TeacupMovinON Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I miss snuggling, hugging, random kisses. It's really not about sex but it's the rest that I am struggling with. I have been alone for 9 months now. I just need some male affection from someone who genuinely cares for me. Can anyone relate? Is there anything I can do? Feeling so needy... Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I'm there with you. I've been going on 14 months and there was no way in the world I EVER thought I would be alone and single at 45 years of age. And for the past 25 years, even when the relationships were having problems, there was still a level of cuddling and affection and waking up next to a warm body. I still don't like sleep alone. I can tell you what not to do, which is what I have done (and you can peruse old threads of mine to affirm this): Don't go out for one-night stands. I've had a series of one-off hook-ups just to have someone touch me or kiss me. And it doesn't work because I ultimately felt more lonely and wanting of affection after the hook-up... I wish I would say the feeling of loss goes away because I still ache for it. I've been told it gets easier, but I'm still waiting... But maybe take solace in the fact that you are not alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Taucher Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Hello, I can definitely relate to this and, like you, it is the romantic cuddly stuff I miss more than the sex. I miss waking up next to her and all the cosy bits. I am not sure I miss those things in themselves though, I just miss having them with her. It would be weird with someone else I think. Take care. T Link to post Share on other sites
brock9911 Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I dont know how long you were in a realtionship, but i was in 1 for 8 years, almost 5 living together, so i can deffinitly relate to the lonely feeling. not having that person next to you when you sleep, ect. im not gonna get all corny but i understand. i havent been broken up as long, but it does seem time makes that not hurt as bad, but it still sux none the less. i wish there was a way to make that better, but just do your thing, and it will all pan out in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
BeSteady Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I miss snuggling, hugging, random kisses. Sex is great but I always felt it is those other things that helps the feeling of being connected. My favorite was waking up in the middle of the cold night and being all twisted together like a pretzel. The EX turn out to be a serial cheater which sucks because now I wonder if I had to much respect for those smaller intimacies. Cheaters can distill so much self-doubt to the other... Link to post Share on other sites
splintered thing Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I miss snuggling, hugging, random kisses. It's really not about sex but it's the rest that I am struggling with. I have been alone for 9 months now. I just need some male affection from someone who genuinely cares for me. Can anyone relate? Is there anything I can do? Feeling so needy... I can relate. It's been about twelve or thirteen years in my case (not that there was much back then either), but I still think about stuff like that sometimes. What to do? Hmmm...get back to work, I guess; at least that's more productive than worrying about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I have a significant other. I have a husband who loves me very much. And I adore him. But he has been in another country since we were married. We have applied for his visa and it is moving along but very very slowly. We have been together for almost 9 years. He has been in that other country for over 6 and we have been married for over 3. But the last time I was in his arms was 3 years, 1 month, and 11 days ago as of today. It is not something I am used to even now. And I miss physical closeness so very much. I am a naturally affectionate person in romantic relationships so I feel as though there is a piece of me that has been amputated in a sense. Even before my husband I had long term relationships and always had a partner to cuddle with, kiss, and be kissed by. Ugh it is terrible. Link to post Share on other sites
BW007 Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I am gonna tell the truth... I miss the sex a lot too. Link to post Share on other sites
Maxwell Sage Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I'm in the same boat. At first, I missed the act of cuddling so much that I almost engaged in it with girls whom I had little interest in... But, I decided that was no fair to them. Also, since having my heart broken, I've had virtually no sex drive. I know where you're coming from because I haven't lived with my ex since May and it still feels weird going to bed by myself, due to the fact that we lived together for over two years. I can say that I've become more self sufficient since the split. I've also gotten more in touch with what matters to me in a relationship. Like the others said, I hope you can take comfort in knowing that you're not alone. Maybe this song will help you. It's sure made me happy today. =) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yd4JGy-ZbQU Link to post Share on other sites
e.clipse Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 yes, i can completely relate. however, i will be honest, too, and say that i also miss the sex very much. especially as of late, i feel like i am yearning for touches only a man can give, and i want so badly to be in someone's arms, feel their lips, their warmth. unfortunately, because i am the type of person who needs emotional satisfaction in order to properly enjoy the physical satisfaction, when i think about how i long for those cuddly, sweet, and sexual moments, i always revert to thinking of my exbf. i've come to the conclusion that because i have never been with anyone else, i associate everything the touching and caressing entails with him. that said, while i miss sex, i don't want to have sex with any random person just to scratch the itch, especially not if it is forced. never, ever, ever...but i'm going on a tangent now. sigh. oh lonely bed. Link to post Share on other sites
logitech Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I never deemed myself an openly affectionate person before, but after this I understand more about what I want. I love the cuddles, the holding hands, the little kisses, the hand through the hair, the fixing up of a shirt. Also just like e.clipse I too couldn't just bed some random... It will be a long process to get to that again. Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I miss snuggling, hugging, random kisses. It's really not about sex but it's the rest that I am struggling with. I have been alone for 9 months now. I just need some male affection from someone who genuinely cares for me. Can anyone relate? Is there anything I can do? Feeling so needy... I hope you don't have to learn to "live with it". I have, and it can be a sad time. Link to post Share on other sites
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