I really need insight about my wife(screwed up story)

[milkmaterial]

kinda kinky web ex. i liked it.

 

a while back, i fell madly in love with a guy named Travis. he was super hot, hot body and could cook mad steak. i would do everything for him. he was the extra spring in my step.

 

we havent had sex but he started talking to me about 3somes and stuff. it was like, he couldnt get off unless i promised that it was gonna happen. he said it was only for my enjoyment.

 

i did not want to share him.

 

as time passed by my love for him waned. and i feel better its this way.

 

anyway all i can say is that 3somes are rarely good, its gonna either make or break ur relationship and in this case it broke urs. for the sake of ur kids, try to fix it.

 

ALSO

 

u mentioned ur wifey just given birth, i can say shes suffering from some kind of postpartum depression. spend a lot of time with her, date her, make her feel special and secured.

 

hope it all works out dude!

[seibert253]

She'll act remorseful for a time. She'll apologize profusely. She'll even go so far as to make you feel bad for having to forgive her so much.

 

And ten or fifteen years down the road you'll end up divorced anyway, except you'll have kids who know all the sordid details of all her affairs and flings over the years, and a bunch of assets to split up (that you worked your a$$ off to attain, but she gets half anyway), and huge attorney bills, and massive alimony to the cheating b!tch who ruined your life.

 

She knew you were reticent to do it, and she pushed you anyway. She has no respect for you, and will not gain any. Trust me on this. Your relationship is dead in the water, she'll abuse you when you're least expecting it, and she'll know she can come crawling back at any time.

 

But...deep in your heart...you will never forgive her for this. It will eat at you. It will erode your soul. It will compromise your values. You will become more insecure. You will question what she's doing when she's late coming home from work or out with friends. Jealousy will breed resentment, and ultimately hatred.

 

Let it go, and try again with a new woman. One who respects you and your relationship. And next time, make sure you really know the person you're making a commitment to.

 

I understand where this is coming from, but I do not agree with it in this instance.

Dude knows his wife better than all of us put together. He also knows himself. This is about what he feels. He feels his wife can put this behind her, and is truly remorseful and sorry about what transpired, then healing can occur and they can have a long successful marriage.

Both parties have to acknowlege what's wrong and work to fix this. IMO I think the overindulgence of alcohol played a BIG part in all this.

Step 1: Stop drinking

Step 2: MC. IMO this is a must. Dude may move on, but the resentment will never truly dissappear without counseling. Also, if his wife is truly remorseful, she will never be able to forgive herself without help. (based upon her reactions the way he described it, I feel she is sorry and hurt by what she's done)

 

The fact that she's never had any further contact with the "friend" I think reinforces my above thought. If she "enjoyed" it and wanted more, she would have been texting or emailing right off the bat.

 

My friend, the decision to remain married or bail lies solely with you. You know you and your wife better than all of us. We're giving you opinions and options, but it's up to you to digest all these opinions, and weigh them with what occurred, and what's transpired since, to formulate your plan. If nothing else, TAKE YOUR TIME before you make any lifechanging decisions. Time will heal if you allow it.

 

Peace,

[Jada]

You guys swam through uncharted waters and got hurt big time. I'm not in the position to condone your wifes behaviour, it's not up to me to do that.

 

This is going to make or break your relationship it just depends how things go.

 

I wanted a 3 some with my ex, males and females, but never bought up the subject of males because it was a no no. My ex said yes to a female but we never went through in the end and from stories I've heard I'm glad I didn't I don't think I would have liked the consequences.

 

Times are going to be tough for a while, you guys have to sort this out and only time is the factor. Something like this can not be swept under the carpet.

[WebEX's Wife]

For some reason my husband decided earlier to send me the link to this, after several hours of being made to feel bad via chat, about something that happened over 8 months ago. After reading all the replies, and several minutes of hyperventilating while contemplating what an awful person I am I have decided to put in my own two cents.

 

Needless to say many wounds still feel fresh for both of us. I'm thankful for the replies from folks who have some compassion and understanding, I am also both thankful and dismayed for the replies from those people who just believe me to be a worthless ho. It is easy to assume things like that about people when you don't know them personally and only know a small part of the story.

 

I have been in a relationship with my husband since I was 13 years old, except for the events that happened that one night, I have NEVER cheated on him, I never as much as kissed another person since I met him when I was 13. He is 4 years older than me, I moved in with him when I was 16, he was 19-20yrs old.

 

I found out I was pregnant 6 days after my 18th birthday. I got fat, and miserable, and after having my first baby I did have post partum, 3 months after having our 1st baby I find out Im pregnant with our 2nd child. Still feeling fat and unattractive. All the while Im finding porn links on our computer, and it only made me feel even worse about myself, and deepend my depression. When I try to tell my husband how much it hurts me, he only responds with anger towards me. And by the way I have been a stay at home mom since our first child was born, I spend all day cleaning, cooking, giving baths, changing diapers, and most of my free time is spent chatting online with my husband while he is at work.

 

He got a better job, we moved to another state, when our 2nd child was 2 weeks old. There was a period of time I didn't leave our house 1 time at all during a 3 month time span. So to all you who think I was out with friends, screwing other men, to that I say, well I have no friends, and no I never go out by myself, usually if I leave the house its with my husband and children, or just my children.

 

Anyway, there were alot of control issues going on, alot of feeling secluded after moving, total lack of a social life, and it's still that way.

 

I decided to take control of my life and change the things that made me unhappy, I worked out several times a day, went on a healthy diet, lost weight and toned up. I started getting my nails done, and tanning at a tanning salon, and these were the only few times I took time for myself, by myself, out of the house in what feels like several years.

 

I started feeling great about myself, like I had been accomplishing things, I spend SO MUCH of my life taking care of our kids, and I am so thankful to have them, and that resonsibility in my life. I felt as though I had been living in a shell for years, and wanted to break out, be carefree, try new things, and I put my family, my children at risk for it.

 

I love my husband more than anyone would ever know, I am very attached to him, I am 22yrs old at this time, he has been my world for 9 years, and I have a family with him.

 

Yeah I made a mistake, and you know what, the hurt I have caused the man I love, is almost unbearable to me, It's right up there with the feeling you would have if you accidently killed one of your children. These days I wander if I even deserve to be with him. Really anytime I have considered divorcing him in the recent past it's been because I feel unworthy of the good life and all the security I could have with him, as well as his love.

 

Really I don't know what else to say. I feel like a complete wreck, and really regret the mistakes I made. Being young and stupid is really no excuse for what happened. Honestly I just feel like a ****ty person alot. Guilt is constantly glooming over my daily life, somedays are worse, some days are better than others. I wish I could be happy for my childen's sake, I just feel like such a horrible person, Somedays I don't even feel like I deserve happiness, and I don't deserve my children or my husband because I could put my families security at risk for some cheap thrill.

 

Go ahead and hate me, I don't blame you, because I honestly hate myself, I have hated myself for 8 months. Sorry for any spelling errors, or any parts of this that don't make sense.

[WebEx]

Sigh, sending this thread to my wife, good idea or bad idea? I'm not really sure. This girl is very dear to me and I haven't been very good at forgiveness.

 

I'm determined to forgive...

 

And no my wife has never been a ho.

 

 

Now to see if the tables turn against me amongst this community, I don't care either way, people can judge other peoples situations but no one can know everyones unique situations such as ours.

[McGrupp]

pretty sure she read the thread.

 

btw, this was very entertaining. the gun thing...classic

[lostsunsets]

Just a very sad story. I hope you guys can fix this. Its as much his fault as hers. What the hell is wrong with you letting another man have your wife?

[WebEx]

Ya I should have never went along with that. For some reason for a moment I thought I was being a good husband, and that this would prevent her from having an affair later down the road. I really wasn't cool with it at all, I should have took better control of the situation. So your right, I take my part of the blame which helps.

[mark982]

web, only you two can decide what to do,people can bash all they want to. but as much as i hate cheaters, i gotta chaulk this to being "young and dumb" some mc couldn't hurt either. the odds are stacked up against you being so young, and i wish you both the best of luck.

[an hero]

For some reason my husband decided earlier to send me the link to this, after several hours of being made to feel bad via chat, about something that happened over 8 months ago. After reading all the replies, and several minutes of hyperventilating while contemplating what an awful person I am I have decided to put in my own two cents.

 

Needless to say many wounds still feel fresh for both of us. I'm thankful for the replies from folks who have some compassion and understanding, I am also both thankful and dismayed for the replies from those people who just believe me to be a worthless ho. It is easy to assume things like that about people when you don't know them personally and only know a small part of the story.

 

I have been in a relationship with my husband since I was 13 years old, except for the events that happened that one night, I have NEVER cheated on him, I never as much as kissed another person since I met him when I was 13. He is 4 years older than me, I moved in with him when I was 16, he was 19-20yrs old.

 

I found out I was pregnant 6 days after my 18th birthday. I got fat, and miserable, and after having my first baby I did have post partum, 3 months after having our 1st baby I find out Im pregnant with our 2nd child. Still feeling fat and unattractive. All the while Im finding porn links on our computer, and it only made me feel even worse about myself, and deepend my depression. When I try to tell my husband how much it hurts me, he only responds with anger towards me. And by the way I have been a stay at home mom since our first child was born, I spend all day cleaning, cooking, giving baths, changing diapers, and most of my free time is spent chatting online with my husband while he is at work.

 

He got a better job, we moved to another state, when our 2nd child was 2 weeks old. There was a period of time I didn't leave our house 1 time at all during a 3 month time span. So to all you who think I was out with friends, screwing other men, to that I say, well I have no friends, and no I never go out by myself, usually if I leave the house its with my husband and children, or just my children.

 

Anyway, there were alot of control issues going on, alot of feeling secluded after moving, total lack of a social life, and it's still that way.

 

I decided to take control of my life and change the things that made me unhappy, I worked out several times a day, went on a healthy diet, lost weight and toned up. I started getting my nails done, and tanning at a tanning salon, and these were the only few times I took time for myself, by myself, out of the house in what feels like several years.

 

I started feeling great about myself, like I had been accomplishing things, I spend SO MUCH of my life taking care of our kids, and I am so thankful to have them, and that resonsibility in my life. I felt as though I had been living in a shell for years, and wanted to break out, be carefree, try new things, and I put my family, my children at risk for it.

 

I love my husband more than anyone would ever know, I am very attached to him, I am 22yrs old at this time, he has been my world for 9 years, and I have a family with him.

 

Yeah I made a mistake, and you know what, the hurt I have caused the man I love, is almost unbearable to me, It's right up there with the feeling you would have if you accidently killed one of your children. These days I wander if I even deserve to be with him. Really anytime I have considered divorcing him in the recent past it's been because I feel unworthy of the good life and all the security I could have with him, as well as his love.

 

Really I don't know what else to say. I feel like a complete wreck, and really regret the mistakes I made. Being young and stupid is really no excuse for what happened. Honestly I just feel like a ****ty person alot. Guilt is constantly glooming over my daily life, somedays are worse, some days are better than others. I wish I could be happy for my childen's sake, I just feel like such a horrible person, Somedays I don't even feel like I deserve happiness, and I don't deserve my children or my husband because I could put my families security at risk for some cheap thrill.

 

Go ahead and hate me, I don't blame you, because I honestly hate myself, I have hated myself for 8 months. Sorry for any spelling errors, or any parts of this that don't make sense.

 

You left out the actual 3some. Why did you break all of those rules? I'm usually all for 2nd chances, but this is something else. I've been in your shoes in terms of feeling like that after cheating. I made out with a girl when I was drunk 2 years ago and there is no pain in the world comparable to doing that to girl you love. We are still together and in love. I guess I am a lot like you. I suffer from severe depression, and I always have.

 

That said, I felt physically ill when I read the details of what happened. I guess it really depends on your husband. I know that is something I would NEVER be able to get over.

[imagine]

I hope that you and your wife will grow into a maturer marriage. Open sex is never an answer it is a problem.

 

Please learn to find the emotional needs that your wife requires. Her precise needs - read the five languages of love(Chapman). Read marriage builders articles emotional needs list.

 

WebEX wife needs to find a private thread without interjections from her husband. No offense WebEX but it helps to keep the posts uncluttered. Let her refer to this thread.

[torranceshipman]

Don't ever beat yourself up about your reaction, or about giving her a hard time. Why? Because you had to sit there and watch some guy pound your W, and, in fact, engage in probably a bunch of other sexual acts with her. That is just disgusting - how any man could get that out of their mind I will never know.

 

Yes send her this thread! It's good for her to see how people generally perceive her actions, and how you seem to be so charitable in trying to understand her. For the record she doesn't deserve that kind of attitude from you, not IMO...she's lucky you are still talking to her.

[on1wheel]

Don't apologize about the length, as that story needed to be told in it's entirety. Your only mistake (as far as I'm concerned) was to give in to something you knew deep down you didn't want to do/see. Just a tip, but if you do a 3-some, you NEVER do it with 1 of your's or her friends...EVER. That is a recipe for failure, as you have to see this person again & will then imagine them F'ing your wife/GF. Not to mention that then you will always wonder "how many of my friends does she want to F anyway?". Then there is also the fear that whenever they will be alone together in the future you will wonder if they are having sex again. After all, there is no more line that shouldn't be crossed, if you know what I mean.

All men fantasize about watching/joining in with their wives/GF's BTW; to see them having sex with someone else. We are all voyeurs (sp???) deep down & it's just like watching porn, but with a woman we are involved with. The problem is that (for most of us) it should never go past the fantasy state.

This is because most men can't look or treat their woman the same after she has shown her inner SL*T...even if were our idea. Since this scenario was not your idea you freaked out. Now the gun went further than you ever should have gone & you came off as a Physco; regardless of whether you were going to use it or not. As for what you should do now, well that depends on whether the 2 of you can get past what you've seen in each other? You have seen that she is freakier than you're comfortable with & she has seen your dark/scary side. I fear that you have both passed an invisible line that will be difficult to cross back over. I think in the long run she has wild oats that she needs to sow; whether you're there or not.

I could be wrong, but I doubt it. I wish you luck whether you decide to stay or start anew with someone more like you. Cheers.

[mem11363]

Sounds like you are trying to make it work. Good for you. I know this is hard for you - but I would stop bringing it up. If she ever asks to do this again I would end it then - but for now I would give her a second chance.

 

 

 

To AAlikes question: No each of us had around 3 partners before eachother if you count just intercourse. There was lots of insecurity from both of us in the beginning when we really fell for eachother about eachothers past.

 

I really appreciate those who took time to actually give a descent response. Its nice to know that people out there could feel the same way as me..

 

Its been rough, we actually seperated for 3 days and I told her maybe we could reset things if we had a seperation period for about 3 months, but she just showed back up out of nowhere out of insecurity of me being with other women.

 

I'm really just floored, she has always been a very sweet girl that no one would have suspected capable of anything like this. I do agree that I helped make the decision, thats why I told her I wasnt upset about what I tried to condone, but I was upset about the agreement and betrayal along with it.

 

I've chalked her attitude up to a few different things, she had some traumatic things happen when she was very young that could have affected her sexual attitude once we became adults.. She also has a brother who is very well off and is very into swinging and he makes his life sound like its much superior to anyone else who is "close minded"

 

I can respect people like that if thats their choice, but I couldnt have a relationship like unless it was that way from day 1, then I could keep my self from gaining certain attachments to someone.

 

I'm giving it my best shot at this point.. I keep telling my self atleast it wasn't something behind my back completely.. I truely do not believe she is capable of that.. I'm actually more pissed at my used to be friend right now more so.. He took a bad decision and made it worse..

[seogorilla]

I was really glad to find this site, and I really need to hear from some other people badly to put things into perspective for me.

 

I have been married to my wife for 3 years, we've actually been together for 9 years since we were teenagers. We always had such an amazing unique thing. After getting married and having a couple of kids, I took a job offer in a bigger city and we moved. This caused lots of problems, while we were enjoying a house and job that was quite well for our age, we had no friend or family except for 2 hours away. My wife started behaving strangely, just doing stuff out of character.

 

When she quit breastfeeding, she worked hard to get in shape, and diet, and get hair and nails done, which was fine, but I noticed she was kind of getting a kick out of getting attention from other men. Then she dropped a bombshell on me, that she wanted to experiment around while we were young, and possibly do some threesomes with each of the opposite sex. This floored me because for years she was so insecure about me and other women, I could barely talk to them without her getting angry. I was a bit of the jealous type too. This really upset me, and she prodded at me with it like she would not be happy unless she could try somethings like that and be carefree for once. She seen how upset I was at this idea and said it wasn't really a good idea, she thought it might be a solution to whatever she was feeling..

 

A few months later a buddy of mine was going to come over and drink that I havent seen in forever. When he arrived and we started drinking mixed drinks, I noticed my wife being a bit flirty and making comments.. I was a bit buzzed but I could tell what was on her mind.. This was a pretty good friend of mine. I pulled my wife aside and talked to her, and tried to get her to tell me what was on her mind, and she basically said "If I tell you, you will get mad" and for whatever reason I eased her worries and said "I already know" Where I went from here was a horrible idea... I thought that if I allowed something to go on, just once, it would fix her since we had been together so young and so long. I told her we could try having a threesome with my friend, but the only way I would be comfortable with it, is if there was no kissing, no oral sex and condom at all times.. And if I made this sacrafice then she might as well set the same thing up for me to try. This was something that was just not us, and for a moment I guess I lost site of that..

 

With that said we went back and joined my friend, I brought up the idea and ofcourse he eagerly agreed.. I really thought I knew this guy, but I was wrong. The first thing that happened is she walked up to him and started making out with him.. that upset me but I tried to blow it off. We went into the bedroom and my friend kept argueing about wearing a condom.. He finally put one on, but I then noticed he had slipped it off when I wasn't looking when she started giving him oral sex. She even told me he had a condom on when he didnt at one point. After all three of my guidelines were broken, I flipped out majorly. I got dressed and stormed out and they both came out and said it maybe wasnt a good idea.

 

For whatever reason we all decided that this had the potential to be a screwed up situation if we didn't finish what we started in some way. So I reiterated my 3 guidelines and how important they were to me, and how I just wanted him to join in a for a short period then go away, so it would be done with. My wife and I went back to the bedroom and reinitiated, he came in, and joined in.. Except when he came back in, everything kind of went backwards, and before I knew I was excluded and standing there watching them go at it.. My wife is asking me whats wrong periodically while she is engaged in sex with him.. I thought to my self that maybe it would hurry up and end and be over with, but my friend kept doing things and taking them too far, he was purposly distracting her and ignoring me standing there obviously upset.. At this point I was very very pissed, so I reached in the closet and cocked my hand gun, at this point everyone jumped up and scrambled. I felt like a dumbass and threw the gun back in the closet, I only meant to get his attention..

 

He took off, then a while later my wife took off to her families with the intent on divorcing me. She eventually came back but kept making a big deal about this guy until I finally left. Then whatever switched inside her flipped and she begged me to come back and everything would be different.. I came back and everything was different for the most part.. She then started freaking out and crying and going to the Dr. to get STD test after I made her feel bad about it enough.. She wants us to be monogamous, she is very worried and insecure even more than ever about me doing something with another woman since she has done that.. We seem to be getting along better, she is not acting flirty, and she doesnt even want to be friends with the guy anymore..

 

My problem is, occassionally I get very upset thinking about what happened.. I make her feel bad about it, and then in turn she gets very upset. I really can't help the way I feel sometimes.. Half the time I love her very much and want to be with her always.. The other half of the time I feel ripped off, and I feel like a fool.

 

There it is folks, I spilled my guts in hopes you can really give me some insight. Maybe others who have went through something similiar, or maybe you want to rip into me and tell me how much of a bastard I am?? I need anything at this point, and I appreciate anyone who responds. Sorry about the long post.

 

Man that was a big mistake she was confused after the kid and had no idea if she was ever going to be hot again.

 

I know you were just tryin to make her happy but that could have wound up real bad like dead bad or prison bad.

 

Women are odd like that one minute they are cold as ice the next like a flame on fire I will as I go share more baout my life when I can here as soon as I feel comfortable .

 

Good luck brother all the best

[Lucky_One]

So - a girl who is only 22 and only kissed one man in her life suddenly is able to go and make out with a man in front of her husband, give him head, and have sex with him and actually ask her husband "what is wrong with you" while in the midst of banging - all with her kids in the next room?

 

Call me jaded, but I call BS on this story.

[an hero]

So - a girl who is only 22 and only kissed one man in her life suddenly is able to go and make out with a man in front of her husband, give him head, and have sex with him and actually ask her husband "what is wrong with you" while in the midst of banging - all with her kids in the next room?

 

Call me jaded, but I call BS on this story.

 

Are you calling the whole story BS?

[Lucky_One]

The whole story? Maybe. I call the post by the "wife" total BS, for sure.

 

Sorry, but some blushing naive young thing who just found a tanning bed isn't going to to just suck some guy in front of her husband, if she has never even kissed another guy before.

[an hero]

The whole story? Maybe. I call the post by the "wife" total BS, for sure.

 

Sorry, but some blushing naive young thing who just found a tanning bed isn't going to to just suck some guy in front of her husband, if she has never even kissed another guy before.

 

Yeah, when I saw that post I was suspicious. But then I asked myself, why the hell would somebody lie like that, here. I hope it is a lie, because it is a really ****ed up story.

[WebEx]

Well I don't think its over, we've been working hard to get past this. I guess the way she was acting I justified that I would rather sacrafice one thing rather than have her be unhappy. I thought maybe if I gave her a thrill like that it could really do her some good in some way. Where it crossed the line is what I was willing to let happen went too far, and turned into the difference between someone participating with us, to me not participating at all. The whole thing was shocking and bewildering that out of 2 people I really trusted, not one of them could take it easy and respect my wishes.

 

After alot of time has passed, and the fog of anger has cleared a little bit, I realize my friend was a tad manipulative. He was more sober than my wife and I, and while I was so pissed at my wife for not stopping when I wanted it too, he should have been more aware of the situation than either of us. I tried to put my self in his shoes, or any of my friends, and just so happens that would have been the only person to really behave like that and call themselves a friend.

 

We both know at this point we have a relationship where there won't be any room for extreme forgiveness in the future and we have both agreed that if anything disloyal happens in the future its instantly over. Ask any one of a hundred people we know and she would be the least likely to be unfaithful really, but anyone has the potential to be unfaithful when their intoxicated, and we have cut down the drinking quite a bit.

 

Thanks to all who gave input good or bad. I appreciate your views and advice.

[Javelin]

We both know at this point we have a relationship where there won't be any room for extreme forgiveness in the future and we have both agreed that if anything disloyal happens in the future its instantly over. Ask any one of a hundred people we know and she would be the least likely to be unfaithful really, but anyone has the potential to be unfaithful when their intoxicated, and we have cut down the drinking quite a bit.

 

Thanks to all who gave input good or bad. I appreciate your views and advice.

 

Why would you put yourself through all of this? Your relationship is nearly 100% unhealthy and at this point not worth it!

[an hero]

Why would you put yourself through all of this? Your relationship is nearly 100% unhealthy and at this point not worth it!

 

Now there, that's not you're call. Best of luck webex, I sincerely hope things work out for you.

 

Just a thought- maybe cut your so called "friend" out of your life for good. He seems like a complete ****, and he would only serve as a bad reminder.

[Javelin]

Now there, that's not you're call.

 

I respect his decision, but I cannot understand it or why.

 

In my opinion, anyone like her is not worth that type of pain, especially if she is capable of going through with her actions. Yeah, he allowed her to do it, but have some respect for yourself and relationship! Besides, there are other woman out there that wouldn't ever go through with anything like that! Hell, the thought wouldn't even cross their mind to begin with! Why stick with just her if there are so many other fish in the sea?

[floridapad]

Bottom line is she pushed and you said yes. If she is truly repentent and can let go of the situation you should hopefully be ok. Who knows. In a few years you may have a chuckle over it, but only if you can let it go.

[WebEx]

Friend is 100% cut out of my life, and I've told him all the reasons so. Plus even if he had respected my wishes more he would still be a reminder. Its funny because when my wife first brought up this whole idea like 2-3 months before it happened I told her exactly what would happen if something happened with one of my friends, and not purposely, but coincidentally all my predictions came true.

 

I would never be able to be friends with them again, and said friend would not see her as a friend the same way.

 

And whoever said the unhealthy relationship would not be worth it is right if it stays unhealthy for too long of a time. Its been 7 months now and I can still be furious as hell. Its just one of those things like the movie Butterfly Effect, so many variables.. Bottom line is, I would have never considered it, if it hadnt been made to be such a big deal.

 

One thing now I kind of laugh at my self about, and have learned a huge life lesson I will ALWAYS carry on, when I noticed my wife behaving differently and seeking attention, and brining up crazy ideas like this, I went into some weird phase where I was so scared of loosing her I about went nuts, gravelling to her, treating her as best as I could all the time, writing her poetry, buying her things, including a car.. In a way letting my self be putty in her hand, made it worse, had the opposite effect and I lost her anyway in some regards.

 

Even right after said event, she took off, what did I do? I call her in tears every 2 hours begging her to not leave.. She came back, I was on my knees begging her at one point.. The tides changed when she pushed me to the breaking point, pushed me out of the little bubble we had put our selves in for so long, to where I no longer cared.. The more I cared the more she was hurting me.. Then when I no longer cared, and was ready to move on and forget about her, all the sudden she wants to make this drastic change, and wants to be all in love with me again, and wants me to be so in love with her like I was when I felt like I was loosing her..

 

The lesson learned, and lesson I should have already knew, when dealing with Immature women, if they are not right, then don't show any care or concern about them, show them if they act like they don't want a relationship then you can go try out one of the many classy ladies that are out there who would be much less trouble and hurtful..

 

A mature woman who just a couple years previously married a guy, joined his family, he joined her family, had 2 beautiful daughters, got houses and cars bought for her, had a husband working hard on the fast track would not throw that guy in the garbage can over some stupid ****ing frat boy. Then go home to her parents in some podunk town and live on welfare and child support.. STUPID.. Can you sense my apprehensiveness?