OW Getting Jipped

[SelenaK]

Ah, gotcha. That makes more sense.

 

 

I am new to posting. Sorry if I was not clear.

[donnamaybe]

A house? *insert shocked face here*

 

maybe I have gone about this all wrong, feeling like crap for love?

 

Perhaps I should rethink this and feel like crap for a house......

 

Or for NOT a house maybe?

[2sure]

Here is something from my RL that happened a couple weeks ago regarding my H's infidelity. As most here know, it was not OW specific, there were quite a few , they didnt know his real name..all that.

 

I emailed all of them, and ended up actually speaking with one that was a single mother, had thought he was a nice guy, etc. She lived very differently than I do and I was saddened for her and embarrassed for him that she was impressed when he took her to some chain for dinner. I mean, jeez.

 

She offered to give me copies of a bunch of emails I didnt have, so I met her to pick them up. At her home. Suffice it to say, I just felt so bad for her when I saw how she lived with her kids. I was insane at the time, riding the BS crazy train...and I GAVE HER MY F'G ENGAGEMENT RING.

 

Oh, yes. I regret it immensely. I was nuts. I cant help but think that at the time I was in a way relating to my idea that OW should get more than words. Of course, I realize now - thats not a job I needed to take on for the woman screwing my H.

 

Ah, growth.

[donnamaybe]

Donna

 

Are you an OW?

 

I wonder why you think it is so strange that a man would want to do nice things for a woman he cares about?

 

I also wonder why you think a woman would have to be destitute to accept nice gifts from someone she is involved with?

 

Has no one ever given you a valuable gift?

 

Not being snotty, just really curious.

 

Not an OW, but have been propositioned in the past. I just can't see myself maintaining any self respect if I put myself in that position.

 

Yes, I've received valuable gifts - from my ex-husband and current boyfriend. We have given each other gifts. They weren't gifts for services rendered. I think 2sure touched on that when she advised you that "THIS IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP. THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE. THIS IS NOT HOW NORMAL PEOPLE FUNCTION."

 

I'm not knocking you, just saying it would never be my cup o' tea.

[donnamaybe]

I GAVE HER MY F'G ENGAGEMENT RING.

 

Oh, yes. I regret it immensely. I was nuts. I cant help but think that at the time I was in a way relating to my idea that OW should get more than words. Of course, I realize now - thats not a job I needed to take on for the woman screwing my H.

 

Ah, growth.

 

Ah, hon. That just shows your tender, compassionate side.

 

Your H didn't deserve you.

[2sure]

[QUOTE=donnamaybe;2400343]Ah, hon. That just shows your tender, compassionate side.

 

Nice of you to think so, but really I was just out of mind. If I thought there was any chance I could get it back from the tramp I'd gnaw it off her finger with my teeth. But there's not - I'm sure she sold it ASAP.

 

Your H didn't deserve you.

Or does he?? LOL

[donnamaybe]

If I thought there was any chance I could get it back from the tramp I'd gnaw it off her finger with my teeth.

 

LMFAO!!! GAWD, I would LOVE to have drinks with you some time!!!

 

But, see how you call HER a tramp - the OW?

[SelenaK]

Not an OW, but have been propositioned in the past. I just can't see myself maintaining any self respect if I put myself in that position.

 

Yes, I've received valuable gifts - from my ex-husband and current boyfriend. We have given each other gifts. They weren't gifts for services rendered. I think 2sure touched on that when she advised you that "THIS IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP. THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE. THIS IS NOT HOW NORMAL PEOPLE FUNCTION."

 

I'm not knocking you, just saying it would never be my cup o' tea.

 

 

Fair enough

 

My self respect is fine though. To me payment for services rendered says that recieving a gift means you have to provide a service. I say no when I want to. I have never had sex with any man just to get a material good. I have sex with a MM who has provided me with nice things because that is what he wants to do.

 

 

Again. I am not pining for him to leave his wife. If he goes NC tomorrow I will still have had a great time. I am not building my future happiness around him.

[SelenaK]

Here is something from my RL that happened a couple weeks ago regarding my H's infidelity. As most here know, it was not OW specific, there were quite a few , they didnt know his real name..all that.

 

I emailed all of them, and ended up actually speaking with one that was a single mother, had thought he was a nice guy, etc. She lived very differently than I do and I was saddened for her and embarrassed for him that she was impressed when he took her to some chain for dinner. I mean, jeez.

 

She offered to give me copies of a bunch of emails I didnt have, so I met her to pick them up. At her home. Suffice it to say, I just felt so bad for her when I saw how she lived with her kids. I was insane at the time, riding the BS crazy train...and I GAVE HER MY F'G ENGAGEMENT RING.

 

Oh, yes. I regret it immensely. I was nuts. I cant help but think that at the time I was in a way relating to my idea that OW should get more than words. Of course, I realize now - thats not a job I needed to take on for the woman screwing my H.

 

Ah, growth.

 

 

If your cheating H wants you back. Tell him what you did and make him buy you another ring.

[donnamaybe]

I am not building my future happiness around him.

 

And THIS is what maddens me about so many AP on this site! They get hooked in by a cheater who tells pretty lies, and they believe every one, and some of them waste year after year after year hanging onto some false hope.

 

Very sad. It's good that you're not doing that to yourself.

[Adunaphel]

While catching up with this thread I realized that the real main reason why I felt so unconfortable MM spending money on me or for me (even quite small amounts) is that allowing him to do so felt much more like "stealing" from his W than the A itself did.

I guess that I'd have probably felt fine if he had been richer and they had separate bank accounts...

[NoIDidn't]

I wonder why you think it is so strange that a man would want to do nice things for a woman he cares about?

 

 

The amount of times that I was propositioned by wealthy men offering me fancy cars and condos for "access" to me when it suited them makes me think that this set up is less about caring and more about controlling.

 

I do realize that not all are propositioned in this way by complete strangers though.

 

Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if I had accepted one of the offers. Some offers were made by a very famous entertainers (one recently auditted by the IRS and owes millions in back taxes, LOL) for when they were in the area to have a place to call "home".

 

I've also had a recent offer (following my H's EA with his co-worker) from one of his company's higher ups. I guess he felt I was vulnerable enough to accept his offer of money, convenience, and *things* to make me feel better about what he'd heard through the company "grapevine". It angered me to find out that he offered "her" the same thing.

 

I can't help but to see this as manipulation and control, and not caring. These guys get you hooked on needing their financial assistance, and before you know it, you are stuck depending on them unless you want to go without until on your feet by yourself.