Girlfriend lied to me... multiple times!

[clean_slate]

Hey everyone,

 

I posted on here over a year ago about an issue with my girlfriend (emotional affair). That situation was resolved; we broke up for a while and then got back together. It's been about a year since we reconciled and things have been great between us.

 

My girlfriend calls me almost every night when she gets out of work (if I'm not also working at the same time), so I've come to expect it. The other night I received no call. I waited an hour to call but got no answer, so I sent a text. I *think* she hit the ignore when I called, but I could be wrong. The call went to voicemail at 14 or 15 seconds which is kinda odd. Anyway, I called again an hour later and again received her voicemail. I sent a text sometime after 10pm to say good night, and I went to sleep. Around 11:30 a received a text from her saying good night which woke me up, so I gave her a call. Basically, she apologized for missing my calls and claimed she was at home away from her phone the whole time. She also said- very specifically- that she gave a coworker a ride home, dropped him off and went straight to her house. Fair enough. I went to sleep believing this.

 

Yesterday, a friend (who works with my girlfriend) told me that the guy my girlfriend drove home was bragging before he left work that she was coming over to his place and he was going to "wreck that ass." So, I told my girlfriend I had some disturbing news about that night and she asked if I was alright, etc. I told her I was pissed at this guy for talking ****, and she replied, "what, about Beatles rock band?" So now I know that something is up. I pried a little and she said she only stayed for a short while to try the game out. Well, after further discussion, she admitted she played "five or six songs" and went home. While I was talking with her, she got a text (from this same guy) which she answered. She didn't try to hide it or anything, which I suppose it good. I think he was asking her if she was busy today, but I tried not to look. Her phone shows previous texts on the screen, and I easily saw something about 11:15. So I asked about it. Turns out she didn't get home until after 11pm. So, she was at this guy's house for two and a half to three hours. An ever changing story.

 

I made it clear that lying is a big no-no. I'd rather hear the truth, no matter how hurtful, than be given the run around. And I emphasized the fact that I've worked hard to build my trust in her again, and now it comes crashing down onto my head. She says that it was a spur of the moment decision to go play the game with this guy. She also says that she was worried I'd be mad if she told me the truth. Well, yeah. I'd be a bit ticked. I know this guy and he's an *******. I don't like him, and I resent certain things he's done in the past. But that's not a reason to lie.

 

So, the verdict is out. I honestly can't imagine she had sex with him or did anything of that sort. But the doubt has been planted in my mind. What's your take?

[phineas]

She went to another mans place & lied to you about it.

 

She only admits to something when you can prove it.

 

sounds like my lieing cheating soon to be ex-wife.

 

That's my take.

[Thaddeus]

She's just another liar.

 

Dump her lying a$$. This will only get worse.

[Dexter Morgan]

clean_slate.....uh.....sorry to say, but she isn't just lying on you. She cheated. If she keeps company with a guy that says he is gonna "wreck that ass", and she stays, then he did "wreck that ass".

 

I think its time for you to consider telling your so-called girlfriend to take a sh#t and fall back in it.

[clean_slate]

clean_slate.....uh.....sorry to say, but she isn't just lying on you. She cheated. If she keeps company with a guy that says he is gonna "wreck that ass", and she stays, then he did "wreck that ass".

 

I think its time for you to consider telling your so-called girlfriend to take a sh#t and fall back in it.

 

He has a history of talking when he can't back it up. It's just his personality.

[deux ex machina]

You are concentrating on the other man in the picture. Unwise.

 

Take the pedestal out from under her.

 

You're being played.

[SoulStorm]

If things were so innocent..why didn't she answer the phone til after 11. You can pause a game. Just doesn't sound right to me. And if she knew you would have a problem with it, why did she go anyway.

 

Not trustworthy material if you ask me. Only if you ask me though.

 

Basically, she apologized for missing my calls and claimed she was at home away from her phone the whole time. She also said- very specifically- that she gave a coworker a ride home, dropped him off and went straight to her house.

 

Lie

 

I pried a little and she said she only stayed for a short while to try the game out. Well, after further discussion, she admitted she played "five or six songs" and went home

 

Trickle truth..only disclosing what you know. Still lying

 

While I was talking with her, she got a text (from this same guy) which she answered. She didn't try to hide it or anything, which I suppose it good. I think he was asking her if she was busy today, but I tried not to look. Her phone shows previous texts on the screen, and I easily saw something about 11:15. So I asked about it. Turns out she didn't get home until after 11pm. So, she was at this guy's house for two and a half to three hours.

 

Blatant disrespect and playing you like a Russian fiddle. Good strategy to answer in the open..looks innocent.

 

Don't be fooled..she is cake eating

[Bryanp]

I am sorry my friend but you are in big time denial. She continues to lie to you about that evening. If the roles were reversed do you honestly believe that she would accept such crap from you? Why does she continue to lie to you about this? If she clearly lied to you about this then what didn't she lie to you about? People who have nothing to hide tell the truth. I guess she went over to his apartment and played music for hours and talked about politics. There is nobody who is as blind as someone who refuses to see. What is the point of having a girlfriend who acts like she does not have a boyfriend? You judge a person by their actions and not by their words and her actions speaks volumes. She is clearly playing you.

[Dexter Morgan]

He has a history of talking when he can't back it up. It's just his personality.

 

if you want to lure yourself into a false sense of security, be my guest.

 

fact is, a guy wants her, she hangs out with him alone, she knows he wants her.....nuff said.

[lkjh]

doesnt sound good and I doubt that she has been honest since her first EA.

It's time you man up

[stace79]

A girl's take: If I am totally into my bf, and I did choose to go to another guy's house, I would most certainly answer the phone if my bf called. In fact, I'd probably call him myself to tell him that I wanted to try out this new video game, and then maybe ask if bf can come, too.

 

And on top of those things, I don't typically think it appropriate to hang out alone at a random guy's house. I have maybe one guy friend I can think of (who has passed away sadly) that I would ever find it appropriate to be alone at his house if I was in a relationship with someone else.

 

I think the other posters are right -- she is at minimum jerking you around with lies, if not cheating. Sorry.

[bhweller]

I will just chime in because you need to hear some horrible truth so that you can learn now and save yourself some pain later.

 

This girl doesn't really like you, but you are a convenience for her, so she hasn't dumped you yet. She will dump you( if you stick around long enough), but not until she finds another sucker.

 

Answering the text message from that guy right in front of you is all you really need to know, don't obsess about whether she screwed the guy or not ( although I would bet $100 that she did). When a girl/woman does something like that, she is sending you a message. That message is not good. She is saying that she cares more about keeping up communication with that guy than she cares about you. I'm sorry, but its true. She is not just cheating on you, she doesn't really like you and she is going to dump you when it is convenient for her, unless you dump her first.

 

your so called girlfriend and that guy are perfect for each other because they are both scumbags. just never talk to either one of them again starting tommorrow.

[UrKillinMeSmalls]

Bro, she's treating you like absolute ****. Dump the slut. Girls like that are a dime a dozen. She is not a quality girl, no matter what your infatuation with her would lead you to believe. Trust me when I say that the only way your going to drive your point home through her thick head is to dump her ass and be as indifferent as humanly possible with her. Next time you see her face to face, say: "We are obviously done and you're a complete waste of my time. I want anything you have that is mine returned to me and then I want you to lose my number."

 

The only way girls like this respond to anything, and the only way she will ever respect you is if you become a complete jerk and tell her to **** off. Do not try to explain anything as to why you're over with, and don't let her try to explain anything. Just end it clean as if you don't give a **** about her at all. Anything less and she will CONTINUE to think your a pussy.

 

Once this is done I GUARANTEE you she will be 'with' that guy within a few days. Who else is she going to run to? Furthermore, she WILL use her thing with this guy to try and make you jealous, even though she probably has zero desire to get back with you, even at this point. Do not let any of this get to you, at all. Trust me when I say she is done with you. Bite her ass first and be on your way. I've dealt with these kinds of girls before and the only way to get through to them is to become a jerk, they're attracted to jerks. But your not doing this to make her attracted to you, your doing this to cut her out of your life like you would a cancer. If she lies to you about something as innocent as guitar hero (even though you know she wasn't playing video games, she was getting her ass 'wrecked' instead), you can bet your penis that she would lie to you about something bigger than that. She's done.

 

Do this, and I promise you, you will see results, you will see respect. Do it not, and she will continue to lie to you, treat you like ****, and look at you as a pussy. GUARANTEED.

 

Don't believe me? Don't follow my advice, and keep trying to 'work on things' with her like the nice boyfriend you are. You will get ****ed up in the end.

 

This is realistic advice from someone with experience in the same ****. Take it.

[tryagaintoday]

clean_slate, I remember you posting in my thread as well. You provided very good insights so I think you're ok now.

 

I just wanted to say that I agreed with UrKillinMeSmalls and bhweller.

 

I think we're in quite a similiar situation. But just look at me as an example. I tried putting it off for 3 months, so in the end? Dump and dusted even after 13 years together.

 

But whatever you decide to do, I wish you happiness.