He hung up on me this morning final nail in the coffin

[Jordanjames]

My sister says just "move on" when I told her this morning that my ex boyfriend hanged up on me this morning. I am "moving on"

 

now I kind of regret calling him "Friday night". But I admit I was curious about what he was up to. And now I know he basically

 

is still very angry at me and he was just "waiting for me" to call.

 

I just think hanging up on someone you have known for seven years is a very egregious thing to do. I would never do that to

 

someone.

 

Yes I admit I broke the no contact rule Friday night. I can't turn back time so there is no point in debating it. The last time we "talked" to each other was in June.

 

I did not know he "hates me" but it seems like he does.

 

I will explain the situation, so basically I have known this guy for seven years.

Last year we got sexually involved and started dating but it did not work out.

For a couple of months I tried the whole "let's be friends" thing because that's what he wanted.

 

In the Spring/Summer of 2009 I just started to notice my feelings for him were surfacing again.

 

In late June 2009 he called on evening and I said "I don't think I can be your friend. I think I want to move on with my life."

 

Maybe I should of said "I need some space".

 

He says "this sounds permanent".

 

I didn't answer I did not know what to say.

 

He says "I can give you space if that's what you want?"

 

 

I said "I am sick of the arguing and the fighting. I don't want to fight anymore."

 

He said "I can't believe you are doing this. I don't know what to say to you?"

 

 

I just felt like things were becoming toxic between us. When I saw him in June we fought the entire night and I was just getting sick of the fighting.

 

He hung up on me in June and I didn't call him until Friday night. I left a phone message. The message yes I will admit what I said in the message.

Anyway, I said "I miss you" in the message but no response.

 

So Sunday night/Monday morning I decide to call the phone rings perhaps twice and then it disconnects so I know he hanged up on me.

 

I guess he was just "waiting" for me to "contact him" to "hang up on me".

 

I think it will be easier this time around.When I think about it we haven't been a part of each other's lives since June 2009 so we haven't talked in about three months.

 

Things are going well in my life I am making solid changes. I have returned

 

to school and although I have a degree I am back in university.

 

I just found out yesterday some poems I wrote got published.

 

Also, I went to see a film at a festival with a female friend on Saturday

 

night and I had a good time.

 

I know the world has not "ended", the sky has not "fallen", and the

 

all that.

 

Do I miss him. Of course I do. I now realize that he sent the message

 

he wanted to send he is obviously very angry still about June and I will

 

just continue to move on with my life and leave him alone.

 

I deserve better, and I deserve happiness. I believe this is a learning

 

experience and I don't think I am the bad guy here or that I am the only

 

one at fault. We are both at fault here.

 

I lost a very good friend but I know I will survive this of course.

 

I guess I am just venting.

 

But I do feel better writing out my feelings.