What should I do??

[Daisy]

My bofriend and I have been going out for almost a year.

 

When I first met him I knew he was baptist and he knew I was catholic. It didn't bother me then and now it has been bothering me. He was catholic all his life until about three years ago he became baptist. I love him so much I want to marry him and start a family with him. I know in the long run its going to cause problems. I don't want to change religion. I don't think he wants to change his. His mom, dad, brother, and almost all his family in california are catholic. His family that he has here are all baptist. I don't know what to do or how I should tell him how I feel??

[Princess]

Dear Daisy,

 

You know what? I know a family who has a Jewish mom and a Catholic Dad and they are both very religious. Their children celebrate both religious holidays (Wow! Christmas and Hannuka!!) and I know a lady who turned Mormon after marrying a man who celebrated church of latter day saints, and she was an atheist. She still believes in evolution, but she goes to church with him every sunday. What I'm trying to say is that if you both are very religious, then celebrate both beliefs. Ask him how he feels about the differences in religion between both of you and see how he would like everything to work and tell him how you feel.

 

Good Luck,

 

Princess

[Miranda]

I'm Catholic. My Mom is Catholic, and Dad was Methodist.

 

If you are planning on marrying each other, that would be the only time to bring it up. Otherwise, it's a moot point.

 

As long as he is not anti-Catholic and you are both respectful of each other's beliefs...what may seem like a tense conversation could go well and turn into a compromise.

 

The fact that he was raised Catholic and is now Protestant might mean that his immediate family might have certain negative notions about the Church.

 

Fact is, if you DO plan to marry, this is a good lesson for both of you on tolerance.

 

Good luck.

[Marcella]

Tough issue. You say you've been dating a year. Are you discussing marriage yet? If so, you ABSOLUTELY need to discuss your concerns with him. Such things that you both need to ponder and discuss are: How do you feel about each other's religion? Are you willing to participate in the other religion? Are there ways you can think of to incorporate both religions into your spiritual life? Most importantly, what are your thoughts as far as religion and children? Being a Catholic myself, I'm not terribly familiar with the Baptist religion, but with them both being Christian denominations, I'm sure there is plenty of common ground. Many couples with even more significant religious differences are able to make it work. I think respect for each other's differences is what's key.

 

Also, regarding the children issue. I know there are plenty of children with parents of different religions. (Refer to above post by Princess). However, just celebrating both Christmas and Hanukkah is not a solution. I truly believe that in order to provide a child with a religious foundation, they need to be raised a certain religion. That does not imply they can't participate in services of another religion or learn about them. But until the day when they are able to make their own choice, they need to be Catholic or Baptist or Jewish or whatever. You need to talk to your man about his feelings regarding this issue.

 

And you also need to do some soul searching. It sounds as if you're a spiritual person. Pray about it, whatever. Is it acceptable to YOU to spend your life with someone with these religious differences? I think you're wise for identifying it as a potential problem. The only way you'll know for sure as to the extent of the problem is to discuss these issues with your man. Best of luck to you. God Bless.

My bofriend and I have been going out for almost a year. When I first met him I knew he was baptist and he knew I was catholic. It didn't bother me then and now it has been bothering me. He was catholic all his life until about three years ago he became baptist. I love him so much I want to marry him and start a family with him. I know in the long run its going to cause problems. I don't want to change religion. I don't think he wants to change his. His mom, dad, brother, and almost all his family in california are catholic. His family that he has here are all baptist. I don't know what to do or how I should tell him how I feel??

[Tony T]

I thought all this religious stuff was from the past. As a society, I think we have gotten past relgious issues in relationships. People who love each other are able to work them out pretty easily...unless they are from extremely different countries and cultures.

 

When I was younger, the Pope at the time, John the twenty something-eth, said Catholics were the only ones that could enter heaven. The current Pope seems to have softened up on that. Now, if you like to dance, the Baptists are sort of down on that. But Catholics can dance the night away.

 

I think most Catholic Churches are nicer inside and I love the smell of the incense. But the sermons, they call them something like Homilies (always reminds me of grits), are mostly boring. Baptist sermons get pretty heated and interesting.

 

You can drink inside the Catholic Church during Communion but the Baptists don't go for drinking much. Their Communion usually uses grape juice. When I was little I thought that was because grape juice was cheaper but now I see it's the Alchohol thing. I really don't think Jesus had grape juice or cool aid available but I think he would have probably opted for that.

 

When I was little, Catholics who ate meat on Friday's instead of fish or just veggies were condemned to hell...or at least a bit of time in pergatory. You could get that all forgiven and get the pergatory lifted but if you ate meat over and over on Fridays out of forgetfullness, the priest figured you weren't really sorry and you got the book thrown at you.

 

It's always been OK for Baptists to eat whatever they wanted anytime, although the hardliners don't go for pork on any day because somewhere in the bible it's delcared as unclean.

 

The Baptists also don't disucss hell a whole lot. They never really say where you'll go if you dance and drink but I think you just go to jail if you drink too much.

 

The big Catholic thing when I was little was SEX. I mean the nuns taught the kids in Catholic school that if you even had a slight sexual thought...eeeewwwwwwww. But now it seems there are a few priests who go for little guys and the Church pays the legal bills. There are a lot of gay priests because straight men want to have sex and the Pope doesn't want priests to do that. I think if Catholic clergymen could have sex, the Pope would really be popular among the ladies.

 

My vote is to talk all of this out. Believe what you want to believe. Teach your children good values and then let them believe what they want to believe, drink what they want to drink, eat what they want to eat, think about sex whenever they want to, hopefully be heterosexual but it's OK if they aren't.

 

I really don't think Catholics are the only ones in heaven or pergatory. But I really do feel sorry for all the ones who were condemned to do time in the fire before the Pope eased up on his stance. But maybe if you change from Catholic to Baptist, you can get yourself out of the mess. That's probably what your boyfriend did and it was a pretty good strategy.

 

Life just isn't fair. But love will find a way!!!

[bily the kid]

hey tony it's really like the posts you read here,, some Priests just can not write or read great so does that mean none of them can??? you can't just go once or twice adn listen two one or two to base your judgement... If that is what I did I might not think to highly of your posts but because i read more that one I give you credit for being pretty good.... remember MASTER T we are not always perfect..

I thought all this religious stuff was from the past. As a society, I think we have gotten past relgious issues in relationships. People who love each other are able to work them out pretty easily...unless they are from extremely different countries and cultures. When I was younger, the Pope at the time, John the twenty something-eth, said Catholics were the only ones that could enter heaven. The current Pope seems to have softened up on that. Now, if you like to dance, the Baptists are sort of down on that. But Catholics can dance the night away. I think most Catholic Churches are nicer inside and I love the smell of the incense. But the sermons, they call them something like Homilies (always reminds me of grits), are mostly boring. Baptist sermons get pretty heated and interesting.

 

You can drink inside the Catholic Church during Communion but the Baptists don't go for drinking much. Their Communion usually uses grape juice. When I was little I thought that was because grape juice was cheaper but now I see it's the Alchohol thing. I really don't think Jesus had grape juice or cool aid available but I think he would have probably opted for that. When I was little, Catholics who ate meat on Friday's instead of fish or just veggies were condemned to hell...or at least a bit of time in pergatory. You could get that all forgiven and get the pergatory lifted but if you ate meat over and over on Fridays out of forgetfullness, the priest figured you weren't really sorry and you got the book thrown at you. It's always been OK for Baptists to eat whatever they wanted anytime, although the hardliners don't go for pork on any day because somewhere in the bible it's delcared as unclean. The Baptists also don't disucss hell a whole lot. They never really say where you'll go if you dance and drink but I think you just go to jail if you drink too much. The big Catholic thing when I was little was SEX. I mean the nuns taught the kids in Catholic school that if you even had a slight sexual thought...eeeewwwwwwww. But now it seems there are a few priests who go for little guys and the Church pays the legal bills. There are a lot of gay priests because straight men want to have sex and the Pope doesn't want priests to do that. I think if Catholic clergymen could have sex, the Pope would really be popular among the ladies. My vote is to talk all of this out. Believe what you want to believe. Teach your children good values and then let them believe what they want to believe, drink what they want to drink, eat what they want to eat, think about sex whenever they want to, hopefully be heterosexual but it's OK if they aren't. I really don't think Catholics are the only ones in heaven or pergatory. But I really do feel sorry for all the ones who were condemned to do time in the fire before the Pope eased up on his stance. But maybe if you change from Catholic to Baptist, you can get yourself out of the mess. That's probably what your boyfriend did and it was a pretty good strategy. Life just isn't fair. But love will find a way!!!

[Tony T]

I really didn't understand your post. If you're upset about me mentioning gay priests pestering young boys, read again. I said "SOME" priests and that's and absolute fact that I can back up.

 

I made absolutely no judgements in my post. Every sentence was either a fact or an observation of fact made by me in my perspective. The only judgements I make in this forum, or anywhere actually, are the ones I am asked to make...and then I make them passionately and give substantial sound reason for them. Even then, I do not expect all to agree.

 

Everything in my post is a fact that I can back up with verifiable and reliable sources.

 

However, you are still entitled to feel whatever you do.

 

I also want to mention that I do not post here because I am looking for fans or for people to "like", agree, or go along with what I write. In the United States, we have freedoms of expression that many other lands don't have. The Internet has actually extended that freedom to some lands that wouldn't have them otherwise.

 

People are free to read or not read what I have to say, agree with it, or disagree. I learn a great deal when people disagree and let me know why with valid reasons. I don't learn anything at all when they agree. So it is actually to the advantage of my growing and learning process if people challenge what I say.

 

But I will never intentionally put false information in a post or indict an entire group of people, in this case, priests, if it is uncalled for. Again, I said "some" priests...and that is a verifiable fact. I will take this opportunity to say there are many, many honorable, dedicated, and caring members of not only the Catholic clergy but others as well. One example of a great priest is Father Stokes, who ministered to my cancer-striken and dying father in 1987.

 

I want you to be very much aware that the higher-ups in the Catholic Church are extremely troubled by the increasing incidents of Priests involved in homosexual behavior with both young people and those their age. They are also very concerned that the numbers of young men willing to make the required sacrifices to become a priest are dwindling rapidly.

 

All this was a tangent. The post I was responding to regarded a couple who had some religious differences. I think love is very difficult without putting religion into it but for some, religion is a very important element of life. The point I was making was that if two people really do care about each other, they can overlook some minor differing views on spirituality and respect those differences. There are a variety of ways to do that which they can explore.

 

But I'm glad you got something out of my post, regardless.