herewegoagain Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 I'm going to try to make this as brief as possible. I have a great female friend we've been friends for over 10 years. She and my husband are also great friends. They are very much like brother/ sister, always have been, long before I was ever involved. As a matter of fact she set us up and has worked to keep us together on more than one occassion. I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt their relationship is strictly platonic. Here's my dilema. Because her and my husband are such good friends, me and her husband have gotten to be great friends. Since they seem to hang together or chat together when we are all together that leaves he and I together. The thing is I've begun to wonder if maybe there is something more between us. At times we text each other over 150 times per month. While our spouses are aware of some of these texts, they are not aware of them all. The texts are not overly flirty and have NEVER been sexual. I have noticed the last few times I've been around him though I feel nervous and he'll be super chatty one minute and hardly say anything the next. We don't openly talk like we used, yet when we are all out together he usually opens my door, waits on me to get out of the car and many times he and I walk side my side. Am I just fortunate enough to have a great guy friend or are we getting ready to head into rocky territory? He has told her I am now his best female friend, but is that all it is? Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 If you think he is into you and you WANT to act on it, thats the only time you should be worried about how he acts. If you do NOT want to cheat on your husband, then tyou shouldnt even worry about it. Your friends husband might also be tryin to warm you up to a 4 some. Link to post Share on other sites
4givrnt4gtr Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 If i learned something about people is that we should ALWAYS trust our instinct. AKA if you think something is going on, it is. Act accordingly. If you want to avoid problems with your husband and cut the intensity with your friend back off. Trust me, been there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author herewegoagain Posted September 20, 2009 Author Share Posted September 20, 2009 Oh, I KNOW a 4 some is nowhere in his mind! Maybe I should cut back, but I enjoy his company and his friendship. PLUS if I cut back then our spouses will wonder what's going on....My main thing is whether or not we are on the same page as far as this friendship goes? Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Oh, I KNOW a 4 some is nowhere in his mind! Maybe I should cut back, but I enjoy his company and his friendship. PLUS if I cut back then our spouses will wonder what's going on....My main thing is whether or not we are on the same page as far as this friendship goes? The amount of texting that you guys do might read in his mind that you are into him. If youre not, stop it. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 If you're confused about the nature of this friendship then I can say there's something going on between the two of you be it just harmless flirting or otherwise. You should cut back on the texting and try to hang out with your husband more. I've never heard of a friendship where the other spouses hang out more than they do with the person they married. Link to post Share on other sites
Author herewegoagain Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 Well to explain a little further, it's not like my husband and his friend talk continuously or we are with them every weekend. We live about 100 miles apart. My husband rarely if ever call her and she the same, but when they do they will talk for hours. With this said I can also spend hours on the phone with her no problem. I am often the one to text first but his replies are usually instant. The last time we were together he was really nice to me, but seem very snippy with his wife. Even though they have both told me stories of their disagreements it was the first time I had actually seen him get somewhat frustrated with her. Do you think it was because I was around and he was frustrated that she was in the way? Link to post Share on other sites
ebab83 Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I would say that asking questions like the one above could very well mean a part of you wants him to be acting differently around him. Maybe you would like to make him feel attracted to you, but when you do this you worry as it's not would you want in the long term. It sounds to me like maybe you were/are craving the attention of a man. By this do i, in any way mean it as a ad thing, we all like to be the focus of someones attentions or to feel like we can make men/women a little attracted. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 If your H and his wife are unaware that you share 150 texts messages with each other a month....its a lie of omission. Why the lie? Is it possible that, for whatever reason, HER husband became irritated or even threatened by the friendship between his wife and your husband...so he decided to get friendlier with you? You did mention that sometimes when you are together he is snippy to his wife but very friendly to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Rylle Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 If your H and his wife are unaware that you share 150 texts messages with each other a month....its a lie of omission. Why the lie? Is it possible that, for whatever reason, HER husband became irritated or even threatened by the friendship between his wife and your husband...so he decided to get friendlier with you? You did mention that sometimes when you are together he is snippy to his wife but very friendly to you. This pretty much said it all. It also sounds like you want him to be interested in/attracted to you. Link to post Share on other sites
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