How I Quit A Meth Addiction (my daughter handed me this and drove away)

[ahsumgurl909]

CAROUSEL

 

For years you’ve ridden on this carousel, it’s up and down,

I watch you spin in circles, always coming back to white, yeah your down!

A pipe’s all you need to feed your need, to go into the ground,

To disappear, to mute the fear, that’s screaming at you, screaming loud,

Found you on the street this time, dirt beneath your finger-nails,

You failed to see my heart was breaking, as you spoke of dope and jail,

Your clothes were dirty, hanging off your frame, now skinny as a rail,

The girl I knew now black and blue, a ghost of you, so white and pale,

 

Unveil the truth - you will find, the lies are intertwined with it,

I tell you that you’re beautiful, you say only see the ****...

You’ve done to other people, all the lies, the wrists you want to slit,

You’re giving up, you want to die, you see no way that you can quit...

I sit--you chain-smoke cigarettes--you can’t sit still--I take a breath,

I tell you that there’s more to life, you tell me that you dream of death,

The carousel spins day and night, the horses run on smoking meth,

I look into your eyes to find your spirit, but there’s nothing left

 

Spinning up, spinning down

Carousel, it whips around

Hit the pipe, drown the pain

Trample people on the ground

One more hit, no more cares

Horses run but go nowhere

Every day another loss

This carousel you can’t get off –

 

I take you down to Island St., the detox is a crazy place,

They tell you to roll up your sleeves, you can not look me in the face,

Your pick marks are red and scabby, a pipe burn in every place,

You hang your head, your face deep red, shoulders heavy with disgrace,

They tell me that I have to leave, I hug you quick and walk outside,

Night is dark, it fills my heart, and teardrops start to fill my eyes,

Don’t know what to do, or where to go so I just start to drive,

Thinking of the times I wondered? Were you dead? Were you alive?

 

I drive and think of all the things I see in you that you can’t see,

Looking for the answers, why you’ve gotten lost to such degree,

Five days you’re in detox, everyday you say you’re gonna’ leave,

Your body screams, the devil leans, in closer says you can’t be free –

Me, I just keep praying you’ll find a way to love yourself,

I start to research programs - they’ll steer you back to better health,

I take you to my house to sleep, clear the bottles from the shelf,

I hug you, say I love you, but I know you’re hearing something else…

 

The system sucks, we feel ****ed -- takes us days to find support,

We go to office after office, always get the same retort,

The waiting lists, the ass to kiss, the process it is never short --

Do you smoke it? Do you slam it? Do you cook it? Do you snort?

Question after question – I watch you struggle to push through,

My brain feels like its spinning, but you lean on me, I lean on you,

I wonder if we’re winning, if you’ll beat this, I don’t have a clue,

What tomorrow has in store, is there more that I can do?

 

Just when I’m about to give, I get a call and jump instead --

By some sort of miracle, the rehab says they have a bed!

Now it falls to you, and all the battles raging in your head,

Will you choose to fight for life? Or will drown in fear instead?

Pack your things in plastic bags, there isn’t much to get prepared,

You tell me that you want to walk, I know its cuz you’re ****ing scared,

Of what life is without the numbness, only do this cuz I care,

And I’m selfish, see my future, want you in it – want you there,

 

Now you’ve been there 30 days, you’re sober and you’re on your way,

I visit you and witness you, so glorious in every way –

I finally see the Mom I knew, was hiding underneath the pain,

I know you still have work to do, but I’m so proud of you today –

I see you working on your program, taking steps and being true,

I strive to tell you how much inspiration I have found in you,

Everyday, every angle, every circle, something new –

The carousel is slowing down, the horses’ colors changing too,

Life it spins in circles -- with people places rushing by,

We try to grab a hint of meaning, answers to the question why?

Why is there such pain and suffering leading up until we die?

Why is wisdom often hidden? Why do I just want to cry?

Life is moving always changing, I am trying to let go,

Now I sit with you at meetings, try to listen, try to grow,

Thank you for the taking and the giving, help, the songs of crows

Blessed be the gift of our love, as the carousel it slows…

 

Spinning up, spinning down

Carousel it’s slowing down

Grab the ring, voices sing

You have got the power now!

C’mon Mom, grab the reins

No more hiding, no more shame –

Done with spinning, done with loss

This carousel, we're getting off.

 

 

IF THIS INSPIRES ONE MOM DAD SISTER BROTHER UNCLE AUNT FRIEND OR FOE IT WILL HAVE SERVED ITS PURPOSE. GOD BLESS THE ADDICTS