Jump to content

trying to deal.


Recommended Posts

Yep. I've just been dumped by my girlfriend (ex now, i guess..) of almost 3 years. I was dumped because she doesn't know what she wants and that we "don't communicate." I feel like my heart has been put through a meatgrinder. She has been living with a friend of hers for about the past week. This is my last night in our apartment. It's all been so surreal, boxes of my stuff everywhere. I look forward to the prospect of having my own place but i don't feel any closure with Mary. I feel like she gave up on us too easily. I don't think that she's been messing around on me, as some of my less intelligent friends are quick to point out. I genuinely feel that she just needs some time to herself.

It's been weird though the few times I've seen her since the break. She only comes over to do her laundry. She rarely says anything. She's always tight-lipped and I can feel the animosity and the tension coming off her in waves. I want to talk to her but she's already said we more or less have nothing to discuss. I want to jump up and kiss her and tell her I love her but that would probably just make it worse. I don't know what I could have done to make her so spiteful towards me. I feel I'll always love her and I'm not even clooooose to being ready to move on.

Does anyone have any advice that they can deal me? Should I give up on her completely? I'll do my damndest not to call her but i can't stop caring. I never saw this happening. All I have are questions, nagging questions. I don't know why she can't just give me closure.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Reading your post was one of the reasons I started a thread on 'closure' and what is there really to be accomplished by it? What could she possibly say which would change the end result or make you feel better?

 

It's so hard to accept the end of a relationship. It makes you want to stand on the top of a mountain and scream "WHY??????". However, you already know why. She said she didn't know what she wanted. I've found that's a nice way of someone saying "I don't know what I want...but I do know I don't want you at this time.".

 

All you can do is respect her wishes and get on with the moving on....and moving out (as per your apartment situation).

 

Feeling alone and 'dumped' is a horrible feeling. It seems to hi-light every issue of self esteem and insecurity you have. The one person you need to make you feel better.....is the one person who inflicted the pain.

 

However, you can't make someone love you or be with you. They are also not responsible for the feelings you are left with. It becomes each person's responsibility to pull themselves together and get on with their life. Only time will make this a faded memory.

 

Good Luck Charlie......and keep posting.

 

Arabess

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...