerk-face, not going to get into that but it's tiring. And it's not always fun to be around other couples and see them hold each other. gah. It's not jealousy by any means, just reminds me how sucky this can be sometimes. And in the back of my mind I always have this intense fear that this isn't the worst of the LDR... that he is going to go to graduate school in another country before I get my bachelors (he is 2 yrs ahead of me). God it's so scary. It's really really painful to think of that possibility. Honestly, a part of me feels like I'd just drop whatever I was doing and just go with him. That thought is definitely not making the next 4 weeks go by quicker... I do not really want to talk to him about it online, I'd rather it be face to face and look him in the eyes. But man... to suffer with that thought for 4 weeks is just killer. Do you think there is a smaller less-intense question I could ask on the matter to help me feel better? Like... 'do you think this will be the longest we'll be apart?' tho I don't think that'll aleviate anything. I just need a release. Really badly. =(. Link to post Share on other sites
Ingenue Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Jumi, I'm so sorry you're feeling down. Are you feeling better this afternoon? I have down days all the time and my SO just started a grad degree so I can relate to the uncertainty that you're feeling. Unfortunately I have no good advice to give. Presumably there will be a point where you'll no longer be satisfied with a long distance relationship. When that time comes and when seeing your bf once every weekend or occasionally, will no longer suffice, the both of you will have to make a hard decision. Are you at that point now? Or are you simply trying to keep your anxiety levels and uncertainty in check? Even though I'm new to LDRs, I try to see them as other relationships, simply separated by distance. In every other relationship I've been in, I've never required guarantees or promises. It is taking it day by day and seeing where the relationship goes. I know when distance is involved, it must be much harder to "go with the flow". But I'm beginning to think that the more I try to force the issue and insist on a certain outcome, the less likely that outcome will occur. You can't predict the future, even in non-LDR relationships. You can only have faith and hope and see where it goes. I know that this doesn't at all alleviate the anxiety you're feeling and I wish I could give you better advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jumi Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 haha that's ok Ingenue, i wasn't necessarily looking for heart warming advice anyway, just wanted someone to listen. no no it's nothing like "that time is coming". this guy is the one, I want to share the rest of my life with him. no matter how awful the distance gets i am not letting this relationship slip through my fingers. I am willing to be apart for a year while he is in graduate school and im finishing up undergrad, I will go through that for him, because one year in comparison to the rest of our lives is nothing. but it would absolutely crush me if that did happen, it would hurt so bad. but you are right, just take it one day at a time. i should just remind myself to be thankful that I have a guy who loves me like he does =) Link to post Share on other sites
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