ssj4trunks09 Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Ok so me and a friend that I've known since middle school have falling attracted to each other. We actually like each other, we're both in college now and it just suddenly happened. We both hang around with the same group of friends. But we're worried if we do start going out, and we break up things will get complicated. Worried about the fact that it will split the group up. I hang around with her brother a lot. If we were to go out things with me and him will be ackward from then on. If we break up, I'm afraid I can't hang around with her brother anymore. Right now. We're just letting it be. We're just letting things happen and if it happens it happens. But it's so hard and it seems to me as the day goes by that she's avoiding me more and more so that nothing WILL happen. I was doing the same in the beginning but she told me not to and just let things happen. But it's hard. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Right now. We're just letting it be. We're just letting things happen and if it happens it happens. But it's so hard and it seems to me as the day goes by that she's avoiding me more and more so that nothing WILL happen. I was doing the same in the beginning but she told me not to and just let things happen. But it's hard. What should I do? That is probably the worst way to go about this. Nothing will ever happen on it's own. You will always stay in this constant state of unsure and you will be driven insane by it. If you want it, go for it. Let nothing get in the way. If she's not willing to move forward with you, then you've got to leave her behind. You can wait, but she can't expect you to wait around forever. Right now, you are an option to her and that's not what you should be. Either way, things will be complicated. If you two get together and break up, it will become complicated. If you stay "friends" it will become complicated with feelings. Unfortunately, there is no way to avoid complications. But that's just life. Link to post Share on other sites
TTally Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I disagree with Rangler. I have friends that were in our group in college that dated and broke up- and we still act fine. Might be for awhile but if you go into a relationship just have the pre-date talk. "If we do this and this happens lets at least not HATE each other." Being friends after break-up's is hard- but you can be civil about it until you both move on to others. Around each other- ..... complicated for sure. In a group? Your adults now. Get over it and watch your anime (yes, I know what a Super Saiyan is) and play your games. Friends come and go. Don't ever let them control your relationships. Go for it. Try dating casually. Grab a movie here and there- see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Odyssey Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 ssj4trunks09, What if we breakup!? Will you two (yes her also) just quit worrying already? You'll deal with it, if it happens. If everyone went through life stressing, nothing will get done because they weren't willing to take a risk. Look man, hang out together. Have fun. Enjoy. Link to post Share on other sites
berry_oh Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 This is all really up to you now. Do you think it's worth going out with her despite the possible break up and awkwardness with your friends? Do you like her enough to risk that? If you really don't think it's worth the risk then don't go for it, but you should have a talk with this girl and discuss this otherwise things are going to just be weird with you two since you're both unsure of each other's thoughts and feelings about this. Establish that you guys are good friends and want to stay just that. But if you're willing to take a chance and put your friendship on the line for a relationship, then don't let your doubt get in the way and try. Yes you may break up, but then again, you also may not. So like I said in the beginning, it all comes down to you. hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
meetrich Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I like your post and I am enjoying Thanks ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssj4trunks09 Posted September 24, 2009 Author Share Posted September 24, 2009 Well.. it seems now I think I'm just going to move on. Here's what happened: Her and her ex are really good friends. They had broken up mutually and she lost her virginity to him. I noticed that she clings onto him even though she had broken up 2 years ago and she's had two boyfriends since each for 6 months. Yet, the guy is still there in her life. They always choose the same classes together as well. She says she still going to be his friend because they help each other out in class and studying. Also, I noticed she hasn't been responding to my texts lately. Even Monday telling me that she's been too busy to respond my texts. Yet, I noticed she has no trouble texting or calling him. Even last saturday they were going to go to each dinner together. Just today I texted her and she didn't respond back. Last week, I kissed her and I'm reallly thinking it was a mistake because of the situation now. She said she liked it and I should've done it again, yet this week she's just ignoring me. My instincts say to move on because after she said "She's been too busy to respond to my texts" I take that as a hint. On top of that, the clinging to her ex boyfriend and not having a problem texting him but to me she can't is another problem. Btw, I had texted her if she just wanted to stay as friends. I would think she would respond to that but she didn't. Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Anytime someone ignores you, it is a blow to your Ego. We all have the human need to feel listened to, cared about so when you perceive you are being ignored it hurts. But you have to fight to urge to be the child who keeps screaming, "Pay attention to me!" You've said your piece, so leave the ball in her court and move on. She's obviously messed up on her ex. Look at her relationships since then. 2 lasting only 6 months? That's not a very good track record and it only reinforces the point she is completely hung up on her ex. As hard as it is, you do not need to be a part of the 3-way love chase triangle. Go find a girl that actually wants to be with you, that actually communicates back. Believe me, you'll be stunned at how much crap you put up with when you find the new girl. You'll smack yourself in the head and say, "Oh sh*t! This is how it's supposed to be!" This doesn't mean end things with this girl right now. Merely you need to let go of your grasp on her and let her live her own life right now. If she wants to get back in touch with you, she will. Just lay low and let things work out. You've done all you can do. You've told her, you've showed her but she's not willing to act on it. It's time to let things simmer down and in the meantime go find yourself someone who can return your feelings. When that happens, watch out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssj4trunks09 Posted September 24, 2009 Author Share Posted September 24, 2009 Well then I guess I'm just going to have to keep her as a friend for now. She replied back this morning, I had asked her last night if she wanted to stay as friends. Her response was "Yeah" and I guess she regretted her answer and texted again "I think so". I guess I'ma just keep her as a friend now. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 What does that feel like, making relationship moments on a phone screen? Maybe the pastor can just text "Do you take this woman ....." Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssj4trunks09 Posted September 24, 2009 Author Share Posted September 24, 2009 Yeah you're right I should've asked her that in person :S. Well, kinda too late now. I guess keep her as a friend... right? Link to post Share on other sites
whiteberry Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Keep her as a friend is more better.. I think. Because if both of you really meant for each other, she will find her way to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssj4trunks09 Posted October 6, 2009 Author Share Posted October 6, 2009 I see, thanks alot everyone . Link to post Share on other sites
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