Satisfing Oneself....

[longlegzs80]

When I talk about satisfying oneself, I don't mean in a sexual manner. I am looking to figure out how I can satify myself as far as being happy and living life to the fullest. Hope this makes sense. I just find it hard to figure out what joy I get out of things in life. I can see I take things for granite sometimes as far as looking at my life and thinking it is so hard when others have it very very worse. So, I want and am asking the loveshack forum to help me as far as figuring out ways of satisfying oneself where I am content and happy with myself.

[moimeme]

You could start by trying to remember the times in your life when you were happiest. What were you doing? Who were you with? What did you enjoy - the people, the place, the activity or event? Those will be clues to the sorts of things that make you happy and where to look for more.

 

Another thing you can do is to spend some time on literally 'smelling the roses'; stop yourself as you're going somewhere or doing something to take a moment and really look at something that pleases you - a lovely sunset, a cute baby, a beautiful building - anything you might take for granted usually.

 

Oprah for a while recommended having a 'blessing book' beside your bed and, each night, writing down at least one thing that you are thankful for - literally, counting your blessings!

[mattdad]

What did you do to be happy before you met your ex? Dance? Write? Hike? Paint?

In spite of how you may feel right now, there is a whole world out there just waiting to be explored.

I discovered that many of the times that I was with my ex and really enjoying myself - it was just that! I WAS having fun and she wasn't! Case in point - we attended a show at the Getty Museum in Los Angeles - I had a great time, while she was bored to tears...

Slight problem with mutual interests there...

Just take the ex out of the equation and move on...

[HokeyReligions]

I know what you mean I think. I used to (sometimes still do) look at things in my life that are just snapshots of laughter or fun, but I still don't feel really content in between those happy times. For a while I fell into that "those were the good old days" syndrome where it seemed like life was simpler and I enjoyed it more than I do now. I realized I was looking back thru rose-colored glasses!

 

When I find myself thinking like that I have to make myself stop and think about TODAY. If I look ahead too much I tend to want to plan everything out in advance and that means planning for any eventuality -- in my case those are negatives. The happy times seem to be spontaneous more than planned. I'm not making any sense and I don't know how to explain it.

 

I still try to plan for some things -- like saving money in case of unemployment or a huge financial hit like car repairs or vet bills, but I used to let those things overshadow what could be contentment. I have to shift my focus on what I have now. The car IS running, the dogs ARE okay. I stop to enjoy what I have now.

 

I don't laugh as much as I used to because I'm not as actively pursuing things that are fun. We used to get together with friends every month or so and just play board game and talk and laugh. Now, its like we can't do it because it costs so much in gas to get anywhere - and our friends are the same way, or we can't afford the "munchie" contributions to a get-together. Or I don't have time to stop and smell the flowers because I'm running late! Well, then I have to make myself get up earlier so I do have time, or else "arrange" to be late to work if I can. There are times when I've told my boss that I would be an hour late for work because of an appointment but I would make it up during lunch. Well, I did that a couple of times over the years and I just spend that hour in the morning playing with the dogs which gave me a better outlook when I went in to work.

 

I recently went through a period where I was really stressing over finances, and work, and what I perceived as a lack of respect from co-workers because of my job and the things that I have. I had a post about having an above ground pool and how when they found out my pool was above ground they dismissed it as not a "real" pool like theirs. I let that make me feel bad. All sorts of things like that were piling up on my shoulders and weighing me down so that I couldn't enjoy my life because I was feeling like I wasn't as good as everyone else. I didn't admit that to myself - I told myself that I knew I was just as good as everyone else, but I wasn't "feeling" it and I didn't recognize that in myself. I posted about that here and a few people gave me a cyber kick in the rear and I came to my senses! Once I started "feelilng" what I had been telling myself, I felt better. I know, that doesn't make any sense -- sorry

 

Look at the things that give you joy without thinking about what anyone else might think of you for it. Concentrate on that and lift your head. I found that I get more respect if I show that I respect myself, and in that I find contentment.

[Arabess]

I think everyone goes thru periods of 'discontent'. It comes with the territory of life. No one feel happy all the time or thinks they've achieved all they could had they applied themsleves differently. We can feel blue due to stress, the job, some goofy guy or a few extra pounds.

 

How you feel about yourself though....is the 'you' which is projected to the world. I think it's important for everyone to assess themselves from time to time to make sure they don't let themselves get too far in a negative rut.

 

All the advice on this thread is so excellent. Maybe you will consider printing them out and begin applying them to your life. The only only person who needs to be satisfied with YOU....IS YOU! Make a list of those things which are bringing you down.....and begin working on them one by one. Every hurdle you cross will bring you a new satisfaction and joy.

 

(I think I'll print this post also.....I can do some SERIOUS wallowing in self pity from time to time....LOL!)