Texting him sweet things at work?

[akina4777]

My boyfriend works first shift. He always texts me on his 15 minute break and we talk for a little bit until he has to go back to work.

 

Sometimes I'll text him about an hour before he gets off of work and tell him I miss him. I usually don't get a response, and he tells me that he was trying to finish his work so he could go home. That's understandable.

 

Well, today he texted me at 10AM on his break. He asked me what I was doing, I told him "not much" and asked how he was and how work was. He responded. I told him I missed him, and he didn't say anything.

 

I sent him another text with ":/". He sent something back 9 minutes later that said "i'm sorry babes". That made me feel awkward. I sent him something back that said "lol i guess the feeling isn't mutual" to which he replied "..sorry. am in a meeting. i miss you too"

 

I'm already trying to work on my insecurities, and for him to just say "i'm sorry" to me missing him doesn't really help when I'm trying to make him feel special and wanted. He NEVER responds when I tell him I miss him, and when I ask him about it he says he was busy, but he could text me just fine beforehand?

 

This is just sort of a rant... I feel kind of upset right now.

[Thaddeus]

If he's in meetings, it's no surprise that he doesn't respond.

 

When I chair meetings, I make it clear that texting/yakking on the cellphone during the meeting is unacceptable. (That said, the meetings I hold are usually very short - less than 30 minutes.) I did this during one meeting I chaired just yesterday and nobody had a problem with it.

 

So I wouldn't worry about it. He's a busy guy, he's obviously smitten with you, but he just can't be texting you during meetings.

[akina4777]

If he's in meetings, it's no surprise that he doesn't respond.

 

When I chair meetings, I make it clear that texting/yakking on the cellphone during the meeting is unacceptable. (That said, the meetings I hold are usually very short - less than 30 minutes.) I did this during one meeting I chaired just yesterday and nobody had a problem with it.

 

So I wouldn't worry about it. He's a busy guy, he's obviously smitten with you, but he just can't be texting you during meetings.

 

I understand that, but it sounds kind of odd that he was able to text me before, but as soon as I told him I missed him he was in a meeting.

[Ronni_W]

Akina,

I get that insecurity issues can really wreak havoc in one's mind. But it is that you're contributing to your own problems by not trying to "work on" them with your therapist AND ALSO by expecting your b/f to "help" you do your own self-improvement at times that are inconvenient to him / when it is impossible for him to properly respond or support you in your personal endeavours.

 

If you are concerned that he doesn't respond (how you want him to) when you say, "I miss you", then that is a serious, in-person conversation that you two need to have when you BOTH have the time and mind for it.

 

It is wonderful that you want to make him feel "special and wanted" -- but what can use a bit of tweaking is your timing and methods, yes?

[e.clipse]

My boyfriend works first shift. He always texts me on his 15 minute break and we talk for a little bit until he has to go back to work.

 

Sometimes I'll text him about an hour before he gets off of work and tell him I miss him. I usually don't get a response, and he tells me that he was trying to finish his work so he could go home. That's understandable.

 

Well, today he texted me at 10AM on his break. He asked me what I was doing, I told him "not much" and asked how he was and how work was. He responded. I told him I missed him, and he didn't say anything.

 

I sent him another text with ":/". He sent something back 9 minutes later that said "i'm sorry babes". That made me feel awkward. I sent him something back that said "lol i guess the feeling isn't mutual" to which he replied "..sorry. am in a meeting. i miss you too"

 

I'm already trying to work on my insecurities, and for him to just say "i'm sorry" to me missing him doesn't really help when I'm trying to make him feel special and wanted. He NEVER responds when I tell him I miss him, and when I ask him about it he says he was busy, but he could text me just fine beforehand?

 

This is just sort of a rant... I feel kind of upset right now.

 

Akina, do you know everything that happens while at work? i don't mean this in a bad way, but if he works in an office, it is very easy for someone to suddenly get swamped with work. i say this to you because there are moments when i can freely write back to texts sent (or be on LS. ahem), because i really don't have much work, but then the next minute, i suddenly have to do this and that, and can't get back to texts until much later, if at all during the rest of the work day.

 

it's possible that similar things happen to him while at his job, so don't be obsessive, as that will only create things where there might very well not be any.

 

i know that couple have their own little rituals, and texting during the work day might be one of them for you two, so if he has time to send you a quick text with whatever, just let it be. don't take a text and try to analyze how long it took him to write back or why he didn't put smilies or whatever--what is the point?

 

these things are all just "cutesy" things, really. i know they are great to have and that they bring your intimacy to another level, but it's a mistake to work yourself up over things that have no negative meanings or that may mean nothing at all.

 

if you still feel stressed, ask him straight out if he can text during work. if he says yes, text him then, if you can too, and anything else that comes along is an extra.

 

just, really, don't get hung up on things like these. they do all harm and no good.

[davo1224]

I miss busy texts. Just getting a message throughout the day was nice even if it was about b/s.

[BentSpine]

I told him I missed him, and he didn't say anything.

Was the reason you told him so that he could instantly parrot the same line back to you, giving you an ego boost?

The receiver can tell when you give with expectation and feel manipulated into acting/saying something.

 

No, I want to believe you told him you missed him as a gift to him. It stops becoming a gift when you expect something back.

 

Besides, actions still speaks louder than words.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

Don't put so much merit into texting its like the fly **** of the communication world ever think he missed the text?

 

Ive sent out text wondering why I didn't get a response only to see it didn't go thu all the way if you want to make him feel special ring him instead..